I did it again....

You don’t need all those chemicals
You can feel them can’t you?
Heart rate picking up speed
Anxiety growing in your gut
You shouldn’t have done that
You know better
You know this is how you get worse
This is how you get bad
This is where you go wrong
When your hands are shaking
Heart racing
And you start to remember...

I remember....
I used to love this
I love this.

Death is like you,
silent, cold, and
doesn’t love me back

If you are death
then I long to be dead

he keeps asking
why
I don't write
about him

my dear,
my sweet darling,
it is because
you
do not cause heartache
and pain
like the others did

I do not know
how
to write
when I am in love

I hurt too