I follow my own road,
Unable to determine really what road that is,
All I know is that,
It's not a big road,
Nor a paved one,
I am on a gravel road stretching for miles,
I don't speed on this road,
I'm driving below the speed limit,
I imagine that my road that I am taking is winding and undecided,
I'm driving a classic Bugatti Type 57sc Atlantic,
In a pale sky blue colour,
I don't care how long it takes for my path to straighten,
I just want to enjoy the ride,
Until life catches up.

If only I was different,
Would I finally fit in,
If only I was what you wanted,
Would you love me,
If only I could understand,
Would you regard me as me,
If only I normal,
Could you let me live a normal life,
If only I was clean,
Would you reach out your hand,
If only I could be perfect,
Would you understand that I'm not,
If only I could find who I am,
Would you believe that I found me,
If only I left,
Would you realize what I felt,
If only I lived long enough,
Would you finally realize my potential,
What I could have been.

How can I blame you for your broken parts?
for a flaw that was hammered into your bones by another
until you thought it shaped the way you sit inside your skin

How did you get to be this way, you ask
how do you hide your pain to help me lessen mine?
how do you love me, both craven and curious ?

Because, I find no joy in the pain I could inflict
which for only a second would ease the dull ache in my belly.
Because I have welded myself  together from the scrapmetal anger creates, countless times
Tasting only iron and rage
and my bones are stiff from the reconstruction of yet another life.

I forgive you because you are as human as I am,
just as tired of the forgery which has weakened the frame that builds you.
Because you now control the hammer
let it build you,
or let it break you

You were taken from me before we were born
and so I floated and grew alone in a room for two dreaming of moons and sunlight

What are you if you are a twin,
but never had the chance to be one?

I'm half of a whole made up of two people
but now I am  all of what is left,
with a ghost
hidden in my peripherals  

Sometimes I feel I am the moon,
the moon and lunar tides
which means you must've been the sun and shores
to tie me to the earth

Because when I am alone, you are the phantom beside me reminding me of warmth,
and you are the unexplained loss I feel
standing in the sun