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Angelica Liu Dec 2019
winter's virginity                
losing to Spring 's eagerness                  
seasons cycle on    

dead cicadas,                
mail from the eternity:                
Summer is closing  

crunchy leaves underfoot              
golden biscuits, freshly baked              
oh, crispy Autumn

a leaf shivers in wind                    
giving away her secret desire          
to leave in Winter
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Sitting in the back of a black Honda Accord,
we were taking a ride across my city.
We saw jungles of skyscrapers passing by;
We saw a red flyover illuminant ahead,
like a real artery filled with blood.
A civilized city! You marveled.
and I smiled a smile you couldn't see,
cause we were sitting side by side.
Side by side, soul by soul,
Across the city we were taking a ride
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
We consume excitement too easily
as if it is a carbon-free elixir
or a solo ******
or a firework
too jubilant
too short
not to  fill a hunger
but to leave-
a hangover
a vertigo
a fall
that makes the rest
of our life
an itching
and long
wait
It began with--
a dumb pain, as if
a nip in heart
and then--
a silent scream, as if 
a struggle underwater
and then--
a static breakdown, as if
a dying without witness

and life just passed on,
obliviously
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Even
the most modest tree  
is more beautiful
than the grandest
man-made structure

for no one can determine
how its limbs twist and turn
how its leaves hum and sing
a beauty same as our own
a certain destiny,
unfettered pathways

Each tree is marvelous, as
a palace of uncertainty
with every passageway
winding up to Sky
not a calculated trajectory  
but a path as wave --
a song, or a flowing stream

as if from earth to heaven
by choosing from infinite possibilities
it gives rise to beauty and form
& creates the reality of its own
Angelica Liu Jan 6
oh, my Lady Wind
were you thinking of someone
when you wiped Sky's windscreen today?
your scattered thoughts were carelessly left
across his clear and clean window  
a slash here, a sweep there
like fresh heartaches
slowly and softly
pulsing...
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
They were once an innocent green
like seeds of other plants
small in size but big enough
to contain the wholeness of nature
tropical sunshine
fragrant soil
high-land breezes
but as the chosen ones
they are picked, washed, roasted
reborn in human civilization
In the hands of coffee makers
they complete a magic transformation
by bringing the chaotic unconscious of nature
into the human world ----
bright acidity
sun-dried aromas  
fruit flavors  
undertones of wine
as if the infinite wholeness of nature
falls into our coffee cups
trapped in the wondrous dark liquid
pressed into the narrowness
of human consciousness  
and explodes in us
an elixir almost
too strong for human bodies
unleashing a flood of energy that
tells us that…

we are more than we know
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
I walk into a crowd
as a raindrop falls on a pond
my shape becomes obscured
and my name lost to the cloud

Bump into laughter here and there
Make my way through gaiety or grief
I'm floated by their buoyancy
a silent thought cross mindless noise

I walk across the crowd
as a raindrop returns to the cloud
the weightless part ends up rising
while the heavy one always descends

again and again
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
I never travel afar
as a little stone lying alone
at the bottom of the bottom of waterflow
the current of life carves my bone
year after year, day by day
stripes ripen and lines grow
I became me, and no other stone

I never travel afar
but the world finds her way to me
she writes me poems on floating leaves
she sends breezes to ripple my dreams
year after year, day by day
a window opens, an epiphany dawns
I am an acorn, and not a stone

A little sunlight, a little soil  
rise up and grow to the sky
befriend the bird, kiss the wind
my journey starts and I have no fear
wherever it takes me to, that--
shall be my promised land

I will travel afar...
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Sink
       Sink
                 Sink
my soul is
     ****** down
          to the bottom of
               a bottomless dream
but lifted up
    by a hard black sofa
floating
              oh~
a little boat floating
          on the surface of
              people's low whispers
while music ---
     a brisk piece of piano solo
            dances across my face
                   like
                  a Hawaiian breeze
I spend a lot of time at Starbucks. My friends joked that Starbucks is my office. I work there, meet people there, read and write there, and take a nap there sometimes...
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Night--
a desert so vast
no end is in sight
all I have is myself
to cross it --
with no one at my side

Abandoned and tired
as a snail without a shell
as a butterfly without wings
waiting lost and alone --
dear dream,
how long till you come
and pick me up from here?
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
You always said
there may be other possibilities.
our encounter depends on earlier choices.

You always said
there must be some great purpose
in our coming together.

But I don’t agree--

love is reunion
rather than an encounter
and our love itself IS the great purpose!
Love itself is the great purpose, because there is a question all of us will confront one day, when we are standing at the borderline of two realities: "Are you ready to be back, with faith in love?"
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Strange
We love each other but
We never need to fall in love
We talk to each other but
We never have to use the words
We travel in our separate ways but
Different routes bring us together
We have been prepared for this moment
when we see each other and say
Hi, you are here...

