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Apr 2016 · 887
Unholy Ghosts
AllAtOnce Apr 2016
She came to me with red eyes and tears
Said please don't tell another soul
Swear on Shakespeare's quiet grave
They can't know that you know
She told me of the skeletons that lie in his head
That whisper in his ear
She told me he's not insane
And not to be afraid
But the shadows in his eyes will never change

It's the darkness behind the eyes that kills
It's the shadows in the walls
That can never get their fill
The pressure, the demons, they tear him apart
All four of them are taunting him, and taunting him, they're taunting him
Taunting him in the dark

We all have our secrets
But not everyone can have the keys
Dancing near their collarbones for everyone to see
And I think back to the first few years
Just a glance, or two, or three
I never could've guessed
Never could've watched him get undressed
Without knowing all the rest
Since when is this world such a mess?  

It's the darkness behind the eyes that kills
It's the shadows in the walls
That can never get their fill
The pressure, the demons, they tear him apart
All four of them are taunting him, and taunting him, they're taunting him
Taunting him in the dark

And maybe it's about the regrets
Or the close calls and the second guesses
And the time
Oh, the time
The time that's spent that I can't get back
Even if it's just fleeting thoughts
Three years and four ghosts too long
And to be honest
I don't know why I wrote this song

She came to me, all red eyes and tears
And we've all seen a little darkness and we've felt a little fear
And I just wanted someone to explain
But nothing had changed
And no one is to blame
I got nothing for this one...
Apr 2016 · 278
Laughter
AllAtOnce Apr 2016
There's something about a distinct sharpness in your ribs
That is accompanied by scarce breaths
That makes your head ache
So that your nails dig into your flesh
There's something about silent smiles
And unreachable thoughts
That can only come every once and a while
Because no one has make me laugh that hard
In a very long time
Mar 2016 · 405
Many
AllAtOnce Mar 2016
Him
Her
Us
We
Does anyone else know the feeling?
Four for the price of one
What a sale!
What a deal!
One dimple
Two dimples
Less dimples
More
Aren't I glad I never felt anything of the sort!
Few
Many
Violent
Still
Maybe have but never will
Revelations
And
Revelations
Shaken to the core
People are such strange creatures
Whether there are one
Or two
Or three
Or four.
Mar 2016 · 528
Push it down
AllAtOnce Mar 2016
The night in question was September
That's when I realized nothing had changed
Three years had gone by
But some things were still the same

The sun was setting slow
And the radio was blaring loud
Push it down, push it down
But when you looked at me I was always just a face in the crowd
So I'll always push it down

You asked me if I wanted to go
Begged and pleaded up until now
But it was just the quiet echoes
Of everybody else bailing out
It was never about me
Never about my company
Just about someone I could never be
I will always be a quiet memory

The day in question was May
This time I did the asking and the shouts
It was a yes then a no then a simple I'm out
And even now I'm not surprised
Still just another face in the crowd

It doesn't hurt anymore
If I push it down, push it down
And recognize my place in this world
Below everybody and anyone around

It's been four years
And it'll be four more
Some things will never change
So I don't try anymore
I will always just push it down
Push it down
Push it down
Mar 2016 · 334
Lullaby
AllAtOnce Mar 2016
You are my lullaby
Tossing and turning overnight
Through the dark and beyond the light
You are my lullaby

You are my late night thoughts
It's 2 am and I won't get caught
Letting in all the things I've fought off
You are my late night thoughts

You are my aching soul
For life or death, I'll never know
God forbid the pain reflect or show
You are my aching soul

You are my breaking heart
I think you're sad and I think you're hurt and that's just the start
Nevertheless, you're a work of art
You are my breaking heart

You are out of my reach
Teasing, taunting, betraying my being
All of these thoughts aren't mine to keep
You are so out of my reach

