the midnight is my time of night.
or morning, i guess you could say.

the house is quiet, and my dreams take flight.
i dream all the time, but always better in night than day.

the hum of the fan combined with the tapping of my fingers on keys
makes my mind so creative and free.

i think of all possibilities and of my love and how happy i am
but every now and then, my worst fear creeps in instead.
my thoughts are hopeful and optimistic, and then, bam.
i curl up in bed and my thoughts are now filled with dread.

Depression has nothing to do with sadness.

What they don’t tell you is that Depression is a sunny summer day and a dying autumn tree at the same time. It’s a new job while taking six classes, but it’s also a day trip to a crowded amusement park. Depression can be a tall building peeking through the fog during your first airplane ride. Sometimes it’s just the accumulated hair you have to yank out of your old hairbrush.

Most of all, Depression is having involuntarily wasted the last four hours of my life in bed and worrying that’s not all of it that’s passed me by.

I once had a relation-ship,
But she sailed far away,
Up anchored and set course to find
Another sheltered bay.

Our stormy and tempestuous affair
Had ended, sunk at last,
The current which pulled us apart,
Had run so strong and fast.

She didn't even wave, but left me
At low ebb, high tide,
Her face was stern, my head was bowed ...
My salty tears to hide.

My flag, alas, she flies no longer
From her stately mast,
Our swell affair was present tense,
But sadly now 'tis past.

She left full speed ahead, her sails
A'billowing like a cloud,
If happiness equals silence,
My heartbreak's cannons loud!

I stare from port, my eye on a star,
Bored, like a boat without rudder,
My emotions beached on a lonely shore,
Left to flounder and shudder.

A vessel like her will shore-ly land
Another love-struck fool,
I'm only one fish in a big big sea ...
And her heart is fathoms cool!

What if the Moon
was the second sun?

who couldn't be brighter,
who could not give life,

one who was devoid of love
and decided eventually to float alone

only to attract the oceans
and see the people
sigh over love
like himself
for eternity

i want to write things for you as
beautifully as the songs that remind me
of the first time you kissed my lips, or
made love to me three summers ago.

i'll want you the way
i want coffee:
in the morning,
in the afternoon,
in the night.
all the time.