There is no beginning
and there is no end
Our love is about:
A missing half found
A hidden purpose discovered
Your molecules, my molecules
Your soul, my soul
Intertwined and entangled
to the rhythm of Universe
We are as whole as an atom
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
It must have been long
since I was stranded here
for the dusk too dense to hold
and the coffee too cold to drink

A book at hand, pages turned
as if I am an intruder
into reading of another me
by waking up, in this empty cafe

A feeling of deja vu
I've been here before, yes
it's the sidewalk I pass by every day
but in that world, I never see a cafe there

Dusk lapses into night
a streetlamp lits up overhead
little flying bugs drop on my lap
Time to go, I rise to leave

Startled, I pause halfway
fallen leaves pile up at the corner
just as I saw them in the day
someone swept them into a lovely cone

but with a closer look, I find
instead of autumn leaves
they are red lobsters
stacked high into a small hill  

as red,      
as flaming flames
A friend of mine told me of Dali's Lobster telephone and I searched for the picture online but there are differences between his lobster and those in my dream, In my dream they are as small as fallen leaves and as red as flames. A conical hill of Red lobsters, as I would interpret, is a very surrealistic symbol of artistic creativity. That's why I love this dream
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
My body has a shape
When it is pressed against you
My body finds its shape
like half a map meets its other self

Your desire has a shape
When it is covered in my palm
Your desire finds its shape
like a bird coming back to its nest

Our love has a shape
When we hold each other on a strange bed
Our love finds its shape
Like a lost memory finds its way home
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Can you be quiet? World
(I beg you...)
when I'm writing a poem
(or reading, or thinking...)
can you just hold a minute
before knocking at my door?
Because I am waiting for
a beautiful voice from Heaven
to drop into my earthly bowl
She is vigilant and shy
(like a wild creature in jungle )
so talented at evading me
but, Shh... (I promise)
once I capture her
I will turn back to you
and serve your needs
As I always do
Sylvia Plath wrote this sentence when she was 15 years old: I write because there is a voice within me that will not be still."  I believe each one of us on HP has the problem with this voice, that's why we cannot help but keep writing...
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
I know life has ups and downs,
Swings from high to low,
but
now
I feel stuck in limbo
Hung in midair like a pendulum
That has lost its momentum
Struggling against a dark desire
To crash to the ground.

Swarms of annoying thoughts
Hum around and around
Like flies you can’t wave off
Thoughts

That
Make me feel like ****
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Some days are faceless
Like reticent shadows
of their buoyant sisters
Infertility in the air
Giving no sight of
A fruit of possibilities
some days are just emptiness
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
The city is strangely grey            
as though seen through color filter                      
that adds apocalyptic tone to everything ---                        
stern architectures on sides of the street                        
vehicles that make road silently busy                          
I walk a while                          
and then pause at a taxi stop                                  
People slowly gather around me                  
like a flock of black crows            
huddling on withered winter branches                      
Anxiety begins to pile up while I wait              
hopelessly                    
for a cab to pull over                        
and take me back to my own reality                          
A block away                          
next to the street bistro                          
a misty harbor stretches                            
in the face of an ocean        
where vast expanse of nihility        
takes the place of fathomable water    
                            
A road sign indicates:        
Here is the end of time
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
It would have been a usual night
If I hadn't raised my eyes
and glanced at the sky.
It was as though
surprisingly
that this
was
my first intimate encounter with the moon

She
had just
passed her
prime of maturity
and her fullness has just
began to wane, like a luminous bun
of an ancient beauty, rounded and heavy,
gently nestling on the impeccable
nape of the neck of the lady
whose face is always
hidden

I
paused
transfixed
at the sight of her
so close, as if one step
forward would make me an intruder
into the secluded boudoir of her solitude.
My world is a battlefield, burned and smoky
while hers is quiet, clean and immutable
as though one day of hers is
a thousand years
of mine

