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A poor craftsman blames his tools, though
a wealthy craftsman can afford good ones.
Read 'twixt the lines, iffin' you will.
Crazy* is nearly always a prerequisite for *Fascinating
That isn't to say that all crazy is desirable, nor that all fascinations are insane.
"Finding Oneself" is either an excuse or a delusion;
an outright lie to Oneself as well as others.
One does not find Oneself; One creates Oneself.

The Creation process is abstract and arduous.
Some create better with others; others, better alone.
It is it's own reward; suffer it with a smile.
If you cheat in terms of personal growth,
you cheat yourself and those around you.
No deviation from the norm
means
no venture into new territory
When Dissent becomes illegal,
the Law becomes inhumane.

As Dissent is criminalized,
Democracy becomes a crime.

As peaceful protest
is met with violence,
Democracy will die theatrically
behind closed doors.
Since when does the Law
protect the corrupt
from the Masses?

I suppose we call that duration "history."

Recording:
https://soundcloud.com/apexparadigm/criminalization-of-dissent
Crimson Wine
in transparent glass
on White Porcelain;
inspires me to see
Crimson Blood
in transparent Water
on White Porcelain;

Blood is a thing of which I feel unworthy.

For now, I'll just drink the Wine
and leave the Blood for some other time
and while sipping on these grapes so divine
reassure myself that everything's just ******* fine.

Or, at least, it will be..
eventually..
I hope..
if not,

there's always the option of
Crimson on White
Critical thinking is a gateway drug.
I got cheated on
and so, get no more ***.

My lover got some on the side,
so now, I get none at all;

What cruel ****** irony is this?
*******, Universe!
Intended to be facetious, but it's still ******* frustrating.
Out of **** again? ****!
If only I could buy it at the store
like I can Alcohol, Amphetamines or Cry1Ab!
Cry1Ab is Cytotoxen;
a toxen which detraments individual cells.

It is a bacteria which runs rampant upon GMO crops such as cotton and corn.
Do some ******* research:
http://www.qwmagazine.com/2012/06/14/brazilian-farmers-win-2-billion-judgment-against-monsanto/
Don't pretend to be knowledgeable
about that which you do not understand.

It's really annoying
and it's akin to misinformation.

Plus, anyone who knows a **** thing can see through your *******-
and you can't ******* a bullshitter.
Crying doesn't mean you're weak,
but it also doesn't tend to solve problems.
Though, it does help to clear One's head
so One can take One's problems head-on.
The cardinal difference between a group and a cult
seems to be the discrepancy of knowledge (and, furthermore, intention)
between the higher-ups and those down below.

But, the problem looms
that by this definition;

.
..
..!
oh, ****!
..!!!
We need to do something!
Why do we feel so compelled
to stratify ourselves above the natural World?

What it is that justifies
our Cult of Humanity?

Do we seriously believe
that our gradient of experience
is so much wider and more rich
than are those of dogs, or cats,
or fish, or bats, or lice, or ants,
or spiders, or birds, or trees, or flowers?

Wherefrom do we think
the notions of faeries, nymphs, sprites, and our Gods arose,
if not for the Natural world
as well as the traits of our psychology
made anthropomorphic?

Who are we
to suppose such things
just because we are us:
be this not the same sort of exclusionary cultism
whence are born sexism and racism
and ethnocentrism?

Anthropocentrism?

Who are we to belittle
any one thing on this God-given plane of Reality?

Are we really that caught up in ourselves
that we forget whence we've come?

All is but Energy
All merely is.
We are a part of that,
as it is a part of us.

All
is a holistic system
not a stratified hierarchy of experience:
that concept is artificial.

Is it so hard for us to see?
Is it so difficult for us to be humble about this?
Is it such a blow to our such delicate psyches
that we cannot concede such universal harmony?

Or is it that it is beneficial for some
for the many to remain deaf and blind
to this wonderful, liberating truth?

I think we all know the answer,
we just forget to look for it
and if we find it,
we become too distracted to embody it.

I know we're better than that.
I know we know better.

Do you?
There is no greater Cure
for Faith in Humanity
than Humanity itself.
and perhaps the news;
but that's a subset.
A weapon of the imagination;
the largest enemy of ignorance.