You are my lullaby
As I fall apart and start to cry
Wanting to sleep until I die
You are my lullaby
AllAtOnce Feb 2016
I imagine that you'd taste like spring
You'd taste like fresh water and grass clippings
And running my hands through your too long hair
Everything around us decorated in blues and greens
Take it all in with breath of fresh air

I imagine that your eyes are the color of candies
Golds and reds and browns
Your fingers feel like reinforced branches
Against the green twigs of my own

I imagine that being with you would be like rain
There would be fights and there would be cold nights
But April showers bring May flowers
And I know everything would be alright

I imagine what it would take for me to stop thinking of you in this moment
Harsh winters and a harsher spring
But when the breeze of regrowth blows on through
The streams cannot rush as fast as the feelings

So as I imagine my toes tickling the grass
I have to imagine that I'm insane
Because it's not that spring anymore
And it never will be again
Feb 2016 · 441
Haunted Ground
AllAtOnce Feb 2016
One of the most haunting things to see
Is the rubble of what people used to be
All the broken walls of shame
And she can't even say his name
Bricks scattered like self esteem
All among the rotting trees
The words leave an imprint on the silhouette
The brick walls left aren't even red
Shattered souls like broken glass
Mirrored fragments reflect a bitter social class
So when a sympathetic comes to clean up the mess
There isn't even a floorboard left
Nothing can be rebuilt on the cursed ground
Not a fling, not a heart, not a sound
So when he goes to scream his name
Everything stays silent all the same
She picked up and ran so far away
Somewhere like Orlando or LA
While the empty space is where it used to be
Haunted, empty, and unseen
Jan 2016 · 545
Ask Me Someday
AllAtOnce Jan 2016
I never wanted to be one of those girls
Love drunk on desperation and constellations
Captured by your twice bitten nails and my lonely expectations
Why don't you ever notice when your eyes meet mine?
I'm completely taken and I don't know why

I never wanted to stop breathing
Listen. I promise. I swear.
I'm drowning in all of this and I can't seem to catch the air
I think all of the colors are beginning to fade
Maybe you'll ask me about it someday

I never wanted you to look at me the way you do
Empty eyes with nothing behind them
Why don't you look at me the way I want you to?
Because those blind looks seal my fate and I don't like why they do

I never wanted to be one of those people who lied
But none of this is working anymore
I'm imagining your shirt crumpled on the floor
And as these words appear on my sleeve
I realize that there's no one who will really see them.
Dec 2015 · 528
Save me
AllAtOnce Dec 2015
I realize that so few know and so few care
But tonight will consist of watching dye run out of my hair
And brushing the taste of cough drop off of my teeth
Then listening to music that makes me cry until I fall asleep
Someone, please, save me.
Dec 2015 · 344
More Flashbacks
AllAtOnce Dec 2015
Tonight has been different
And tonight has been strange
This Christmas felt quiet
And we feel the same
It took me forever to figure out what to get you
And I guess that's why tonight I'm seeing blue
I had to dig up everything
All of the rusty
Old
Silenced
Memories
That I had tucked away
Didn't you take me out for your birthday?
I've never bought you anything in my entire life
(Ice cream, maybe? Once?)
I don't know what you're into anymore and I don't know what you like
Or where to draw the line
It can't be too much like it was
Because we won't have any of that [love]
Song lyrics, song lyrics, and song lyrics started to fill my head
The Mayday Parade, The Only Exception, and the Red
That's too much, too much, too much
What's left, what's left, (do you remember when we went for lunch?)
I think you like books still; maybe that doesn't change
I feel like those kinds of things stay the same
Oh god, now I'm rambling again
I'm such a wreck tonight I'm sorry for the mess
(Do you remember the time we made a milkshake
Back then everything was so fake)
And you probably won't even see whatever this is
You're never on as much as you were (you know what, ***** this)
I think it's time to shut it all out
Shut off the phone and sit in the shower
It's just easier to leave the rusty
Old
Silenced
Memories
Buried away where they belong
Maybe I wouldn't be writing this right now
Dec 2015 · 584
Need
AllAtOnce Dec 2015
He wants my brain so he takes what he needs
But he needs everything I know and everything I feel
She needs my affection-needs to know I care
Know that her best friend is still in there somewhere
Someone else needs all of my heart
I'm supposed to feel like she feels, but  it's all getting so hard
They need all of my muscle and my every move
Because there's always something else I have to do
Everyone needs every part of me except for my soul
But even that isn't free
There's no one out there who wants it for their own
So it's just my soul and I, sleeping all alone
Nov 2015 · 885
You're such a waste of time
AllAtOnce Nov 2015
You are just a blond hair blue eyed
Major waste of time
But I can't help but stare
What is left for me there?