Why
do you
never turn around
and disclose the truth
of your beauty to the earth?
The whole silence of the night sky
speaks to the mystery of your silhouette  
Oh, my lady, you are too far for my reach,
yet so close at the same time
that you can shine into
the deepest layer
of my mortality

as if,
your world
is superimposed on mine
nature
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Silent music
Fizzy sparkles
buds of kisses
ready to burst
I could feel my body
as bent as a bow
and as stretched as a string
melodies flew out
as natural as milk and honey
To an unstoppable rhythm
we slowly rocked...
the rhythm of love.
When I am in love, my body feels a natural and compelling rhythm(sweet and slow) to which I can't help rocking... Have you ever had that feeling?
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Wheels spinning
Highway unfurls
Time is climbing
On the golden tail of Summer
Not as fragments of moments
One after another
But the smooth curve of waves
Gliding with tunes on the radio
The road extends on and on
As vehicles chase one another⁠—
Large and small, tens of thousands
A migration of wildlife
Racing to the horizon
A river is running aside
Out of the window, in a distance
Flowing high to my waist
Sky hangs low ahead
Sun is shepherding
A grazing herd of lazy clouds
At the end of the endless road
A terminal we can never reach
On a summer day, when I was riding on the highway, suddenly I felt a surprising emotional touch ---the human-built world is in such a harmony with the natural world...We are like migrating wildlife, rushing to an unreachable terminal...and the river is just flowing on the side, peacefully.
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Once I encountered a white cat in a dream
I was back in high school--a shy, unconfident girl.
I was sitting at a desk against the wall.
That enchanting creature just appeared from nowhere.
It appeared on my lap, incredibly beautiful and alluring.
In a sluggish manner she stretched out her purely white body.
I was mesmerized by her.
I began to stroke her back the length of her body.
The arch of her back continued through her slender tail.
I could feel her elegant curve under my touch---
An inner pliability wrapped in a boneless softness.

She slowly turned around and looked back at me,
Her soul-to-soul gaze stunned me into a state of awareness,
I must have known her for all time, I thought.

That day, when we were in that hotel room,
I was opening my body to you,
and I stretched out my body to the greatest extent.
I crossed my hands under my head,
I lay on my back and looked at you
Your eyes and hands touring my body
I felt a boundless freedom between us
I never felt so shameless
I only wanted to open myself wider to you,
I only wanted to merge into one with you.
I held your head tightly with my arms.
That was the moment when I felt we were almost one---
To rub my burning face against yours,
To exhale my heavy breath near to your ear,
To deeply breathe in your masculine smell,
To dance with you to the most instinctual rhythm...

And suddenly I knew the white cat I encountered in my dream
The white cat
Was my own soul,
And it was you
Who set her free….
Dream is a language in which we get connected with our soul...
Angelica Liu Nov 2019
A little loneliness    
that is all I want  
But the world is an old TV
it can't be turned off    
pictures fuzzing  
sounds humming    
emotions being tossed about    
Just now I was hit by  
a huge yellow ball of anxiety    
followed by a yell:  
"Come on, throw it back! Be a part!"  
But I didn't want to be a part  
so I did nothing but let it go...  
A little loneliness    
That is all I need    
before I jump into the next moment
conflicts between outside and inside. Sometimes I hope the outer life is a TV set and there is a button to shut it off.
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
A man is waiting
at the entrance of a metro station.
He holds an umbrella in his hand
like a knight holding a sword.  
Every few minutes
the ground vibrates beneath his feet
faint subterranean rumblings
as if the whole station is breathing.
Its blood vessels are deeply buried.
With every contraction of a strong heart
the black blood is pumped out
and diffused to the expanse of a giant body
like a dark flower slowly spreading its petals.
The man counts the breaths of the metro station.
He holds his umbrella as if a sword of glory
a knight ready to fight for his queen.
Then another tide of faces floats out
against thousands of ravaged petals.
A fresh smile blooms for him like a morning daisy
a svelte flame dances closer in his eyes.
The man waits for his love to walk into his arms.
He holds his umbrella in hand
like a knight clutching a bouquet of red roses.
love can transform a mundane place into a  fairy tale setting
Angelica Liu Nov 2019
Twilight and rains followed us here
Daylight and city were left behind
The ancient temple lies in its lonely solemnity
Intruders, we had met the end of our world
Here the opposites meet
The day was meeting the night
The summer was meeting the autumn
The civilized was meeting the primitive
The man was meeting the woman
No one can truly understand happiness
Without having reached here
When opposites finally meet
When two realities mingle one with another
Boundaries give way to freedom
The present flows into the future
While the old temple remains timeless.
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
When you said you loved me
you looked upward
your pale blue eyes  
anchored at a quiet corner
like a ship from
across the glittering ocean
that lay at my harbor
I willingly boarded your ship
and together we sailed
to the distant horizon
Angelica Liu Dec 2019
Rains of Sacramento
Sunshine in Hangzhou
whispers of two cities
on earth's opposite sides
Eventually, people say
lovebirds look alike
that explains why
I love sunshine
you love rain
Angelica Liu Jan 2
My soul is
imprisoned
in this cold
& dense core
that stops
emitting light
Sorrow and pain
have consumed all
i once had
Now i am
nothing
but a process
of contraction
& a floating
dead star
Don't
come near me
i can't offer
but swallow
the light

— The End —