Why am I still up?
A combination of sadness and uncontrollable coughing.

If you knew me, you might think," Why the sadness? You have your family, you have the girl. Why?"

Well I don't know, but it feels as though my body does before I do, that I'm going to lose something. It's kept me up late at night. Coughing up a lung, my blood heats up, and goes straight to my head. I feel something coming.
But is it my gut, that's always right? Or my heart that steers me wrong..?

I can't tell..

It is beautiful to help the one you love, but is even more so beautiful to know that they don't need your help.

They can be strong all their own if needed be.

It is silent
but I feel like a thousand words are spoken
we don’t look each other in the eyes anymore  
we don’t touch
we only wave
from across the room

goodbye ¿

My mistakes grow by the day, as does your apprehension.
Each night I wait for you, the edge becomes so clear.
Sharp glass with a sharper reflection, that cuts away at everything you thought you knew about me.
Everything I thought I knew about myself.
I know nothing of that reflection,  and neither do you, my love.

Everytime you go,
My shadow follows.

It lays it's weight,
Upon your shoulders.

And I'm always so sorry.

My heart is beating,
Louder now.
It's like it knows it's,

Alone,
with me.

Soon, I wonder if
it will stop beating.

Would it make you feel better,
If I told you the sound of crying
Sounds like laughter at times.

It could be better, right?