He comes to find me as I sit alone
in a tiny room.
I close one door in my mind
And open another.

We communicate with questions;
What, where, when,
why didn't you?
Questions…Accusations
Bitter, angry conversations.

Sometimes I am lying in bed,
Other times I sit, very still
And wait for him to leave.
I want him to leave.

I need to be alone
So that I don’t have to be alone.
I want to open doors that I have closed.
He is intruding on another life
I need him to be gone.

Why wouldn’t you?

I wouldn’t, because I couldn’t.
You don’t, because you won’t.
Daily life, peppered with negatives,
Seasoned with unspoken resentments.

My life, the way it is, the way it will be,
There is no point in searching for a key,
If there is nothing to unlock.

I'm scared, so scared, of something indefinable.
    I need you to hold me, but
I won't ever ask.

I understand the power of a spoken dream,
   A hidden longing dragged from the shadows
  To dissolve in the light.

            Tonight

I am lonely, I am hurting,
   Raked by Never's scabrous fingers,
Hungering for hope.

If I begged you, would you, could you, come?
   Spirited before me by the strength of my need?
No matter; sleep, our restless tossings
  are well earned, this is a just and righteous anguish.

We, I, you, we,
    Recognise the power of a lost, unspoken dream.

I have no words to speak of these tears
That arrive unbidden, an exquisite release
That has nothing to do with grief.
I can do nothing but allow them to blanket me
with something that is not quite comfort, but knowing;
"Ah, so it is, this is what it is, and will be."
This is a moment that is purely mine,
A recognition, something permitted, at long last.
No denials, for I know myself,
And can be gentle, now.
I love you.

Others have tried to please me,
They failed, because, deep down
They were trying to please themselves.

You don't try.
You just do.

Before you, I fed on happiness scraps.
They tasted good
but I was starving,
I gobbled up and pleaded; give me more,
I tried to be deserving.

But you and I...We don't need to give, or take, or bargain,
Ever-friend, always-love,
We are happy just to hold each others hopes, and hearts, and secret dreams.
There are no conditions, no expectations
Our lives are both complex and impossible, simple and limitless.

I will pour myself into you, fill the aching places of need
You will never, ever let me beg, or cringe, or weep, or plead.

Time terminates all inner truths.
Years will pass, we are the hare,
And time is the tortoise.
We will wake, from this delightful dream, and find ourselves
Excluded from the final prize.
Down your pens now, poets, live, live, live!
Take risks, love freely, be daring, try sharing,
Be the hare, but be aware,
You’ll look around one day and there’ll be nothing there;
Up in front, a smiling beast in a shell
Will watch you crumple, overtaken,
Speed is futile,
It’s the journey that counts.

A lost, dark star
Resisting the relentless pull of a black hole,
Taking, draining, breaking,
Its light could not escape.

Approaching the Event Horizon
A high-energy collision;
Caught in the gravitational pull
Of another, kindred star.

An expanding universe
Unleashing the power of creation.
Darkness recedes, banished,
Twin suns shimmer, renewed, rebirthed

This is us; you are the star that saved me,
The universe blazes with innumerable others,
Your light outshines them all.