I’d rather see the good in 1000 people
And be wrong 999 times
Than to see the bad in 1000 people
And right every single time

**** me with roses
And bury me with lilies

Kiss me with orchids
And drown me in daisies

Worship with geraniums
And dance with cosmos

Dress me with asters
And adorn me with anemones

Do not plant me red petunias
For the splendor of puprle tulips

Let us live with peonies
And sleep with plum blossoms

And sometimes you will want to cry
When all that is left is goodbye
Because you can’t see beyond with
Those tear stained eyes
You can’t see to the future
That some goodly things will come on by
You see, goodbye is not all bad
The pain and memories will pass
You can pick yourself up
You can carry on
Because, even though there is pain
Pain is what makes you strong
So when pain is gone
You fear you will be weak
But know
That no matter what was taken from you
No one can take your strength

I have not prayed in a very long time
It’s not that I don’t try
Or that I don’t believe
I just can’t push it all out of my soul in words
“Words, words, words,
They do not reach me”
I do not know how
I want to
But I do not feel God
I pray in emotions
Because that’s all that I know
I can only hope that He understands.

I stand alone
In a green meadow
The silence of the birds
As heavy as my heart

Across the way
I see a lone figure
Standing in a grey glen
Decorated with vulture’s cries

For once lay one clearing
But now there are two
Parted through the middle
By a single salty stream

The stream begins nowhere
And ends before the wood
In the middle a solitary stone
Causing the water to ripple

A moth among
The butterflies
Not flashy but pretty still
The markings
Are more intricate
The wings are
Small but not
Delicate
More durable for flight
That moth among
The butterflies

When people notice
Little strange things
It sets the heart a-flutter
Just a little insignificant thing
An apple, shiny, red, and sweet
Just an apple, that nothing else could beat

Oh suff’ring Savior
Come to me
Come spread that shadow o’er me
Hands and feet been pierced by nails
Wrap your arms around me
Kneel with me in sorrowed prayer
As yonder comes the mor-ning

The suff’ring Savior
Cant you see?
He’s waiting there before thee
Your eyes may yet be filled with tears
He’ll wipe them so that you may see
Ask and he shall hear your plea
As yonder breaks the mor-ning

A Snow Storm of letters
Huddled in mounds
Blurring my eyes

A Snow Storm of letters
An incoherent mess
Clinging to my soul

A Snow Storm of letters
Black on a white sky
Inking up my skin

A Snow Storm of letters
A muddle of words
Fogging my mind

A Snow Storm of letters
Gently, quietly falling
Blinding my heart

A Snow Storm of letters
Harsh and cold
Obliterating my senses

If he read the things I wrote for him
Would he think I’d lost my mind?

Every time I think of him
I’m reminded of his scars.

Yet all I see are stars
And the glory that is him.

If I fell up into the stars
Would time be wasted there?

If you try
To back-pedal
            l
          l
        i
     h
   p
U
All you will do
Is c  a  h the bike
      r  s

Sometimes I wish I was made of paper
To be one and the same as the trees
My perfume would be of printers ink
My face would be traced with lines of quils
So that one day when I step out on mars
The sun burning with volcanos’ rage
My skin might burst into flames
Fahrenheit: 451 degrees

Sometimes I wish I was made of paper
To be one and the same with the trees
So that someday if it rained
I would fold myself into a paper boat
And sail along down the drains
The raging little river to wash away
My printers ink perfume
And wilt me way to silt.

I wish I wasn’t made of paper
Today
In the trash
A crumpled drawing
A child’s rainbow
With anger for red
And fear instead of orange
Cowardice replaces yellow
Existential dread in a sickly shade of green
Deep and burning sadness roiling in blue
Indigo frustration bleeds across the page
Violet colored love
And overwhelming clouds of ash

He called me beautiful
And I wouldn’t have believed him if not
For the hurt in his eyes when I laughed in his face

Reading the words of others
Filling my heart soul with
The thoughts I couldn’t
Make sense of myself
And writing the things I can
It’s time to come home
Loneliness like a disease fills me up
To be a part of something again
To try and make sense of this agony
I’m coming home

I used to think that blue eyes were over rated
And then I fell in love
Every time
He looked at me
It was like the ocean of his soul cleansed
The filth and dirt from my mind
And all I have wanted since
Was to see those eyes forever
Like glacier ice
They freeze me in my tracks
Keeping me from marking myself
Thinking of how sad they would look if he knew
Like flame
They burn me up inside
Turning my stomach to butterflies and ice
With all his understanding kindness
I see they sky reflected in him
With its storms
And the sun
And, my god, I see the stars.

Do you know that smell that some books have?
The smell that takes you straight into the world in the ink?
Something between smoke and wood chips?
The smell of what music would smell like?
That smell the one of the farthest back shelf in the library?
The one where it smells like the hands of those who’ve loved it?
Do you know that smell that some books have?
The one that can take you anywhere in the world?
Any time, anyplace, with any person, of any race?
The smell of fresh printers ink and ancient paper?
Do you know that smell?

