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Why do
                       you
                               love
                           other
              people
first
b
e
f
o
r
e

yourself?
Self-less...
We danced toward
each other's wounds

with gentle step
and touched inside

and now the bleeding
has resumed

and all this blood
is hard to hide.
I'll sing of all the ways I miss you
and how this sorrow came to be
the verses, lies I should have whispered
the chorus, truths in harmony.

The melody will break the silence
and call your broken heart to me
to be repaired by love unyielding
to broken hymns in minor key.
Depression lies and makes us push those we love most away, sometimes so far away that they can never return.
people turn their backs
they can't handle emotion
they run with the packs
they can't handle devotion
they only want stacks
financial promotion
their names on the plaques
of outstanding notion

people turn their heads
toward their satisfaction
no tears are shed
struggle is a distraction
they look straight ahead
toward their transactions
they walk on the dead
to get to their attractions
I can't believe
How spoiled I am
I have a bed to sleep in
Food
Water
Clothes
Yet sometimes I want more.
Such a brat!
Thinking I deserve these things
While people who work
100,000 times harder than me
Die every day
Without the things I take for granted
Things I never even think of
Why am I alive
If I'm such a waste of resources
All the wealth in the hands of the few. Very saddening.
You were broken when you were five,
It's no wonder you were struggling to survive,
When your only support is a crutch of self-doubt,
How can anyone expect you to figure yourself out?


You lack the tools to fix yourself,
So you tend to turn to someone else,
To hold and guide you,
Always coming to your aid,
You forget the loneliness you felt when you were eight.


But using people as crutches is naïve,
Because eventually they get tired and leave,
And now you're ten, but left again,
Struggling to figure out how to fit in.


People come and go,
But you become wiser and grow,
Soon you're sixteen and have loyal friends,
And you realize there's no point in trying to "fit in".


The years fly and you turn eighteen,
And realize time has floated by like a dream,
You've learned to be your own crutch,
And that you used to overthink too much.

But life has taught you a lesson,
That you cannot use people as your medicine.

-a.r
♦ Become a friend
♦ Learn her secrets
♦ Swallow her demons by choice
♦ Tell her she is wanted always in all ways
♦ Choose time shared over all else
♦ Pick weakness out of need
♦ Push hard while showing kindness
♦ Sincerity and pain
♦ Wanting all, yet giving nothing
♦ Prove dependability
♦ Turn fear into reality
♦ Use her heart against her, gutting her invisible

And with the final lie that defines a gender
"I want you to always be here"
Turns into a silent, wordless exit
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