By Arcassin Burnham



I wanna make this last forever,
I wanna have the kids and the marriage,
I wanna have hold your hand at every park,
I wanna be the man rolling the baby carriage,
I wanna know if its real,
I wanna know if we will live good,
Some where in Hawaii,
Were both misunderstood,
So why not forget everybody,
I wanna luv ya more than me.

You look at me as if I have no reason to be upset
As if I'm just overreacting over the whole situation
You left me
There is nothing else to it

You left me there all alone
Soaking in my own tears
As I was forced to absorb the pain that surrounded me
But all I did was just smile as if everything was okay

Everything is not okay!!!
Last night was supposed to be one of the most exciting nights of my life
But it wasn't
Instead, I just sat there crying in silence

I had been abandoned
Never once in my life did it hurt so bad to alone
I've always liked being alone
But last night it was just unbearably painful

Everyone constantly asking me, "where's your mom, is she here"
And constantly I gave the same exact answer,"No, she had to go to work"
Work my
I have no mother

Every single time I heard that same exact line I wanted to burst out into tears
I just wanted to say * it and just walk home
But I didn't...
I just sat there and endured the excruciating pain

Over and over again I kept telling myself,"she'll be here, she wouldn't just leave me here"
So minute after minute, hour after hour I sat there starring at the door ,waiting for the moment she'd walk in
But she never did
But the fact she never came isn't what did it

As I awoke the next morning, the sky seemed dull
The birds were silent, and the smell of the morning dew was absent
My heart was beating so settle
As if the pain it endured was nothing but a dream

But it wasn't a dream
I knew very well that what happened last night was very real
But I didn't deny my heart and just went with it
I tried so hard to pretend like it didn't happen

Then she spoke,"Good morning sir"she said like she always does
But just as I was about to respond it all snapped
My imaginary world that I tried so hard to believe it was real
It dissipated into the wind

You dare spoke to me as if nothing happened
My hand shuck in anger
I was ready to erupt with mighty rage causing the very earth to scream in terrier
But instead i remained silent as I began to understand the rage of the abandoned

Memories
Hazy as the clouds you don't reside under
My eyes thunder with the possibility of seeing you
And the mist is from the realization I never will

Black silhouetted are the dreams,
That scream at me through windows
Like widows
Begging for their lovers to come home...
All so beautiful...
Like petals on headstones
Or blood on snow...
Nightmares remind me
My life was never a show.
I remember triggers and barrels,
....
Screams and sparrows...

Blood spilled to keep blood concealed in the hearts I love
Are liters of my life well spent
The screams die down even in my own ears and silently I repent

The roses bloom,
In last winter's corpse.
Watch the strings on the loom,
They weave life's course.
Breathe in the same air ****** did,
Exhale the same breath Mother Theresa Had.
Accept the curse among the twigs,
For there are blessings to be had.
But never forget,
Any stone on that path.
Swallow regret,
We all wear a mask

**Carpe Diem