In a moment,
It feels as though everything has changed.
The day that I met you,
My memory stained.
The day that you left me my heart had been drained.

In a moment,
I am no longer me.
I have been swallowed by the shadow of my past.
Almost as if it was never meant to last,
but still I couldn't see.
That you and I were never meant to be.

Like a firework
Life fades away into the night sky
We watch from far below
As we slowly lose control
Of our bodies and of our minds
I seem to have seen this a thousand times

My emotions are bottled up
They overflow and bleed
Down onto this page
Although I can't speak them
I still seem to repeat them
In my mind
Day to day
All the same

It comes to me so easily
When I write
But if I speak
It never comes out quite right
So here I sit
A blank slate
A man consumed by his own rage
As my emotion bleeds onto this page

A wave washes over a man
Taking with it all of his brokeness
And now there he lies
Nothing but a shell in the sand

If I told you to stay
Would that make a difference
In how you hate
Every word I say
I speak from the heart
While you try to pull away
All I ask is that you listen
This is my lifeblood
This is my only wish
That we can stay in this moment
Before I take this pill
And fall on the floor
Lying still as everything ends
And a new life begins

Searching
For a means to an end
Inside this crowded room
Their faces frozen in laughter
Perhaps now I can sink faster
Into this place called a home

Family
What does it mean
When they don't know me
Who I really am
Who I wish to be

Hope
Is something I have lost
Along this beaten path
I run farther and farther
My heart beating faster and harder
Can I find it again
Another way to cope
Another glimmer of hope

In some sort of twisted take on the word
You make me
Better
Better at being alone
Better at seeing my flaws
Better at being nothing at all

Yet in the same sense
It seems harder to fall
Easier to stand
Better to feel like me once again

If I were to say what you meant to me
It would be a day and night comparison
Of what I said and what I mean
I intenionally stay quiet
While you cause a scene
You say it's my fault
But while you rose
I fell and took the blame
Because for you I'd still do anything

Don't think you're alone
On this dark night
As I stand beside you
We've both been given a hard life
And are in need of a light

We have one another
Yet still there's a void
A hole in our heart's
Not that we don't care for one another
Just that this world has torn us apart

I wish we could be normal
And that I could tell you
You complete me
Or that I am perfectly fine
But that will never happen
We will never be able to be okay
With who we are in our mind's

It's a world class juggling act
With our lives hanging in the balance
And if one of us falls
Then we both will die from the challenge
Although we aren't complete
Our eyes will still meet
As we soar through the air
Embracing our despair
Whispering gently
Don't cry it will be okay
Now we can be together
For the rest of our days.

I write not for others
But for me
And the person I want to be
These insecurities and small things
That burden me
I throw them away
Onto this paper

In the darkness
My heart beats content
Where the noise is minimal
Life seems well spent
While I live in this world
I hope I can find
What you left for me
Before I go blind

Why must I leave
To see what you've made
Let me stay
In the darkness
As my soul fades away

On a warm summer day
As you began to walk away
I think about
The calmness in the past
The darkness in the future
And the stillness of the present

Would it be right
For me to leave now
Would it be wrong for me to stay
Forever in this moment
On this cold winter day

How can it hurt so much
To lose someone who was hurting me
Without a care in the world

Should I leave now
Or should I let you in
Break down my walls
And see the light again
I've been so lonely in my mind
That it makes it hard to find
A reason not to push you away
A reason not to leave today