Therefore, it must be stopped.
"The unexamined Life is not worth living."
-Socrates
One of the symptoms of a ****** up Society
is when the worst part about the Death of a Parent is all the ******* paperwork.
Shuffled Deck; the first Card:

XVI: The Tower
"Now, that's foreboding."

Destruction of a thing familiar,
a thing tactfully constructed
a thing that's held dear;
Oh dear.


The second card:

Page of Pentacles
"Time for something new."

Enthusiastic exploration;
skillful, practical, and imaginative
a new approach to things;
beginning anew.


The third card:

Queen of Swords
"Don't mind the Sword."

*Nurturing of new ideas;
honest, beautiful, intelligent and true
she always carries her sword,
that she may smite Betrayal.
First reading I've done with my new Steampunk Tarot deck.
So far so.. mythic?
Shuffled deck; fetch me three of Seventy-Eight cards.
First:

Queen of Swords
"This fine Sword of honest metal
is a more true an Ally
than many of Flesh indeed prove to be."

Much like Athena,
The Queen of Swords
is symbolic of progress;
always keen on new ideas;
though she is not One to leave herself defenseless,
her faithful Sword stands
always by her side.


Second of the three,
of the still Seventy-Seven:

Two of Swords
"Distracted by conflict
'twixt Heart and Mind,
I hold two Swords and bide my Time."

Two of Swords
stands between Moon and Water;
the Shadow and the Subconscious
the darkness and the unknown.

The Two of Swords
is blindfolded
and in her blissful ignorance
maintains her precarious balance,
for now.


The third of three random cards;
leaving Seventy-Five unturned:

Knight of Swords
"Feast your eyes upon this, my plan;
I wager thou hath, in all thy wretched days,
ne'er so beauteous a thing beheld!"

The Knight of Swords
is a keen poet and a fine musician;
though perhaps not romantically.

She dabbles for the sake of the intellect,
and seeks that those things be playthings thereof.
She is symbolic of progress through new ideas
and of the eloquence of a well-laid plan.

Being of the House of Swords,
she revels in the stimulation of intellect
and the effective use of wisdom.
She usually yields only to herself
and marches to the beat of her own convictions,
all the while
keeping her eyes
on the prize.

-
All of these Cards
are of the House of Swords.
There's about a 1 in 166 chance
of getting 3 of the 14 Swords
out of a random deck of 78 cards.

I got the Queen of Swords as my third card last time
and the first card this time;
There's 1 in approximately 676 chance
of getting the same card
in two consecutive sets of three cards
from a random 78 card deck.

(im)Probabilities aside:

The Suit of Swords is generally associated with:
one's ways of thinking, systems, ideas, and communication.

It has much to do with
what we chose to do with our Minds
and it also is symbolic of the power of
the stories we tell ourselves and each other.

The Swords are indeed double-edged in Tarot.

It has to do with the power of information
and with that comes delusion,
and, inexorably,
paradox.

Patterns do exist, however.
Upon these patterns
foundations may be built,
the same is true within myself;
I can choose to use all these Swords
to cut through this cage of Shadow
and set free the Light once more
rather than allowing myself
to myself fall victim to the Swords
through inaction or misuse
though only if I tread lightly
and thoughtfully
and proceed with tact;
that much is clear.

Sword is the sign of Air;
perhaps the message here is simply
"Remember to breathe."
Second reading I've bothered to share and explicate on.

First is found here: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/dabbling-in-divination-tarot/

All three cards were of the house of Swords, which is sort of an omen of intellectual conflict within one's self. It can also be indicative of an imminent change that may take a minute to get one's head around. Whatever the case, it has been insightful for me, and I hope it has been at least interesting to you, as a reader!

PS:
Yes, I used my calculator to get those stats.
Basic probability and graphing calculators are wonderful things!

78 cards:
21 major
56 minor
in 4 suits
with 14 each,
drawing 3 cards
1 at a time;
interesting numbers arise.
I beseech of thee, deck of Seventy-Eight,
perhaps some insight, or at least a "Gee ****!"
First of three:
Five of Pentacles

Secondly:
Page of Wands

And, to conclude:
The Fool

My gut feeling:
**** yeah.
~~
I shall explicate later;
at present, I must prepare for a gig in Folsom. :D
Most occurrences
are innocuous enough
to provide a sort-of
false sense of security
such that,
when those other occurrences;
those, which send forth poison daggers
into the hearts of the otherwise Joyous;
rend in twain the velvet fabric of Comfort.