I don't know what I'm looking for anymore
I'm getting so bored
There's a waste of time in a beanie and a button down
Just around the corner babe
I remember that you said my name
And everything is falling apart right now

There's no purpose left
There's nothing left for me here
Just blond hair blue eyes
You're such a waste of time
I swear I'm losing my mind
And your girlfriend knows I'm insane

In the dark
In the deep November dark
The only thing left
Is a waste of time
Dressed to the nines

So I'll put on my best smile
Get my beauty sleep
I don't want to feel
Because it's all for a waste of time
Waiting for something real
To come along
Nov 2015 · 470
Time
AllAtOnce Nov 2015
I remember when I thought it wouldn't get better
But here I am
Three years later
Nov 2015 · 336
And....scene!
AllAtOnce Nov 2015
The lights are brighter than the ones in your eyes
Your cheeks caked with blush
I wonder what you're thinking when you're up there
I wonder if you're performing for her
Scene after scene
Line after line
I just want to break down and cry
Because when you look out into the crowd
With that stupid smile on your face
You skip right on past me
I never mattered anyway
You can tap my shoulder all you want
And I'll tell you that you did great
But nothing is sincere
Our entire lives are a play
So tomorrow when you push your hair back
And straighten your tie
I'll be walking out the back door
Forgive me if I don't say goodbye
Nov 2015 · 365
What's the point?
AllAtOnce Nov 2015
Trying to love you is like trying to live infinitely
Cause even roSes have thorns that make you bleed
The stArs have faults
And angels fall
What's the point in loving you at all?
Those freckles are stars in celestial connect the dots
How can one person alone beat all the odds
There's nothing left for the rest of us
No one ever asked you to be perfect
No way that happened by chance
TiMe to take a step back
Take a bow
Snap out of the trance
You cannot be as great as they make you seem
I'm waiting for you to come apart at the seams.
#st
Nov 2015 · 471
broken boy love song
AllAtOnce Nov 2015
hush my dear
don't you cry
take a deep breath
everything will be alright
i'd break my heart for what breaks yours
i'd build a wall up around it
with tall, stone walls and twice locked doors

let me wrap my arms around you
come close-closer-close
push the hair out of your eyes
please, honey, please don't cry
have a little faith
is that what you want me to say?

i know that you're broken and i know that you're scarred
but i think you can be whole again
i think that you're strong
and when everything comes tumbling down
just replay this broken boy love song
when you feel broken and when you feel scarred
look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're strong
so when everything you love is still at home
listen to the broken boy love song

i hear that you're alone
i hear you're going insane
music turned all the way up
hoping someone is calling your name
but you know i'd break my heart for what broke yours
i'd build a wall up around it
with tall, stone walls and twice locked doors

i know that you're broken and i know that you're scarred
but i think you can be whole again
i think that you're strong
and when everything comes tumbling down
just replay this broken boy love song
when you feel broken and when you feel scarred
look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're strong
so when everything you love is still at home
listen to the broken boy love song

break my heart for what breaks yours
i don't expect bright eyes or open doors
breaking my heart for what broke yours
maybe we both feel alone in the world
break my heart for what breaks yours
stone walls and twice locked doors
AllAtOnce Oct 2015
I don't like the way people say your name
Some end it with a bitter note
It sounds harsh and out of style
Some don't say it at all
But some can't even say it right
It doesn't sound right coming from anyone else
It's mine.
Mine I tell you.
Because I don't like the way people say your name
But I guess to you it all sounds the same.
Can't even rhyme right now lol
Sep 2015 · 297
Picture Death
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
Your world comes crashing down around you
Suddenly your mother is in your arms
Your brother is crying on his knees
And you haven't felt this way in so long
People aren't supposed to disappear
No one should just die
But sometimes life isn't fair
Suddenly you're running away to anywhere  

