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 Apr 2014 anonymous999
Wednesday
I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.
 Apr 2014 anonymous999
Molly
IF THIS BODY
WEREN'T MINE
WOULD I STILL
HATE IT?
 Apr 2014 anonymous999
Kimberly
You saw her disappearing before your eyes.
You never thought things would get this bad for her,
But now when you lookat her.
All you see are skin and bones,
She's slipping through your fingers like tiny grains of sand,
Her eyes sunken-in and her voice barely a whisper.
She was slowly wasting away,
Escaping your grasp and losing herself.
She was nothing but a ghost,
A ghost with golden hair, wispy and soft,
And long eyelashes, wet with tears.
All you wanted to do was save her.
Make sure she was still going to be there in the morning,
Make sure she wouldn't vanish forever.
Although that's what was slowly happening to her,
She crumbled in your bare hands,
And fell through the cracks no matter how tight your grip.
She was tearing you apart.
One look at her and you knew she was so far gone,
Pale as snow yet red on her wrists.
She was flying away along with the smoke from her cigarettes.
She drank one too many beers and took one too many pills.
You'd die for her, die to save her,
But nothing you said seemed to help her.
You wanted so bad to save her,
To catch her when she falls,
But there came a day when holding her hand didn't seem real and you couldn't feel her anymore.
She caressed your cheek and you tried running your fingers through her hair,
But she was transparent and thin and waving goodbye.
And there came a day when she finally disappeared and sadly,
Despite all your attempts,
You couldn't save her.
 Apr 2014 anonymous999
Jules
You're honestly the most phenomenal human I've ever met and I wish we could be best friends because you're like the guy version of me and it'd be so much fun to have super awesome sleepovers and get ice cream and shove it in each other's faces and play guitar in candlelight in the living room


2 problems.


You're scared of me because I oogle at you because you think I'm perving on you
If only you knew that all those little glances you caught were me just admiring you being your wonderful self....


And I don't have esteem issues but if I'm going to be honest, you're really incredible in that way that I don't know how to describe you and that's sort of intimidating
Every teenager, boy or girl can relate.
 Apr 2014 anonymous999
Helen
I held you softly
as you slept
I held you gently
as you wept
I held you tightly
as you screamed
I stroked your hair
as you dreamed
I wiped the tears
that would not dry
I cried the tears
you would not cry
I took the demons
in your head
and made them
Mine instead
I need to be
by your side
don’t turn me away
I am not your Pride
I am not your Pity
I am not your Sorrow
I am here Today
I am your Tomorrow
This is one of my oldest and most beloved writes. I never considered adding it to any collections until today. Considering this will be my one true legacy I leave behind, it is as relevant to me today as the day it was written. Enjoy :)
my pen
is running out of
ink
and i think
that may
symbolize
more than
my inability
to
write
 Apr 2014 anonymous999
Wednesday
I fell in love with you all over again in a hospital waiting room

I fell in love with the deep purple under your eyes
like delicate bruising

I fell in love with the paleness of your lips
from lack of nutrients

I fell in love with the way you moved slowly
and achingly wrapped in a white blanket the color of your skin

I fell in love with the deep crimson of your blood
as it ran through your IV

I fell in love with you again as I laid with you in the hospital bed at 3 am

we’d been there for 10 hours
and you had a little too much morphine in your system
and a lack of sleep
when you pulled me close and said

“I could really see myself marrying you some day”

and that was right before you kissed me with your dye stained lips
so they could see your insides better on the x-ray

I fell in love with you again when you looked at me with your
big hazel eyes that turn black around the edges

You said god had sent me from heaven
An angel to watch over you

I'm not too sure about that but what I do know is:

I Do
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