Take heed that the fleeting Comfort
doth indeed not lead to arrogance and entitlement;
for everything is permitted
on some fundamental level;
nothing is granted
in this Life.

Respect what you get
Respect what you lose
Respect what is
Respect what was
Respect what will be
Each and every day,
do something
to make your future Self
a better person.
To all my readers:
I extend to y'all
a most sincere and genuine "thank you."

I'm happy my quirks
are met with such warmth.
Don't forget to give thanks;
not just today
but each moment of your life.

I can't say that I've remembered
but I can say that I've learned;
I can say that I've progressed
I can say:
"Thanks"
Title: "Thanks be" auf Deutsch.

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/a-short-list-of-things-for-which-i-give-thanks/

That link is an older poem
in which is listed
a short list of things
for which I give thanks.
Given my very own
matrices of philosophy
'pon the very topic of Authority,
why should it be
outlandish
for me to claim
to have an inkling
of understanding
as to how it is
that my Dog, perchance,
may feel?

For,
I am sure,
were I in her situation,
and indeed I could,
I would be thinking:

"I find myself disinclined to obey thee,
for, if thou art in such need of a leash,
then, likely, ye don't deserve me
to be thy loyal follower.

Though, Food-man,
were thee to lend me thy trust,
were thee to unleash me,
I may begin to respect thee
and therefore
lend thee some justified Authority
and thereby
may my loyal Allegiance be with thee."

Such teachers can animal companions be,
if only we are to allow ourselves to learn.
Inspired on a walk with my adorable dog Daphne. If only I trusted her more! She doth loath that leash.
The truest of things
need not to be written,
nor do those things
need to be said;

however, it can do some good
to openly acknowledge them,
for we all seem to get rather lost
within our own heads.
Science and Religion are imperfect institutions;
we can neither perceive nor understand most of what goes on.
And yet, life goes on.
It's not enough to feel;
you've got to suffer
to really appreciate it.

That's the dark joke of Life.
Overtake it or be overtaken.
Laugh with it or be laughed at.
Or, most likely, both.
Das Mädel ist so scheissverwöhnt
denn sie kriegt ihr geliebtes Augenmerk,
doch würd' sie davon nichts mehr krieg'n
ob nicht für ihre Muschi und ****.
Ich schätze das heißt sie hat Glück.

Die Frau ist ja so scheissverwöhnt
und sie wisst sie sieht gut aus.
Sie wisst g'rade was sie damit kriegen kann
doch nur wenn man vergeltet.
Ich schätze das heißt sie hat Glück.

Die Dirne ist so scheissverwöhnt,
ein Opfer ihres Schattens;
es hängt nur von wie viel mehr Zeit
bevor er ihr ganz und gar frisst.
Ich schätze das heißt sie hat Glück.

Das Schlampe ist ja so scheissverwöhnt
denn sie kriegt das geliebte Augenmerk,
doch würd' sie davon nichts mehr krieg'n
ob nicht für ihre Muschi und ****.
Ich schätze das heißt sie hat Glück.
Das Mädel ist so scheissverwöhnt - The Girl is so ******* spoiled.
Ich schätze das heißt sie hat Glück. - I guess that means she gets/is lucky.

Not about any real person;
it's about a fictional character of mine.
A Girl in a dream of mine, whose name and face I cannot recall.
I do, however, remember how she made me feel. A result of that feeling is this poem.

Translation available upon request:
I must forewarn; it is rather ******.
You could just copy it into Google Translate, but if you do, you'll understand how it felt for me to grade the homework of the cute little German 1 kids who did the same thing in the other direction.
Plus, Google Translate is oblivious to puns and other innuendo.
It must be that time of night:
the birds are chirping again.
Such
beauty.
Light through leaves.
Shadows of branches.
So sublime.
Water.
Peace.
Another poem that uses the Fibonacci sequence for syllables.. 1, 2, 3, 5, 3, 2, 1.
Effortlessly the great life-giver dismantles the frozen tranquility of the Night.
First, the immaculate tears the blue-black curtain to reveal the crimson scars of daybreak.
Soon after, her warming touch reaches the frosty moss on the trees: vapor arises.
Seeming to defy gravity, her disk of pure selflessness rises in the sky,
peeling yet further back the veil of darkness.
Her oranges,
then pinks,
then finally hues of soft blue
stretch ahead of her, as if to warn us of her impending, unbiased gaze.