You're sitting on a hospital bed
Flowers complete the room
You're drowning in your own regrets
But there's nothing you could have done or said
Your mother is planning a funeral
Cool and collected by now
But all you want to do is cry
All you can do is break down
They lived long lives filled with love
But it shouldn't be over yet
Picturing you in this state
Makes my heart hurt to forget

Hospital flowers should never beautify death
And death should never be beautiful
But why did it have to happen so fast?
Why did they have to be killed?
You choke it up and avoid the smiles
That all say how sorry they are
It doesn't matter how they feel
Because your grandparents are gone.
Sep 2015 · 279
The End.
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
He was the artist and I was the writer.
He was the picture and I was the thousand words.
But now
We are nothing.
And now
That's okay.
The end never really seems to be the end does it?
Sep 2015 · 293
Beauty
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
Beauty.
You want to be by his side
You want to feel his hands in your hands
With eyes the color of the sky
And hair the color of sand
Beauty has a voice like a song
A heart without standing
Everything is watching
Sitting. Wishing. Waiting.
Beauty always smiles
Beauty is always strong
He ignores rumors about him
All year long
Beauty feels the pressure
To show that he's so smart
All the jokes roll off his back
And he never falls apart
Maybe he cries under the covers
Maybe he's got a broken heart
No one will ever know
But he shines so bright in the dark
With no thoughts of someone like me
Beauty is alone
And maybe that's why he seems so
Beautiful.
Sep 2015 · 189
The Last Time
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
This is the last time I'll pretend I care
I'll hold my head high and dye my hair
This is the last time I'll say I know you
I'll paint grey what once was blue
This is the last time I'll let you go
After all this you won't know
This is the last time I'll be awake
I'm not in your dreams anyway
This is the last time I'll write your name
Every feeling is always the same
This is the last line I'll write about you
Why does "you" seem to rhyme with "blue"?
I think I'll be gone a while.
Sep 2015 · 246
Unbalance
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
How is it that you have my heart and soul
But all I have is your number
*dark and hollow
dead with sorrow.
Sep 2015 · 293
Breaking Ties
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
Falling love
Sharing hearts
Far too similar
For my taste
Forbidden fruit
Taken away
What if pieces
Fit anyway
It doesn't matter
Everything's lost
But how far will this go
What does he cost
Breaking ties
Cutting strings
Burning bridges
Muffled screams
Sep 2015 · 737
Ties
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
black heart
beanies
green shirt
screaming
"he has a girlfriend"
broken heart
torn between
a new start
deep breaths
hold on
it will be over soon
move on
fixing strings
new ties
looking for love
falling apart
Sep 2015 · 258
now i see
AllAtOnce Sep 2015
it's always different seeing someone for yourself
compared to knowing them through someone else.
Aug 2015 · 310
Call Me
AllAtOnce Aug 2015
Roller coasters
Dinosaurs
Man made lakes
Wooden floors

Taylor Swift
Instruments
Middle school phases
Humid wind

I'd talk about the weather
I'd talk about the sky
I'd talk about everything
That ever happened with you and I

I'd talk about your favorites
But I already know them all
I'd talk about my fears
But you know about my walls

