all the words in the world
are incapable
of describing
the way
my heart breaks
but still beats

s.s

you were the one that hurt me
you were the one causing all this pain
you were the one that made this happen
yet if you were standing in front of me
with soft eyes and open arms
i would melt into your embrace
with tears you caused dripping down my face

s.s

i will admit
i am not the type of girl
to go to a bar and sit in a cloud of smoke
and listen to music purely because it is live
and i apologize if that is what you were expecting of me
but that is just not me
i am the type of girl
to go to old hidden bookshops and inhale the scent of literature
i am the type of girl
to sit on my bed at 4 am and talk about all the thoughts to a friend
i am the type of girl
who is more interested in sitting around a bonfire than going to a mall
i am sorry to any human expecting anything more or less of me
but i am not like that, it's just not me
i am a homebody, i am an lover of the arts, i am an introvert
i am a lot of things, but i am not a loud and extroverted human
i love my comfortable home and my few friends
now you are aware of my awkwardness and inability to be uncomfortable
i refuse to do something i don't want to
i am not going to do something purely because of the view of others
i am me, i am not going to change
and you are you, and you shouldn't have to change to get along with me
i apologize for expecting that of me, but then again
i am not going to apologize for being me

normal humans
don't need to
take a two hour name after school
to recharge their emotions
normal humans
don't need to
stop and remember where
they had just been
five seconds after they'd left
normal humans
don't need to question what they look like
or force the strings of their puppet flesh costume
to move to remind them
that they are alive
normal humans
don't need to fake their emotions
without knowing what they actually feel like
a rough copy of what should have been real

maybe i am not
a normal human