I collect broken people
I put the cracked shells on a shelf
And try and try to fix them
But I keep cutting them
On the broken pieces of myself

And boys dressed in black,
buttoned up and playing pianos
Walk across the tightropes behind my eyes
That form the cobwebs of my hollow mind

The air between my ears fills with music
There is silence underneath—
Still and very sweet
Being drowned by harmonies

And the ground shakes
I sink down into the stars—
Captivated

By boys dressed in black,
Buttoned up and playing pianos

I let my self fall open
I bare my soul to you
I let you become everything
I hand you my heart

An angel in every sense
A word full of light
Full of wonder and beauty
A creature of pain and love

With white wings
Golden soft love
Carry me home
In your protecting arms

There was chaos in the music

Low and brutal
And horribly beautiful

There was chaos in the music

And he floated in every strain
Each unholy note, accented with pain

There was chaos in the music

Cotton wood floats lazily in the air
Like the first snow in summer
The wooden rail of the bridge is sunwarmed
The breeze is cool and gentle
Blowing ripples in the river
The green stained glass water glides smoothely
Fish and turtles play here
Walking along the bank
The little clearings dappled with sun
Walking with nature, his hand in mine
Hand in hand with nature
Chatting with time
Watching the roses bloom
Sometime in the heat of June
While the bunnies play
In the cool of the shade
Cotton wood floats lazily in the air
Like the first snow in summer

There is a certain kind of chaos
That I genuinely crave in my bones
The kind of chaos that reaps no destruction
The eases out in puddles and in eddies
That builds love in the grass
And grows trees in the night
That empties itself into the stars
And spills onto the moon,
Nesting around the sun
And warming the hearts of the young

Dear, gentle Hunter
You cried when you killed me
Your desperation I see,
Battling the kindness in your eyes.

Dear, gentle Hunter
You lay your hand on me
Softening my fear with your touch
Your need was greater than mine.

Dear, gentle Hunter
You pulled the arrow from my side
To passify my pain
Your love of the world showing plain.

Dear, gentle Hunter
You looked for a fawn before you shot
Thinking of the children of your own
The winter would take them if not for me

Dear, gentle Hunter
You took everything you could,
Nothing would be wasted
Your gratitude obvious

Dear, gentle Hunter
I willingly give you myself
Let me give you the peace of knowing
I have the serenity of my worth

He
does
Not look
like
I
Thought he
would
Death
I thought it was a skull
He should be a scythe
Ah! The glorious scythe
Curved and gleaming
But
      where
       is
it
That vicious scythe
Notherenotherenothere
Where
Why
       is
He
     beautiful
kind
          funny
  wrong
Shouldn’t be
Should be
hideous
But he is wonderful
With eyes bluer than the sea
And skin turned copper in the sun
no gleaming bone
no grinning skull
His only weapon:
the beautiful lies that escape his lips and drip down my ears,
so very like honey
And they’re mine
I accept his embrace

If the door is locked become the key
Become the key
Or find a window
Become the key
Or find a window
Get in, get through
Open the door
Make your difference

So many drafts
So much to write
And so very little
To say

You would think
Even as I lay here crying
I would feel something
But I don’t
I don’t feel anything
I’m empty

Missing someone
Who isn’t gone
Is like having
A hungry soul

Loving someone
Who cannot return it
Is like having
An empty heart

What a grisly set of twins
Brother and sister
One could scarcely tell
Where one begins
At the others end
“I want it, I’ll take it”
Said he, beside she
Who proclaimed
“I want it, I hate
That they’ve got it“
Such a fine and shifting line
Between these

I fall in Love a little bit everyday
With someone new,
But it’s usually you
In the front of my mind

I fall in love with her lips
With his thousand watt teeth,
That make my knees go weak
With the shades of pink running
through her blonde
With the long wavy blackness
that reaches to his hips
With his soft grey’s warmth
With her slanted noir yeux
With his olive tan
With her rich coffee brown

I fall in Love a little bit everyday
With someone new
But usually it You
In the front of my mind

I fall in love with your smile
With the sun in your mouth
I fall in love with the way
That your hair parts funny in the back
With the stubble along your chin
With your perfect cream skin
I fall in love when you are kind
And when you are a ****
I fall in Love every time
That your soft brown eyes meet mine
And my stomach turns to butterflies

I fall in Love a little bit everyday
With someone new,
But usually it’s you
In the front of my mind

I let my fantasy take hold
I left it in power for far too long
I convinced myself it was the truth
For me as much as you
I let myself believe
That everything done
Was done for two
I let myself ignore the truth
For the beauty of fantasy
Floating in ecstasy
Made up a hope in my mind

But as always
You were there
You looked me in the eye
Took my fantasy from my hands
And ripped it to shreds
I didn’t say a word, I knew
I knew this was coming
The things I once found sweet
Now seem ugly and in vain
As the you I made up in my mind
Faded into truth

That’s what’s wrong with this country:
We fidget.
We fidget with our hands
With our politicians
With our plans
We fidget in an unending cycle
Because we don’t know what to do with ourselves
So do not fidget
Give yourself a purpose
Be still, be steady
A rock in a ceaselessly moving current of people.

I was so terrified
At my first kiss
I was his first too
He told me I was terrible

The second I only prefer
Not to mention
So sweet
What a shame

So when it came to you
I was petrified
The first time
Our lips touched

So deathly afraid
That I wouldn’t be
Enough/ good enough for you to stay
No one else did,

No one but you

Why don’t we give flowers to boys?
Is it not masculine for them to enjoy
The delicate curve of petals,
So very like lips?
Why don’t they get Teddy bears
And soft stuffed things
To cuddle like a lover,
So very like girls do?
Why don’t we give them
Mushy little love notes,
Just like we expect?
Things go both way my friends.

Withered
Emaciated
He reaches for more

That’s enough
I said
And ****** it away

Hollow
He stares
He is starved

I poured to you
                         My heart and soul
                                                        and this is the thanks I get
                                    For my love
I can’t do this, I must
Leave

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray your arms my dreams to keep
And if the nightmares make me wake
I pray to you my peace to take
If I should rise before the day
I pray for you to guard my way

Love, to you I pray
You stood beside me for the day
I am safe with you in sight
Perhaps I may dream tonight
You’re my light, my life you bless
You thought me hopefulness
In your arms you hold me tight
So now to you I say goodnight.