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Ashwin Kumar Feb 2023
There are many kinds of love
Romantic love, the most common
And also the most overrated
Family love, probably the most beautiful
And most unconditional as well
Platonic love, or friend love
Again, simple and unconditional
Something that has become very popular these days
Which leaves us with.....cousin love
Yes, one of the most underrated forms of love
Seeing as it is not frequently talked about
Well, most families stick together
So do best friends
However, there are a few things
Which you may not feel comfortable sharing with your family
Usually, the best option is to share such things
With your friends instead
Or rather, your best friend
But then, it is also possible
That you may not have a best friend
In such a case, your best bet would be your cousins
Cousins are part of your extended family
And they also know your immediate family well
Remember, you don't always have to choose between two extremes
Sometimes, you have to take a middle path
That's exactly where your cousins come in
Because they will listen to you fully
Without getting too emotionally involved or overprotective
And in addition, they may have suggestions
That might not have occurred to your family or friends
So, cousins are more important
Than most people might think
And it is high time
That we start showing love to our cousins as well
Along with family and friends, of course
But yes, not all cousins are the same
Just as it is better to have a select few close friends
With whom you can share anything
Rather than a big group of fair weather friends
It equally makes sense
To maintain close relationships with a select few cousins
Who mean the world to you
And always have time for you
Yes, cousin love is extremely underrated
But at the same time, very valuable
And something to be cherished, forever
Dedicated to my close cousins
Ashwin Kumar Jan 2023
In order to achieve results
You need to work hard
That should be easy enough to understand
The difficult part, though
Is how hard you need to work
Especially when it comes to Recruitment
You see, the nature of the profession is such
That you can't predict anything
Because everything depends on people
And every individual is different and unique
In his/her own and special way
Thus, luck is very crucial
When it comes to hiring people
There are times
When you work out of your skins
And still fail to achieve the desired results
Because luck is not on your side
There are also times
When you do the bare minimum of work that's required
And are able to achieve positive results
Because you are kissed by Lady Luck
On both cheeks
These contrasting scenarios are common
When it comes to hiring Investment Bankers
You spend the entire day calling people
But very few show interest
And apart from those who are not keen
There are quite a few
Who don't even bother to answer your calls
Or call you back
There are also some people
Who say "I will think about it and get back"
Either they get back with a negative response
Or they don't get back at all
That is to say, they just disappear!!
Thus, you have to start all over again
And since you also have tight deadlines
You are forced to work almost till midnight
And sacrifice a few hours of sleep as well
Since you have to go to office the very next day
And it does not end there
Your work forces you to stay at office till 7 PM
Almost an hour later than usual
And to add insult to injury
You get a mild reprimand
From the security staff
Of the business centre which houses your office
For not leaving on time
If you thought the worst was over
Then you were wrong
Because you are forced to work on Sunday as well
In order to ensure
That at least one resume is sent to the client
At the start of the week to follow
If only if you had some luck
That is to say
If even one of the candidates who had said "No"
Had said "Yes" instead
Then you'd have enjoyed a weekend free of work
And got some valuable rest in the process
For all your efforts of the previous week
Yes, in order to achieve results
You do need to work hard
But how hard you need to work
Is something that is almost impossible to answer
When it comes to Recruitment
Particularly when you are hiring Investment Bankers
Poem on the amount of the never-ending work that I had to do; in order to share resumes for two never-ending Investment Banking roles
Ashwin Kumar Jan 2023
The most beautiful relationship of all
Is not romance
It is friendship
Because there are no rules
No layers or complexities
Just shared understanding
Which is unconditional in nature
When I think about friendship
I think particularly about you
Whom I've known for ten years
Mind you, I've known quite a few friends
For a longer period of time
However, none of them are as special
As you are, to me
Very humble and unassuming
And yet having an enthusiasm
That is hard to match
When it comes to your favourite topics
Such as gaming, movies, animes and Hindu mythology
You have an easygoing and amicable nature
That would appeal to most people
Which is why I'm surprised
That you don't have a lot of friends
But then, it is better to have a few friends
Who mean the world to you
And would do anything for you
Rather than a large group of friends
Who are only there to share your joys
And are unable to support you
When you need it the most
I follow this principle to the tee
In fact, we both are in the same boat
You have always stood by me
In my hour of need
In fact, you are more of a family member
Than a friend
And I am really glad
That your family sees me the same way as well
In fact, your mother was a very close friend
Of my late maternal grandmother
And it is no coincidence
That Patti came in your dream
Just before she left for her heavenly abode
Our friendship is indeed a beautiful relationship
One that will last
As long as we ourselves do
Just be the way you are
And have a little bit more faith in yourself
Most importantly, thank you for coming into my life
And staying with me
Through good and bad times
Because that's what friendship is all about
Poem dedicated to Rahul, a close friend of mine; who used to be my neighbour in Chennai earlier.
Ashwin Kumar Jan 2023
Does expectation ever stop?
When you are at school
You are expected to get good marks
In all the subjects
Your life is decided
By your ability to memorise things
You are compared with others
Your cousins, your neighbours
Your friends, your classmates
All the time
You, as an individual
Are reduced to a mere shadow