We could talk about everything
Really
Besides religion
And politics
And everything else on the list
If you would just pick up the phone first for once
And actually call me
I'm so incredible bored.
Aug 2015 · 399
I just need you to see
AllAtOnce Aug 2015
I need you to take everything that you're feeling right now
And everything that I just told you to do
And realize that I feel that way every single day
And that's the only reason I could try and help you
I need you to put yourself in my place
And realize that honestly being friends ***** more than you'd ever think
Especially when you're heart breaks for so much more
The other person just isn't interested in it
Just take a step back and see, **** it. By the way, I'm not okay either.
Aug 2015 · 443
if i'm honest...
AllAtOnce Aug 2015
if i'm honest, i don't even know if i wanted you there
but as the silence cut through the radio played on
sometimes i'm so sick of the universe and its signs
even when it isn't wrong

if i'm honest, i laughed too hard
and smiled too much
because i wanted you to fall the same way i did
i wanted you to fall in love

if i'm honest, when you asked truth or dare
it scared the life out of me
i could tell by the look in your eyes
that you knew you could end my being

if i'm honest, in the dimly lit room
i wanted to lose myself in you again
i really can make everything out of absolutely nothing
after all, we're just friends

but if i'm honest, after the one o'clock walk
and you went home to sleep
i must have left my being on the other side of the street
because it didn't come back until two or three

if i'm honest, i only told you that i couldn't go
because i couldn't see you with anyone else
i'm not sorry that i didn't go, though
i guess right now i'm just not myself

and if i'm honest, i just laid in bed
all of the very next day
after seeing you, i always fall so low
waiting to hear from the one who went away

maybe i don't want to be this honest
but i need to stop lying to myself
if i'm honest, it's good to get all of this out
even if it means you shutting down

but if i'm honest, i don't know if i want you to read this
i don't know who i want to be
i only know what i always have
that somehow, i just need you to be there with me.
"Clarity"-Zedd
Aug 2015 · 741
*Hello*
AllAtOnce Aug 2015
You're my Prince Charming
You just don't know it yet
Be my white knight
On a black horse
With sword made out of words
Be my foothold
Carved out of rhinestones
With a heartbeat made of gold
Be my partner
Be my lover
Be the one I've been waiting for
Be the bad boy
To my good girl
And I promise
We'll rule the world

I'll be your novel
You be the author
Shaping who I am
You be my Shakespeare
And I'll be your Juliet
Baby we'll make it somewhere
I'll be your guitar
You pluck my heartstrings
All you have to do
Is say "hello" to me

Walk over
Walk your pretty eyes over
Come closer
Why'd you ever have to leave
Don't you wanna know me
Like I wanna know you
Don't you wanna kiss me
Like I want to be with you
We're meant to be
Even if you don't know it yet
I can see it all
In my minds' eye
Remember I'm
The one who they pushed you to
All it takes
Is for you to walk over

You be my bodyguard
I'll be your princess
You be my good boy
I'll be your witness
You be the bad news
I'll be the wanna be
You be the shadows
I'll be the way you breathe
You be the teacher
I'll be the student
Why didn't you bring me where you went
You be the one for me
I'll be the one to beat
Won't you just say "hello"

Walk over
Walk your pretty eyes over
Come closer
Why'd you ever have to leave
Don't you wanna know me
Like I wanna know you
Don't you wanna kiss me
Like I want to be with you
We're meant to be
Even if you don't know it yet
I can see it all
In my minds' eye
Remember I'm
The one who they pushed you to
All it takes
Is for you to walk over

If you would even show a glance to me
I would be everything for you
If you would even smile at me
I would give everything to you
Why didn't you tell me when you'd leave
Why couldn't you be someone for me
But if you never said "hello"
And I never said a word
What good is anything?

