Trust me, I know how it feels
I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower
So no one can hear you
And waiting for everyone to fall asleep
So you can fall apart
For everything to hurt so bad
You just want it all to end
I know exactly how it feels
I don't blame anyone, I did this to myself
Its my fault, everything is my fault
I feel this tiredness that sleep can't fix
And please stop asking if I'm okay
I'm tired of lying
I'm tired of living
I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of coping
I'm tired of hoping
I'm tired of existing
I'm tired of breathing
I'm just done
Because I'm never truly happy
Some days I'm just a little less sad than the rest
When you reach the point of being so sad you're numb
You're going to miss the ability to cry
Because depression is like drowning
And seeing everyone around you breathing
Because depression is not a choice
Its a deep hole you cannot climb out of
Trust me, I know how it feels
To beg God to just take it all away

Am I alone?
Just me and my thoughts?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.
No. Not alone.
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

Do I have friends?
Real friends who can help?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.
Yes. Yes I have friends.
But am I willing?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.
Willing to show this side?
This vulnerable side?
Exposed, like a nerve
open to the elements.
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

Why do I feel like this?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.
Its irrational right?
Yes
Definitely irrational.
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

What time is it?
02:42?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.
Is anyone out there?
Hello?
Why do I feel this alone?
Just me, my brain, and my stupid heart.
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

**** this heart.
**** this lonely heart

Will I find love again?
Or am I doomed to this icy wasteland of loneliness?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

Do I want love?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.
Love makes things worse right?
Worse when it's gone?
Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.
What time is it?
2:44AM?

Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

****....