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are at college
You are expected to achieve a high CGPA
Never mind the fact
That not getting arrears
Is practically an achievement
Especially as far as engineering is concerned
And if you happen to fail
People speak in whispers or hushed voices
When referring to you
And when you graduate
But fail to land a placement
You are seen as "that jobless guy"
And your character traits, whether good or bad
Turn out to be immaterial
In the mad race for status

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are a working professional
You are constantly asked about your salary
And it is compared
With that of every frigging relation of yours
Whether close or distant
Not to mention, neighbours
And their families as well

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are single
People constantly bring up marriage
As though it is something
That any decent human being must go through
And when you are married
Your wife also becomes a victim
Of all these crazy expectations
And you, as a couple
Are also compared to other couples

Does expectation ever stop?
When you get divorced
People keep poking and prying
Until they finally manage to extract from you
All the juicy details
But these vultures don't stop at that
They also want to know
When will your next marriage be
Your freedom means absolutely nothing to them

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are overweight
You are constantly advised
To go to the gym
Go for morning or evening walks
And again you are compared
With everyone who is slimmer than you
In the entire neighbourhood

Does expectation ever stop?
Being a good person is not enough
Having a good job is not enough
Earning a decent salary is not enough
Having a good family is not enough
In fact, nothing is ever enough
You practically need to become God
In order to satisfy the expectations
Of our ultra-greedy society
A society that never stops expecting
Until you are dead
Seriously, does expectation ever stop?
A rant about our Indian society that never stops expecting things from all and sundry!!
Ashwin Kumar Jan 2023
Failure hurts, no doubt
Especially when you are in Recruitment
A profession which depends on people
As much as India used to depend on Sachin Tendulkar
In the late nineties
But you know what hurts more than failure?
Imagine a T20 match
Where your team has dominated
From start to finish
And still managed to end up on the losing side
Due to a couple of bad *****
From your best bowler
In the very last over
Now, apply the same analogy to Recruitment
You have put your heart and soul
Into a particular mandate
Done a thorough search, through various portals
Called up as many candidates as possible
Presented quality profiles to the client
And lined up interviews one after the other
Everything has been worked out
To the tiniest detail
However, at the eleventh hour
The candidate backs out
Thus, you have no choice
But to start all over again
And this happens not once
Not twice
Not even thrice
But a frigging four times
However, you are no ordinary recruiter
You are a recruiter who possesses the heart of a lion
Thus, you prepare yourself for the long haul
Determined to do whatever it takes
To close this mandate, once and for all
And your efforts do pay off
Or at least, they seem to
For the client, it is a choice
Between two worthy candidates
However, as always, there is a hitch
One of the candidates has started showing signs of cold feet
While the other has to take a pay cut
That too a big one
This mandate now hangs on a knife-edge
So, it is not failure that hurts the most
But coming within an inch of success
After months of hard work
Only to have it slip through your fingers
At the very last minute
Poem about the hurt and disappointment of coming close to closures in Recruitment and then backouts happening at the last minute
Ashwin Kumar Dec 2022
You wanted me to be your brother
To be a part of your extended family
I believed you
Since you seemed sincere enough
And got along well with most people
Thanks to your lively nature
And the dedication you seemed to show
As far as your work was concerned
I was in awe
Of the way you managed your life
Juggling work and studies every single day
And yet managing to keep a smile on your face
I should have got an inkling
That there was something amiss
However, thanks to my ignorance
Induced by my autism
And because you played your part so well
I never got to see your true colours
Until it was almost too late

