Body is sinking to, through the linoleum floor
Hands are raking through the rough hair
Raking down the face
Raking down
Down
Breath is clawing its way up from the burning lungs
Heart is beating to keep up with the beat of a mind's recession
And tears are heaving themselves to their deaths
And sobs are leaking out of the mouth, trying to escape through the cracks in the walls
And time ticks like a car crash happening in slow motion
And I'm losing my ******* mind, constant screaming and ripping
And I'm falling through
And the bed, and the routine, and me are suffocating
And only the man in the moon will be here to comfort me
but even sometimes he goes away too

Time is a dandelion sprouting up between jagged cracks in the sidewalk
It is a child ripping that dandelion from the ground
Time is standing at a truck stop between here and nowhere at midnight
It is the empty dark and the smell of gasoline
Time is fingers playing a black grand piano effortlessly
It is the splintering of the piano string
Time is a fluorescent, sterile doctor's office after a collapse
It is the "I'm so sorry"
Time is the green tiled bathroom with the broken shower curtain
It is the positive and it needs to be the negative
But time is not the ticking of the clock
But it is the sound that softly ricochets off the walls as you lie awake

Inhaling cigarette smoke is like inhaling the sun entirely
It is like solar flares are shooting down your throat into to your heavy chest
But it is worth the pain that it gives when you quickly exhale the curling smoke into the streetlamp lit night as your fingers tremble and you breathe in crystal clear air
It is a sense of comfort
It is like love
Because love can burn your being and consume your flesh and your eyes
But love can calm your soul and revive your sore lungs
from that time you sobbed because of when he...
When she...
When they...
When life...
Love is like cigarette smoke
It can float and wisp around you and bring you peace
but it can suffocate you until you can no longer breathe.

before you go and do something dumb
I know how it is just to feel numb.
take a moment to let me tell you people care
because maybe you want to share but you don't dare.
don't be afraid to tell somebody you need help
because no matter how small the yelp
they will be there to listen to you
so maybe this is your cue.
this world is better with you in it so don't quit
Please stop hiding that pit
speak out and seek attention
let's start the process of ascension
I know that you feel alone all by yourself
like you've been placed on a dusty shelf
cut off from a society that doesn't love you
but I'm telling you that isn't true.
just give a call to that hot line
let it be a light in the dark that shines
because they will answer and listen
the tears will fall and glisten
because you'll know that they care
you can let go of the tremendous weight you bare.
people love you and they always will
so before you take that pill
before that Blade touches you again
before you step off the end
put down that gun
and just call them so you live to see the morning sun
I love all of you with all of me
I just hope I reach you in time for you to see.
I beg and plead
before you start to bleed
just call them and talk
they want to help you they really do.
don't be afraid to take that first step
don't be like me and never speak out.

-Caleb J. Collins