Like swimming in molasses
trying to ascend
hoping to begin
to get where I want to be

Swimming in molasses,
can’t get there from here
as a robot in first gear
trying to go with the flow

Swimming in molasses
waiting for the gooey
mass to warm
for me to find my way

Swimming in molasses,
Grandma’s Gold Standard all natural kind
dark, black-brown viscid glue
that holds and restricts

I’m swimming in molasses
deliberate, lethargic,
lagging, leaden, swirling toward
the promise that awaits me

in the shade here in southeast Alabama haze
even the red clay melts under your feet,
why we don't wander 'round,
it's quite the same  year after year,
but no one gets used to it all, ever.

The  kittens corn cotton peanuts all seeking a semblance of
shade under old rusty cars or tractors or steel
silos, our skyscrapers here in the wiregrass.

Everyone, scantilly clad as possible, girls in shorts and bras dudes all sweaty bare chests, the corn baking in the heat the cotton awaiting a cooler day to burst out, peanuts hiding underground.

The roads asphalt melting and look far away you see the heat waves
dancing to the sun upon a grey distance, which no one here ever gets to meet, or go to the dance or even approach.

The future is encroaching here though. Most all of us seek cool in what the big cities do. And end up in an air conditioned cell.
addicted to cool.
Or, just something to do?

Even though we are lost to eachother now,
I quite often think of what you did for me and how.
Even though I am all ripe and grown now,
I quite often think of when I was a fragile little boy on your stripped white gown.
I was lone, forgotten, broken and ****** up,
and you taught me that I have knees, that I can stand, run and show the world that I also have a "me"
Even though I am standing now,
I quite often thank you with a thought.
The image, I built for and from you, showed me a path, I am grateful to walk.
I still hold value in our values back then,
even though we've grown over them.
I quite often wish without a second thought,
and never with a doubt,
that everytime I see you again,
I see that same smile on your face from back then.
Thank you,
My companion in thought, my friend,
for birthing me for the second time back then.

my thoughts
   go wild
synapses flash
   in syncopated fright

left brain
   against the right

powers of reasons
battling fears
   unleashed
   from primal memories released
   by an unwatchful intellect
   relinquishing control
   in tired slippage
   at the end of day

I NEED YOU

born from the brilliant blue
   of northern skies
it found a way
   through shiny eyes
straight to my heart

an instant passion grew
unfolded into years
   of anxious virtual meetings
times spent in harmony
as well as strife, support, and care

days of wild ecstasy
   followed despair and alienation
closeness and distance
   took their turns
and more than once
what was to be the final cut
grew back to bloom again

over the years
love has grown more sedate
but not less tense
   at times perhaps more painful

but still as true
as on that day
when in the sun of northern skies
it found its way
   through brilliant eyes
straight to my heart

          * *

my no faced poker playing partner
her hands held so close to her chest
I don't see a bluff don't know if
she has a flush or a king
in the hole

Can't even read her when she lays down
a straight to her king
or has two pairs
to my one queen.

She antes and bids so calm
always, I guess I sometimes win,
but I know,
the odds are stacked way so far
against, me.

When you feel the world is hating on you.
Smiles are rare now.
I only walk into hate.

Maybe it's the sun?
But the people I love,
Are turning into my enemies.

These ears hurt,
After all the voices.
Voices that I can't stand.
Voices that mimic me.

I'm not sure anymore,
Of anything at all.
A silence settles between my friends,
I'm so afraid.

My vision so blurry,
I only look into the void now.
Has life taken me by it's hands,
And shook me sightless?

I'm distant,
But with a fake smile.
My voice hoarse,
From all the comforting.

Leaving  has made me realize,
I don't belong,
If no one wants me.

There are a few,
That light a fire in me.
But the numbers have shrunk,
By an infinite amount.

It never is depression,
But I wish to slip away.
To see if it is worth it,
I there is a silver lining.

I never want tomorrow to come,
If today was bad enough.
I feel as if there is nothing to look forward to.
Nothing at all.

I don't know anyone anymore,
As if they've grown up without me.
I wasn't their missing link,
But only a useless one.

My feelings are numb,
I feel so empty.
I don't understand anything.
I just don't know.

There's a quality to her smile
That these days is not often seen
One that triggers memories
Of places you'd hate to leave

There's a depth inside of her eyes
Of oceans deep and rivers wide
No submarine could endure
The bottom of her waters

There's a sad ache to her touch
A whisper on her wind
That brings you oh so close to her
Then let's you go again

There's a graveness in her voice
A silence filled with screams
That penetrates your very soul
If you dare to listen

Would you like to know a secret
If you do, this one's for free
If you care to dare to look real close
You'll see this girl is me