She keeps us and our friends warm
just as she does the same for our enemies.
She doesn't care who you are, where you're from, what you believe,
whom you love, nor what you do at home when you think you're alone.
She just gives all of us, each day, every one of us
unbiased, unconditional, relatively unending
sustenance.
This poem is from over a year ago, I just decided I oughtta upload and share it.
I'd ask thy forgiveness,
but I know thy disbelief of blame.

Though thy terrors be great,
thy bounty is much the same.

Thy systems be wiser
than many can fathom,
and for their presence,
I thank thee.

We have loved you,
respected you,
revered you;
but, then
we also
***** you,
plundered you
and forsook you.

Though we inherit thy Eden,
we voracious inhabitants
squander and profligate thy lush resources
in the name of mere money-
in the name of ourselves;
yet, I dare to reckon
better is deserved by thee,
o Mother Earth.

I hope we can eventually become thy apt sentinels.
I have been honored to be in thy presence.
Thank you for thy selflessness.

I am ashamed on behalf of my kind,
but I know you understand that we're still young.
We'll come around one of these days,
or, if not, I know we'll inherit thy wrath, as well.

If such be the case:
so be it.
I wish it won't come to that,
but, if it does,
at least some of us will surely understand.
Death makes my palms all sweaty.
Learning to play "Flesh, and the Power it Holds" by the band Death;
"Death is some bonkers ****." -A friend of mine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgx3sp_hTJw
Death
is in the eye of the Beholder.
A sudden crescendo of dizziness,
no- more like a huge head rush;
Face goes numb.
Legs feel weak,
hands appear to be miles away,
cold sweat. Can't focus.
Unable to breathe comfortably.
Do I even still have a pulse?
Am I dreaming?

Everything starts slipping into Void;

Everything blurs together, slows down, echos...
first motions, then colors, finally sounds
and then there's the overwhelming urge the sleep.
To close my eyes and just let it all go.
To drift off.. as if downstream..
down the river of experience.

I fitfully try to think to myself:
is this how it feels to die?
Am I dying? Am I already dead?
Am I dreaming?
Have I been my whole life?
Am I waking up?

The calmest panic I've ever known:

I willingly let go
and slip downstream into nothingness,
but I keep snapping out of it;
So far, anyway.

Maybe my purpose is yet incomplete;
maybe I'm taking it too personally
maybe I'm just lucky,
or maybe I'm insane.

In any case,
Death can be such a tease.
"What if I'm dying?"
"You are; live it up."
Somewhat inspired by Chance Page's recent series of dialogues.
I've always much preferred an inner dialogue to an inner monologue. It's much more stimulating, I find.
Hell
is a metaphor
for a nightmare
from which One cannot awaken.

Live
a good life
as a decent person
and thy Dream at Life's end
shall be a pleasant and well-earned one.
I think it's sorta funny
how when you pay with *plastic

they ask you:  "Debit, or credit?";
because,
as denoted in a dictionary,
they are polar opposites;
yet,
as connotated in popular culture,
they differ
only in the time it takes
to be charged,
that is to say
to incur a loss.

So,
in certain ways,
it can be said one is wiser
to chose "debit";
which, I find, deeply ironic:

In our culture
One
gets to choose
either debit
or credit;
and,
in our culture,
One
can be wiser
to choose
debit.

This, and more, withstanding;
I tend to try to use cash.
A debit is to incur a loss,
A credit is to incur a gain.

Dictionary is credit to team!
How have we come to need to pay for expression?
Perhaps because we get harassed and reprimanded by people we hold to be 'respectable'
(authority, parents, teachers, etc.)
when we're young for being wholly expressive
and so many people stuff it.

Then, those who don't stuff it seem somehow special or illogical for choosing not to stuff it.
Then, they're exploited by our glorious system to hand over the "rights" to sell the expression.

How do they expect to sell people that which originates from ourselves?
To sell people salvation from that which doesn't exist?
To sell them what they don't need?
To sell beauty? Happiness? Expression? Education?
In a word:
DECEPTION.
A good
spur-of-the-moment Decision
all too oft turns out better
than oh so many more
made with far too much deliberation.
Trust your instincts,
but don't rule out that you could be wrong.
"Deep fried soda is a redneck-*** Crème brûlée"
A Genius is One who can figure out Patterns;
A Prodigy is One who doesn't need to.
I have no style,
I have technique.

