The person of your dreams
turned out to be a sad reminder
that nightmares are still just that
Dreams
It’s time to wake up

A quick wipe of her face
Evidence of the stream
Now gone
A deep breath and a few sniffles
Clearing herself up before going back
To Them
Have to remain strong for them
Put the veil over her tiredness
Camouflage her hurt
The distress and heartaches are abundant
Yet for them
It is of no issue
She’d continue to show face
Give her very last breath
All for them
Their happiness, smiles
The very sound of their laughter
Yea...that’s all that matters to her
All that makes sense in her world
All that ever would
So
.
.
.
Deep breath, few sniffles
Clear face
The little loves of her life awaits

You say that you're that you're going through a lot right now
That's why you forget about me for weeks on end
Months

You know what I wanted for my birthday this year
For you to REMEMBER me long enough to say
Happy Birthday Ma
The four years we've been with each other you never
REMEMBER me

Out of being "supportive" of you and the
"**** that you're going through"
I kept quiet about the **** that I'm going through
Fed up I tell you

Sister, nephew, and now aunt testing positive
Missing brother for months, now on live
Cutting himself
ME hurting away from my family unable to be with them

"OK "
That's all I got from you
Hurt is what I get
And so
The end of us is what we get from each other

It's oddly quiet in there today
Normally they're up wreaking havoc by now
Gears in full motion
What's really going on

What am I saying
Am I really questioning it
Who doesn't enjoy the inner stillness
That breath of fresh air

The wheels aren't constantly turning
Things that matter, those that don't
Cares and fears-all silent
The wheels aren't constantly turning

The rage, often wanting to burst
Quiet
Have the little people deserted me
Should I be worried


Happy

It’s raining today
My mind- peaceful, calm, quiet
It’s raining again tomorrow
And for that, I am happy.

******* and your
“Apology”
That **** means nothing
YOU mean nothing
I spilled myself to you
And “Ok” is what I got in return
******* and your
“Apology”
It’s too late for all that
Your true colors
Came out in full brightness
Once beautiful tones and hues
Now I find them all to be
UGLY AS ****
YOU
are UGLY AS ****
******* and your
Sorry sob ***
“Apology”
*****

I’m hurting
I’m grieving
I need you
Please see me
I’m yelling at you
Screaming
Tired and exhausted
I’m alone
Even in your presence
I’m alone
That’s not how it’s supposed to be
Save us before it’s too late