If you'd be the thunder
I'd be the lighting
I'd be scared
Be good
Be frightening
If you'd be the rain
I'd be the trees
I'd be loved
Be good
Be happy
If you'd say "hello"
I'd say lets go
Let's run away
Run fast
Run far
Run somewhere safe

If you would even show a glance to me
I would be everything for you
If you would even smile at me
I would give everything to you
Why didn't you tell me when you'd leave
Why couldn't you be someone for me
But if you never said "hello"
And if I never said a word
What good is anything?
If I never said a word
If I never said a word
What good is anything

Oh, oh hello
Just say hello to me.
Sorry another long one.
Aug 2015 · 210
revelation #15
AllAtOnce Aug 2015
i'd still choose you over and over again
even after you hurt me
and i hurt you
over and over again
Aug 2015 · 210
Untitled
AllAtOnce Aug 2015
i'm so sorry
that i
disturbed
you
with the sound
of my
loneliness
and
the resounding
ache
of the constant
reminder
of the constant
rejection
Aug 2015 · 255
Just let me let go of you
AllAtOnce Aug 2015
I'm so sorry that I'm so clingy
I'm so sorry that I can't let go
But there is no way you could ever actually know
Just how I feel about this
Or you
Or anything
And every time you disappear I have to get used to being okay again
And then you come back
Expecting things to be totally fine like it was then
But every time you come back I realize how much I missed you
And how bad I am at letting go
This needs to stop
But you just don't know.
Jul 2015 · 964
*Candlelight*
AllAtOnce Jul 2015
You said you'd never come back
What a far cry from what we've had
I'm still clinging to the last hope
As it dangles from a thread
You said please if you ever were to see me again
Don't even look at me
Please if you ever see me again
I hope that you forget to leave

I left a candle burning for you
Lighting up the sleepless nights
I left a fire burning for you
Won't you come home tonight?

My eyes are wide open
Watching the flames go out
In the early morning hours
I'm all alone now
You said love changes everything
I said all you do is leave
Now here I am and there you are
Don't you want to feel me breathe?

I left a candle burning for you
Lighting up the sleepless nights
I left a fire burning for you
Won't you come home tonight?

These nights waiting up
Are nothing compared to what you put me through
These nights falling apart
Are not nearly the worst of you
Maybe I was wrong about everything
Maybe you cared more than I'd like to think

Maybe you leave a candle burning for me
Casting shadows on your sleepless nights
Maybe you leave a fire burning for me
But it just wasn't worth the fight

I'll still leave a candle burning for you
Lighting up the sleepless nights
I'll leave a fire burning for you
I know you won't come home tonight
I know this was a long one. Thanks for reading to the end! :)
Jul 2015 · 422
Chameleon Love
AllAtOnce Jul 2015
I never saw the same love in you twice
Black was for hate
Innocence for white
You're insecurities were green
Wasn't that your favorite feeling?
The depression was blue
And anger was red
Funny that's the color I always thought of you as
Purple for the royalty you think you are
How did things fall that far?
This chameleon love could only go on for so long
What made a rainbow so wrong?
Jul 2015 · 280
Collaboration
AllAtOnce Jul 2015
Sorry, not a poem. I'm looking into doing a collaboration with someone. Anyone interested? Comment or message me to let me know.
AllAtOnce Jul 2015
Everyone keeps saying that I dodged the bullet
And they wonder why I never wanted to say
Actually, I was held at gunpoint
And the trigger was pulled anyway
Jul 2015 · 318
strangers again
AllAtOnce Jul 2015
they say rainbows only come after rain
but with my rainbow came your parade
my two years were wasted
and your love was a lie
everything fell apart at the dawn of your pride
because after everything we've been
we're strangers again.
old feelings bubbling up. well what did I expect?
Jun 2015 · 275
monotony
AllAtOnce Jun 2015
it's funny that i wake up every morning
and the birds are getting ready to sing
there are still leftovers in the fridge from the night before
and the dishes are waiting to be cleaned

my brother is already glued to some technology from his generation
and those in mine are watching the news
waiting for some kind of transformation