I theorize restrictions,
and then I restrict myself
from such restrictions.

Moderation
in all things,
especially applied
to moderation.

I suppose,
then,
that my ideas
acted out
carried out
through action
become the very
style
I disown.

Who am I to say?
All I can do
is define,
but even then,
is that even
anything?

Curiouser and curiouser,
my dear Self.
Ancient Athens
demonstrated a demise of democracy into despair and squalor
at the hands of the voters.

Ancient Rome
recounts a reduction of a Republic into nationalist rancor
at the hands of the state.

The United States of America
is a sort-of culmination of both;
of how a Democratic Republic may fail,
impoverishing and subjugating it's own
as well as it's proximity,
reducing itself and any it can drag with it
from a respectful idealization of Human Experience
to a bloodthirsty, greedy, vapid shell
of Fascisms past.
Patriot enough to wish for something more,
realistic enough to know that 'patri' means "father."

Read 'twixt the lines.
Taunt the unkind with kindness.

Refuse to play the same game as them.

Teach them by counter example
should they be willing to learn.

They can't take it.
It conflicts them.

Demons cannot stand confusion.

Quite like a migraine,
it destroys them from within
unlike mere hatred could ever dare.
One of the great joys of Life
is doing what One is told can't be done-
thinking about what One is told not to-

I enjoy finding out first-hand
what's up with our reservations
then scrutinizing rationalizations.

I, for one,
refuse to respect mere appeals to authority
without some sort of prerequisite validation:

For far too long
have we gone along with being told
we must hold such toxic philosophies
so very close to our Hearts and Souls
by what is eventually revealed to be
rather disingenuous authority.

"If your Spirit feels a little sick,
just keep suffering through it:
that means it's working.
That's how it's been set up.

If you can't stomach it,
we made these pills for that.
Though, they'll cost you.
The price One pays for biochemical placification is steep.

Side-effects include but are by no means limited to:
a loss of health, wealth and even parts of your Self;
but please don't worry. It's for the greater good..
Don't you want to be under control?
After all, it is all you've ever known,"


quoth the Infallible
as they **** People dry
even in broad daylight-
body, mind, and bank account-
for their own economic, political, and social sustenance.

What is that if not a form of a form of vampirism?
The infected bites on our necks are metaphysical.

Demons in Prophetic clothing,
but I guess they dress for success.


-
See,
I try to look for Light
where others say there's only Darkness,
but I also see Darkness
where others see only Light.

Interpreting Adversity as Opportunity
works wonders for creative problem solving;
learn how to entice your Imagination.
It will pursue things on it's own if you let it.

Your intellect will thank you for the playmate.
A bit all over the place, but hey.
Turned into more of a rant than I was planning, but that's life.

This is not an attack on Religion or Medicine,
but merely a finger pointed at corruption that taints the sanctity of these and other aspects of modern western society as they are commonly instituted.
"Stop ******* over every group on Earth
and perhaps fewer will seek to exact revenge."
Funny how that works.
Each of us is a character
the quality of which
is a measure of how genuine One is
to One's own character
and how recpectful One is to that of others.

Another major factor
is whether or not One's character grows and develops
and if so, how quickly in what direction(s)
and in what relation to One's environment.

The same seems true on
individual, group, cultural or global scales
and probably well beyond.
One is
the protagonist
as well as
the antagonist
in One's own Life story.

To deny this is cowardly
and narcissistic
at best
Und dachte ich bei mir:
"Was ist dieser Duft?
Woher kommt er?
Wieviel kostete der?

Ah, mein Freund,
du riechst sehr
nach Anmaßung!

Wie heißt dieses Parfum?

Oh, jetzt sehe ich;
es heisst dein Ego."
And I thought to myself:
"What is that scent?
Where is it coming from?
How much did that cost?

Ah, my Friend,
you smell strongly
of Arrogance!

What is that perfume called?

Oh, now I see;
it's called your Ego."
Putting others down,
is a defense mechanism
for the inferior psyche
of the lesser person:

If One can put others down
so as to appear higher than them,
One mustn't exert any effort
to elevate One's Self.
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