You wanted me to be your brother
And I was indeed a good brother
I was always there for you
But never did I imagine
That you would take advantage of me
In such a callous and audacious manner
When you had that rather painful shoe bite
I took care of you
Even though my other colleagues advised me against it
But you were never truly grateful
In fact, you kept your distance
And came up with a silly sob story
To prevent me from interacting with you at office
I should have realised by then
What kind of a person you really were
Then again, I was woefully naive
And only wanted you to be happy
Even if it killed me from inside

You wanted me to be your brother
Well, I did my part
But you never did yours
When I first started helping you financially
I was doing it because I truly cared about you
And had a strong belief
That you would repay your dues eventually
Once again, like always
I was horribly wrong
You came up with story after story
And I kept believing you
Thanks to my incredibly credulous nature
And thus ended up draining my own bank balance

You wanted me to be your brother
Except that, instead of being your brother
I ended up being your sugar daddy
But then, like my mother said later
I was in a trance
And thus became your ATM
I have to admit, though
That you were a really good actress
Modulating your voice
To a mere shadow of what it usually would be
In order to induce me to believe
That you were suffering from blood infection
Just one out of hundreds of lies
That came out of your pathetic mouth

You wanted me to be your brother
Except that a true sister does not lie or cheat
That too, not once
Not twice
Not even thrice
But a thousand times
You have absolutely no idea
How you've ruined my life
And brought distress to my family
As well as a very close friend of mine
Through your utterly despicable actions

You wanted me to be your brother
And it was the biggest mistake of my life
To take you seriously
You even had the nerve
To make me travel for 16 km
In the hot sun
Right in the middle of summer
In order to meet you
Just so that I could keep trusting you
Or rather, keep getting fooled by your lies and half-truths

You wanted me to be your brother
But you lied to me all the time
And cheated me of my entire savings
After all that you've done
You still have the nerve
To beg for my sympathy
You are a disgrace to women
In fact, a disgrace to the entire human race
Even ISIS is far more worth sympathising with
Than you will ever be!!
Well, I would have ideally wanted you to suffer
In the most painful manner possible
But I need you to return all that you took
I don't care how you do it
Do it, and we can go our own separate ways
I can forget that you exist, and vice-versa
But until you do it
I will always be your biggest nightmare
In this entire planet
When I am good, I am very good
But when I am bad, I am the worst
So, you had better watch out
My so-called sister
Poem dedicated to a Gujarati girl who used to be my ex-colleague and has cheated me out of my entire savings under the garb of a sister
Ashwin Kumar Dec 2022
How would I like to be loved?
It is a very difficult question
Because, though I appear, at first glance
To be "The Guy Next Door"
The reality, I assure you, is entirely different
Firstly, every individual is different
Secondly, I am autistic
And finally
There is so much about me
That you will get to know
Only if you are a good friend of mine

How would I like to be loved?
Well, let me tell you
Love is not all about candlelight dinners
Nor is it about *** in the bedroom
It is about being there for each other
No matter what
If I truly love someone
I would be ready to go to jail for her
Of course, not if it is for something ethically wrong
But you get the idea

How would I like to be loved?
If you have seen the Tamil movie "Thiruchitrambalam"
Then you would understand
If I were to say
That I want someone to love me
The way Nithya Menen loved Dhanush
In that amazing movie

How would I like to be loved?
If you've seen me at my worst
One of those days
When I am in one of my rages
And keep shouting and breaking things
Or I lose my focus at work
Due to all my insecurities
Rearing their ugly heads
Or I simply drown myself in my thoughts
Refusing to come out of my bed
Or I cry like a child
Drowning myself in a tidal wave of self-pity
And you still love me the same
As you did when I was at my best
Then it is indeed true love
Enough said

How would I like to be loved?
When I hear one of Harris Jayaraj's romantic melodies
And can instantly relate to it
I know that I am in love
And that love is real, not reel

How would I like to be loved?
If you ask me how was my day
And I go on and on
Droning about the technicalities of my work
Or cribbing about various issues
Such as candidates, clients or my boss
And you never tire of listening to me
Then I know you are truly in love
Also, if I keep asking you how was your day
Every single day after work
And you never once tire of answering such a mundane question
If that is not true love
I don't know what is!
And on that note
It's time to wrap up this little monologue
And return to hard reality
Self-explanatory!!
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