Rebecca

Rebecca Feb 2020

I watched you crumble.
I tried to pick your pieces up and glue you back together.
All you wanted was him and all you
did was unglue yourself.

Rebecca Feb 2020

The Ocean of Depression

Depression.
No one prepares you for the emotional waves you're about to be hit with.
The waves of deep sadness hitting you with everything in them.
Sometimes it's not just the waves of sadness that hit you.
It's also what's caught within them that hits.
Baggage
Anger
Loss of Appetite
Irritability
etc.
Now, when you're hit with those waves, you don't just come out sopping wet from the tears.
You come out scraped and bruised from the fight you were giving while being trapped beneath, just trying to break the surface to gasp for air.

#sad #depressed #depression

Rebecca Feb 2020

My Ink Covered Scars

I am determined to cover the scars riddling my body with the sweet black ink.
To cover the once red oozing cracks and burn marks with
blooming flowers and healing gardens.
Ink gardens filled with love and empowerment.
To let the flowers bloom from the cracks of the hurt

#tattoos #tattoo #healing #empowerment #love

Rebecca Feb 2020

Hidden Love

She stood from the outside only hoping to be among the others.
Wondering why she couldn't show her love.
Infuriated but yet so scared of how the world would view her.
Second guessing her past, current,and future moves.
Go out or Stay in.
"Why must I hide you, love?"
"Because, you'll lose those most precious to you and from there, there is no going back"
Deciding she would rather keep her family and stay private rather than lose those closest to her, she held her wife in the tightest grasp and whispered
"I'm sorry my love. There's always tomorrow"

#relationship #love #lesbian #closeted

Rebecca Feb 2020

The Screwup

No matter what I do, I'm always being told what I'm doing wrong.
"Just stop! You can't do anything right!"
"Why do you do the things you do?!"
"Can't you do anything right?"
As I sit in this lonely bed tonight, all I can think of is how I'm the screwup of my life.
How I will never achieve the statuses my elders have.
How I keep letting those around me down.
I am the screwup.
Nothing more and nothing less.

#depression #angry #sad #messy #screwup

Rebecca Jan 2020

10:17 AM

It's 10:17 AM and my anxiety is eating me alive.
I feel as if I'm being swallowed whole.
No matter how far I run, He always finds me.
He sinks his teeth into my skin with no warning.
As much as I want to run and hide, I can't seem to move.
It's 10:17 AM and my heart is pounding louder than the car noises outside my window and I can't seem to find the oxygen to breathe.

#anxiety #panic #running #stuck

Rebecca Jan 2020

Tilt-A-Whirl

My life is a tilt-a-whirl
Constant twists and turns with no control
Life shakes me with no time to take hold and breathe

#anxiety #sad