New details have arisen, so much to process.
Right turn at Words, haven't been this lost yet
With anger comes regret, a downhill ***** tailspin
Feelings have changed, eyes have been opened.
Madre, I just want you to know your worth.  
Your kids cherish you, and we thank you for raising us since birth.  Let go of those that engulf you in hurt.  It's the worst at first, but the sun stays persistent.   You have a light inside you that I'll fight to not see diminshed.
You will rise to heights we've only seen in dreams.  I am there with a big hug the next time you close your eyes and breathe.
Despite being separated by a slew of states;
Our bond is beyond worldly,  depths reminding me to appreciate.
Pain is temporary, love is eternal
I'll be coming to Virginia through the next wormhole.  I'm still learning about taking risks and how to be, but just remember your smiling face is one I love to see.

With a pocketful of medicine,
And an optimistic air,
I set out to cure the world.

I had no idea, when I first set out,
Just how far my journey would take me.
I had dreams of dragons,
Heroic battles, and the vast expanse
Of the seemingly endless sea
Racing through my mind.

My friends, not knowing the true
Reason for my adventurous ways,
At first tried to discourage me;
Convincing me that to help myself;
To put myself above all others,
Would be, if not nobler,
Then at least more sensible.

Ah! My friends! Did you not realise,
That you were just encouraging
My foolish deeds more so?
For me, true happiness lies
In the smiles of others, and
The joys I inspire.

I find no pride in accomplishing
Deeds that fulfill other needs;
Diplomas and job offers
Sail over my head, and I
Pay them no heed.

Such accomplishments should be
Left (in my opinion), to kings,
And emperors, and others
Who I pay little regard to,
Who find such happiness
At receiving a scrap of paper
With not a jot of poetry on it.

I remain of the servile class.
By my own admission and actions,
I shun those who would have me
Believe that my past life,
The one in which I ruled,
If not the world, than at least
The part of it I so ignorantly knew,
Was a happier one.

So far there have been no dragons,
Save for the ones I carry with me
In my imagination,
The heroic battles I fought
Have been with no-one but myself,
In the recesses of my mind,
And the vastness of the ocean,
Carries itself, past the distant shore,
And into the hearts of those I love.

As I reach into my pocket,
I find the goods I carry to be
No more than sugar pills-
A placebo of the mind, that
I am told is good for nothing
By learned physicians, who know
Far more on the subject than I.

Thus I find myself in this foreign land,
With nothing but my optimistic air
To see me through.
I wish no more than to lend my hand,
And show others that I care.
Tell me; Is that a placebo too?

How dare I meander through the woods,
And touch the trees with my fingers?
Nature wails loudly like a siren,
Yet here among the trees humankind lingers.

The grass crunches under my feet,
It might as well be the skulls of the innocent.
Nature exists as a cruel force but
Compared to people it is benevolent.

Smoke trails from chimneys to the sky,
Like black ink staining bright pages.
Mother Nature’s very tears consist of acid,
Which has accumulated throughout the ages.

Forests are ravaged so that we can have amenities,
Have the desired fabrics, papers, and things of the like.
Humans draw from nature as if it is expendable,
And the environment cannot retaliate nor strike.

When a child is beaten by his parents,
The world is aghast,
For how could one so young
Motivate hatred so vast?

Yet so few weep for nature,
Which in essence is that same crying child.
Unable to raise a hand in defense
Against destruction that is so wild.

Our fingers are stained with Mother Nature’s blood,
Yet we dare to bask in Her beauty.
We have failed to protect her
And we have abandoned our duty.

There are no boundaries
In the mind
Anything is conceivable
It's practically unbelievable
I create and destroy at my every whim
Like a pendulum, like a monstrous crane
I close my eyes,
And exist in an alternate reality, In my brain

Visual artist is not enough of a description
To define these visions
I see worlds I can create
With multitudes of mediums

What a profound blessing
And an irreversible curse
To feel and see and be so intensely
To be so deviant from the mediocre
Whose thoughts are like stale smoke
I see color, I see life
I see beauty, and the living struggling under
The weight of strife
But I get out easel and brush
Right when I've had enough
And I create my way back to sanity

Maybe it's merely a false happiness
That I aim to create
To stave off this disease of
Reality
That I hate.

The final day, the final hour
The final minute, the final second
The final moment
Moments
Wrapping up around me
Like sweet sweet surrender
Coming down on me
Turning frowns upside down on me
Oh sweet melodies
Caress my inquisitive mind
And time no longer follows a linear path
The past, present and future merge
Into this outcome
That like a once cocooned caterpillar
Emerges
With luminous wings of art
And the wind whispers secrets
My conscious mind cannot yet discern
When I close my eyes
Close, open
Close, open
Like a sea anemone
Pulsating beneath
Layers of dense, buoyant water
Strands like limbs
Moving fluidly with the flow
Of I know and I don't know
The outcome,
Like an equation
Nearing so close
Hold my heart so
passionately inside of me
Here we go.

Sometimes
I still
Think of you

Only hundreds of miles away
A train took me away
So far, far away
To a new day

I regret to say
That even though mostly
I've forgotten
Let go of the past
Finally
Some days I think about you and
Us
The happy and the sad
The times we snuggled up together
In the morning before you had brushed your teeth
So you refused to kiss me
But I still stole kisses from you anyway

And then sometimes
I remember the breakup
And how ugly it got
And how cruel we became
Slandering each other to our friends
And calling each other names
So I wonder if it was true love
Like we said it was
And even if the onlookers disagree
I think I know
That we loved each other, maybe, once

I fear intermittently,
I get terrified
Of the thought
That I will never fall in love again
With someone else
The way I fell in love with you

And some alien longing
That I try so eagerly to repress
Is still beating in my chest
Some wish born 6 years ago
When I was so young
And we held each other in our arms
And I told you I loved you
And you got so excited, you almost cried
And you kept telling me again and again and again
"I love you. I love you. I love you!"

And then eventually,
Months later
those words evaporated
As we separated
And even though we claimed to still love each other
I could no longer find a genuine love in you
And I think it had left me too
Only to be replaced by selfishness and hate

I have
This weird dream
Two people sitting at a screen
One expressing her soul
The other receiving,
Reading
But where does this knowledge go?
My intention is to move your soul
But does it fail?

Sometimes I still think of you
And I find it unwarranted
But I can't help myself from sinking back into the
Warmth of these memories
The nostalgia brings me ease
It takes me back to a time
When I still held hope in my youthful heart
Before the trauma reshaped me
Before the disease
Of my identity
Re-made me
Into this cynical, skeptical being
Who can't receive relief

Sometimes I experience
A vestigial grief
For everything I once had
That I took for granted.