but yet it's still funny
that i wake up every morning
Jun 2015 · 866
If it were January
AllAtOnce Jun 2015
I can't find myself anymore
I was so rooted in what you thought of me
What am I supposed to so when nothing was ever real
Not in word or in deed
If it were January I would have texted you song lyrics
"I bet at this time of night you're still up"
But I wouldn't know if you are anymore
Funny how, if it were January, I would've called it love
Where do I go from here
It's too late for thoughts like this
You went to bed hours ago
And if it were January I would have wasted an 11:11 wish
What do you want me to say
I can barely be in the same room, inside or out
Everything is the same but everything is different now
There's moretouching moreglances moreshouts
I just want to close my eyes
Why can't I fall asleep
If it were January I would have told you to stop dreaming of me
AllAtOnce Jun 2015
Two years ago I believed I had time
I believed that somehow, you'd be mine
I told you we had time
(I told you to be patient)
I told you you'd be mine
(I told you to be fine)
A year ago I believed we would be okay
I believed that you would stay
I told you we were okay
(I told you to be balanced)
I told you to stay
(I told you to be kind)
I told you
I told you
I told you
Yesterday I realized that time was relative
I realized that I don't know what I did
I didn't tell you time was relative
(And now all your love is wasted)
I didn't tell you I don't know what I did
(Then who the hell am I?)
I didn't tell you
I couldn't tell you
I wouldn't tell you
So let me tell you, love never lasts the year
No matter how much you laugh or the pools of tears
So let me tell you, I don't know what happened here
But I thought that I could live without a fear
(Skinny love-Birdy)
May 2015 · 499
Postcards
AllAtOnce May 2015
He walks up to her
I can feel the beating of her heart
As he walks away I hand her a postcard
One that says he will tear her apart
He smiles and bats his eyes at her
She laughs as she hands him her phone
As he walks away I hand her a postcard
And it says that one day he'll laugh with her and one day he won't
He tells her a story characterized by the lights in his eyes
She is completely lost in his being
As he walks away I hand her a postcard
Saying that he isn't worth all of her feelings
And as he turns a blind eye to her
But she's still in love with him, though
I'll hand her a postcard
One that says I told you so
Someone just needs to follow him around and warn us all that somehow, to some degree, he will break our hearts.
May 2015 · 434
What has education come to?
AllAtOnce May 2015
My freshman year I learned
Not to love people who aren't worth your time
No matter how strong you are
Everything will not be just fine

My sophomore year I learned
Not to let people push you around
But it's okay to fade away a little
To blend in with the crowd

My junior year I learned
That no one can tell you to change
Not your laughter, your joy, or your pain
I learned that nothing is really as it seems
And no one seems to like it when I'm actually me

Maybe senior year I'll learn something else
Maybe I'll learn to be myself
May 2015 · 351
dreamscapes
AllAtOnce May 2015
i weave my hands through a spider silk dress
as the scent of new leather calms my senses
i look over to see a familiar mop of brown hair
and being to wonder what i'm doing there
darkness is falling and the violets outside are glowing
i look up and at the same time, it's snowing
nothin can really be what it seems
and i begin to wonder if its all just a dream
he starts up the car and shoots me a half smile
switching on the radio for a while
soft melodies drift through the car and i'm tempted to sing
and just as my favorite song comes on, it brings on a change of scene
the sheets are cotton but i'm wearing lace
and i can't see anything outside of his face
i never really thought something like this could be
i never thought he could love someone like me
after a moment, everything changes again
different from what others have been
he pulls out a chair and helps me in
and i thank him for his kindness with a grin
the lights from the fireflies are dimming over time
we sit there breathing hope and drinking wine
he leans in and touches my lips with his
i almost pull back from the surprise it is
everything melts into darkness as my eyes open and for the first time
i wonder what it would be like if he was mine
but after all it was just a dream
and didn't mean anything
i could smell his cologne hanging in the air
none of this is fair
because i just want to go back to sleep
May 2015 · 443
The Production
AllAtOnce May 2015
Sometimes we're all just a tangled mess of anxieties and hearts
Wandering around the script in search of a good part
But words are hard and some of us have stage fright
The sounds are too loud and the lights are too bright
So you collapse under the pressure and blood is spilling from your veins
All in search of putting some good to your name
May 2015 · 1.9k
Bittersweet
AllAtOnce May 2015
I'm going to kiss you one time before you leave
Then my heart will beat beat beat until it's free
Just to see what you taste like
Will your eyes be opened or closed
I'll apologize a million times
As we hear the soft sounds of shedding clothes
I'll apologize to you and I'll apologize to her
For everything I ever took you for
As you run your fingers through my hair
And I taste your bittersweet teeth
I hope you're not thinking about me
Oh, I hope you're not thinking about me

