how do i give up something
that makes me happy in all its entirety
how do i know it’s really time to go
when all i do is keep coming back for more

how can i leave a place
that has made me feel safe
how do i say goodbye
to all the great times

God, how do people make these decisions

my heart hasn’t broken again
in more months than i imagined
I haven’t lost control of life
at least haven’t wanted to take the dive

but something does not feel right
there’s a strange feeling in my heart
the kind where you always feel scared
like any minute you’re gonna be scarred

though i still try day by day
to do anything to stay mostly sane
i can’t help but wonder every night
if insanity is truly all that bad

they say when you hit rock bottom
that’s when you’ll finally come up
but what if there is no end
what if you just keep falling down

you portray an image that is religious
& your actions are the opposite of pious
you advise people on the right things
yet disregard it when it’s your own being

what am i to say
i am no saint
i’ve sinned in a lot of ways
and i still have not repented to this day

but it disturbs me a lot
& i cannot push past this thought
that you mess with people’s minds
and act like you are so fine

you can’t just **** around with people
then expect them not to get bitter
you better hope to God they forgive you
so you can peacefully sleep the night through

death, like life
you don’t know for certain
when it will arrive

right smack in the middle
of a place i barely know
there lies my happy smile
the kind i had stopped looking for

& in the end
we couldn’t mend
what we fought so hard to have
it all ends up in death

i was crazy
the night, hazy
you were indecisive
a broken heart, massive