When I first saw your face
My mind began to race
When I first held your hand
It felt like melting in sand
When I first kissed your lips
And you held my hips
It was like it would never end
And my heart you did mend
And when I first was between your legs
Every inch of you begs
But when I first said I loved you
It was true

Not a single day goes by
That I don't reminisce
On the good times that we had
And all the things I miss

My head is full of memories
Of all the days we shared
Driving all over the city
And doing anything we dared

We used to talk all night long
About the future and the past
We dreamed of seeing the world
We thought the time we had would last

But the funny thing about time
Is that it really doesn't care
If it ruins all your plans
Or if it makes life seem unfair.

Our dreams did not come true
Because time just slipped away
Our lives were suddenly torn apart
And the future turned dark and gray

I have missed you every day since
And I will miss you till the end of time
Some people believe that you only get one...
And I think you might have been mine

So I'm making sure to tell everyone
"Make time for what matters to you"
Because we think that we have forever
But that really isn't true...

My mother once told me
"How will you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"
And though I didn't like the green beans
I decided to try her on
It began with sidelong smiles
A hug held long
Then a kiss sprouting
From her rosebud lips
Burning against mine
Funny how
She didn't kiss me like a man
Where I knew brittle
She showed me tender
Where I knew vigor
She showed me patience
I fell in love with a woman
So quick and so surreal
And though it's what no mother hopes for
I know now not to discriminate by a gender

Dear whoever this concerns,

I have come up with a solution with my little problem.
My little problems that concerns sexuality.
I must know what gender I like at this very moment.
I little innocent 15 year old who struggles with this more than she struggles with breathing.
You asked me if I would date her and I said yes, but I'm not gay.
You asked me if I would date him and I said yes, but I'm not straight.
You told me I was confused if I didn't know who I liked.
What body parts I wanted to touch when I had ***.

I've said many times how I do not wish to have *** and you never
cared.
"You're too young to think like that" my mother would say but
am I?
All of the other kids are having *** and kissing and I don't want to.
I really just don't want to, but it's because I'm 15?
Because my hormones haven't kicked in?
I don't believe so, and it's not that you raised me to not want that.
I believe there is something that we don't know yet.

Maybe if we didn't give a **** about what we yearned for.
What we wanted when we fell asleep at night or woke up in the morning.
What we think when we look at someone attractive.
Or what we think when they talk or laugh.
Or what their body looked like in a certain outfit.
What we thought of their haircut.
The possibilities of thoughts towards the same and different gender
go on.

But what if we didn't care about that?
What if we solely focused on whether or not they made us happy.
It doesn't matter their personality, only if they made us happy.
Happiness is important like my father told me.
To not be happy is a sad thing and it breaks others hearts.

So I have decided that if I'm happy when I'm with someone then that means I'm happy.
I don't care their personality, appearance, their history, or anything like that.
I will focus on how they make me feel.
How they will make me feel will be happy.
Something I've never really been.