I'm going to feel your bones just to get underneath your skin
Life isn't worth living without a few sins, sins, sins
Just so you can plead your innocence with her later  
I hope to god you won't hate her
And I'll apologize a million times
For every time I said I was just fine
As I dress in the shirt you wore yesterday
Don't you dare ask me to stay
I'll apologize to you I'll apologize to her
Because the night faded into a blur
As I ran my fingers through your hair
And tasted your bittersweet teeth
I hope you didn't think about me
Oh, I hope you didn't think about me

I'm going to stand back and watch you go
But I won't stop you, no, no, no
I just wanted to see what you were like
No matter how long I'll wish you hadn't gone
The time we spent together was far too long
So leave me with a song for my lips and sugar for my sins
I'll apologize to you I'll apologize to her
For making things more complicated than they were
Forget that I ran my fingers through your hair
And tasted your bittersweet teeth
I hope you never think about me
Oh, I hope you never think about me
May 2015 · 1.5k
Maybe
AllAtOnce May 2015
Maybe you died
Maybe you went to space
Maybe you moved to Alaska
Or maybe you changed your face
You might have finally disappeared
You might be just be a ghost
Or maybe you were always a figment of my imagination
Or I was your earthly host
You must have dropped off of the earth
In a quick blind of an eye
But I can't remember the last day we actually talked
Maybe that makes it alright
Apr 2015 · 240
Thoughts
AllAtOnce Apr 2015
Just because I shut my brain off when I go to bed
That doesn't mean I stop thinking of you
It just means I stop thinking of ways to keep you out of my head
AllAtOnce Apr 2015
you know your eyes are like needles
shooting stars up my veins
and my brain explodes faster
at the taste of your name
i can hear the color amber
when i look into your eyes
and i wonder if you hear melodies of brown
when you look into mine
i want to grind your bones into a powder
to have a piece of you once you're gone
i'd destroy you in such a beautiful way
you'll know why people share names with storms
Apr 2015 · 461
Emily Dickinson Rant
AllAtOnce Apr 2015
The world doesn't understand
Poetry isn't for eyes to see-
It's not to be deciphered by the masses
But for the heart to feel
Don't pick it apart like a puzzle
Because in pieces there's nothing to be
You need to view it as a while
Because the emotions packed between the pieces
Are just as painfully real
Her sister published her poems after her death, even though she didn't want them published, and that really bugs me. If she didn't want it published, her sister shouldn't have published them. Rant over.
AllAtOnce Apr 2015
The shooting stars are falling and the pocket full of stars had a leak
And any kind of lullaby gives me night terrors when I sleep
Times up: game's over and this is how it ends
Remember when you didn't want to be just friends?
You never were one for basic lyrics and cliches
But I guess some stanzas just end up that way
I'm sorry to say I don't believe in magic anymore
Because it's all just a hoax
Put on by small men in dark cloaks
You know we both made mistakes and that's okay
But keeping this to yourself definitely takes the cake
You know there's a reason my head usually says no
Because you were a bad idea and for heaven's sake, I should've known
You know I had no idea what you were going to say
But it still came out of your mouth anyway
Sometimes love is stupid and I wasn't the one
I guess I should have known that but now you're in on the fun
So just a little passive aggressive.
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