My partner and I had tickets to the show last night in Chicago.  After 7days in the hospital my girlfriend's 89 year old grandma was to come home with hospice care to follow.  Instead of a splendid concert experience I  knew I had to be there for her fam to ease the tough pill to swallow.  Grandma Monica shed the shell, saw it bagged up and hollow.  I was able to provide hugs and love, along with the opportunity to speak about the flow of energy.   I like to remind myself and others to speak to the "deceased" for in my own scope it's been therapeutic for me. Haven't been this heavy in a long time.  The rain and gray are beautiful,  relaxed in the lack of sunshine.  I've visualized our meeting many times, I look up to you being a fellow sayer of rhymes.  I appreciate the way you've spent your mind.  It wasn't until a couple days ago I realized one of the impossible inserts may have been signed.  Thank you for your shine, highlighting the design of divine. The life you've made manifest helps others feel breaths inside their chests.  Two legends yesterday were laid to rest, so now I look at myself and decide to clean my mess.
Gotta reconnect with my descendant sandwich before the organic ingredients are digested and appear to vanish.  To those I want to know, you are one of my favorite artists.   I laugh but could totally see some sort of apprentice partnership.  Doesn't look like I'll make it this tour...and one of my cats just puked, gonna go skip aesop rocks in my ripped up Lugz boots.
Much love,
Ryan

Another day, another existential crisis
Stress releases cortisol which leaves the body lifeless
Working on my posture, getting twisted in fine print
Spending moments for money doesn't feed the idea of timeless
Baking in the sun, not having fun, I quit.
Not sure exactly when it was that my mind split
I refuse to die without expressing my gift
Or curse, to disperse words even when they hurt in bursts.  A surging splurge that can take away my energy.
Not sure if I'm my best friend or worst enemy
Coincidentally the mental fees are a mix between too heavy and really aint ****.
But it's been a long time since I believed in coincidence.  Time to change the skit - redirect focus from the cobweb tombs to flowers in full bloom.  I am one with the sun but currently resonate with the moon.  This distance is true, but I'll come back and love loudly again sometime soon.  Better make it now, why wear a head full of dread when a smile is more profound?  Better make it now.
*breathes

New details have arisen, so much to process.
Right turn at Words, haven't been this lost yet
With anger comes regret, a downhill ***** tailspin
Feelings have changed, eyes have been opened.
Madre, I just want you to know your worth.  
Your kids cherish you, and we thank you for raising us since birth.  Let go of those that engulf you in hurt.  It's the worst at first, but the sun stays persistent.   You have a light inside you that I'll fight to not see diminshed.
You will rise to heights we've only seen in dreams.  I am there with a big hug the next time you close your eyes and breathe.
Despite being separated by a slew of states;
Our bond is beyond worldly,  depths reminding me to appreciate.
Pain is temporary, love is eternal
I'll be coming to Virginia through the next wormhole.  I'm still learning about taking risks and how to be, but just remember your smiling face is one I love to see.

Hey world, I think I'm losing my mind.  Ill thoughts take me for violent rides.  It's cool, I know it doesn't make sense.  Depressed?  I thought so, but I have known to be wrong.  Same song different chords.  Found out this morning mikey died a day after an intervention.  Pretty sure Bobby's funeral was a year ago.  I'm a mason jar, not sure what I'm holding.  Drop me on the floor.  At work trying to keep myself together, feel stupid for sharing.  Pressed d.
My words/poetry that typically seem oh so uplifting are for me for you, so I don't pretend to be some sort of guru - I'm so far from perfect it sometimes disgusts me.
God, I'm blessed to be so ******* ugly
#firstworldCarbonproblems

Low in the depths of tar-pit lungs
Teeter tottering on words stilll unsung
Dreading bother thinking I can't add up to the sum
Treading water with the head above to breathe by the beat of the drum
Reflecting all of life even when the thought of existence stung
Already rebirthed a few times at 25 years young
And I'm not done
I know it's just my heart by all the switching of the rhythms
Haven't yet lost sight of land, therefore I must keep swimming
Slipping through ripples of time, knowing we're only just beginning.
Blessed to have seen the sun set but now darkness reigns king.
Serve the mind for entrapment, where are you taking me?  No, wait hold up where are you taking me?
A cold cell mold confine hell-bent on destruction
As soul sits with patience until we're ready for instruction


Is this life a cavernous abyss, or buoyant brilliance stuffed with unfolding bliss?
Loosening our grips throwing caution to the wind
For at our rest date we can smile about all we actually did

Vining my way through a period of construction.
Acquisition with reduction
ThisCurrent position holds no grin
When ya gotta weak spine slumped so thin caught in the midst of a mental tailspin intertwining the connections as another whirlwind - lesson
Holes were punched in for memory's retention.
Acknowledging the unknown came with clairvoyant introspection
And conscious intention management
Be aware of body language and how you translate it
Moments sink like the rock that skipped over lake waves.  
Dare to act now and not be afraid
Be an aid to humanity and ultimately yourself for we are the space within everything once the oneness has been felt
The weather has helped.
...And so in it I delve
for ive already slipped through hell
and honestly im quite glad I fell
Flames fueled us enough to embrace our hold
While Rain soaks the soul for us to flower and grow
Rise up from below to experience the mighty breeze blow
Your trials through the dirt allow the light to show
Apollo wants to see your glow
Let go and tap into the flow, present tense beauty forward into the unknown

But if you don't break out of your shell how are you to ever know?

Is this life a cavernous abyss, or buoyant brilliance stuffed with unfolding bliss?
Loosening our grips throwing caution to the wind
For at our rest date we can smile about all we actually did

(€€Fool you will never be good enough,
Should have stayed in school
Remain obedient to your masters
Your ocean is really a pool
Your attempts to peer past the hollowgram Have been deemed uncool
Get back in line and enjoy life as a tool€€

Sir you got me a all wrong,
Let'***** the brakes for a second
Pull off onto the shoulder for a moment to be reflective.
Your energy is scattered, the gears are wearing thin.  When's the last time you sat alone and sought answers from within?
No matter, there is time now to begin.
Conscious living is by no means an accident
I appreciate the time you've already spent
But I must ask
What is the tale of your means to an end?
The answer is rhetorical, but I am here for you as a friend.

Life is school, this is silly.  
I was always excited for recess,
Born to be Wild like homeboy Free *****
Dustin checked in to eventually check out.
He knew there was so much more that our existence was about.
Went into the wild under the guidance of Rafiki

Nemo found himself at Free Thought Academy

Lion King was seen  weeping only tears of joy
At first roar of his cub, darling baby boy
He knew to nourish this being's mind, body, and soul.  So he gained deep wisdom in the art of breath control.  After this recognition, he taught his practice for free.  Nowadays everything is fluid and the kingdom thrives with ease.

The bumble went numb
To the jumbled rumble of the drum
Soaked in *** with no soul in the strum
Planet turned to crumbs among the willfully dumb,
Who believed that transcending plateaus of  followers ******* the rule of thumb

The humble *** was labeled ****.
Yet he knew inside his heart was home, which is something we could learn from.
Embracing his gentle internal hum
Fear was something to which he would not succumb

Ultimately he shifted energies of countless who never knew his name
Here he is still smiling beyond the grave, wishing well to all, on every unfolding plane.
Conditioned Systems train to judge what's sane,
But he was aware that heart resonates higher than the brain.
Glass with no stain saintly praises humanity
& Through this kindness we've changed,
Blessed is thee who believes in this lucid dream
Forever writing down lifetimes on a page.
Stay gracious and I promise love will remain
Now may the garden of your heart feel the sun and the rain

*Thank you~