The pain in me
I give to thee.
The hurt I feel
I cannot deal.
My heart and soul
Put into a bowl
Can be shattered,
Or squashed like batter.
I see stars above
And it feels like love
But it is not love,
It is a dove.
Flying high in the sky
Waving its wing, goodbye.
A bullet stray
Love goes away
Saying one last goodbye
Love now die.

Barely Together

                               - Jocelyn Kay

How is it I hold myself together
When you’re around me
And I can breathe
The air around your skin

How is it I don’t cry always
Don’t collapse, don’t capsize
Every atom of me aching as I watch you be someone else’s

Selfish I am, the pain is of my own making
I’m happy you’re happy, but I’m shivering and tired
I’ll hold it together
But only for you

You don’t need to know, you don’t need the drama
I’ll hold it all in
And try to be me
Feeling my insides exploding
Calm, outwardly

Was this meant to happen?
Did I mess up a past life

Is there really just one Destiny?
Where do I find peace
Where do I find solace
Where do I find the happiness that I seek
Where am I headed
Where will I land

Will it just be another barren island

All we can do is hope,

Cling to that everthinning rope

To change is to die, and I’m broken inside

Will you leave me?
Will time split our paths in two?
Will I get to see you?
Can I still love you

Is it answers I seek? Or shallow distraction

I don’t believe in You.

But help me Lord

I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you

I miss the silly girl in me
Who though we would love eternally

A song, a place I’m right back there
Young, naive without a care

Before I really grew into me
There was always us, you and me

Good times planted in my mind
Bad boxed up somewhere behind

Now I’m older now I see
You were never good for me

I had bad days, tears and sad days
Not knowing what I had done days

Try harder tomorrow days
Fail again and again days

I miss the person you could sometimes be
When you were not hurting me

So do I miss you, don’t you see
I miss the person I though you could be

I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you

I try to wake up, Only
to find, I was never
asleep.

I’ve never received a flower
Or even a rose
But I’m a guy
So it’s acceptable I suppose
No kisses
Or sweets
No treats
That signifies ones feelings for me
No token of ones love
But I have gotten
Disappointment
Watered with hate
Planted in betrayal
Fertilized with lies
And maintained by fakes
Roses are Red
But my roses are dead
And crumble beneath my feet