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  Jul 2018 nim
queen of hearts
your love runs dry
it always rains
you’re the reason
for my worst days
the blues I choose
the shades of gray
you paint the sky
on my darkest days
I hate you most
but I hate the way
you’re still the sun
on my perfect days
no need to get your hopes up.
eyes wide - mind closed up.
in the flesh (but u) ghost-up.
u only got my hopes up.

my emotions start to blow up -
watch out for the glo-up.
i didn't mean to get your hopes up..

she only cares if the dope's up -
until then insecurities stay up.
i'm surprised u ain't gave up -
u only get my hopes up.

loud & abrupt,
expecting a come-up,
but u need to come down.
how come i never see u around?
u like to play the role,
but can't wear the crown.
tell me,
how does your pedestal look
from the ground?

your mouth,
it moves -
your words,
no longer profound.
i just need to know
if u still want me around.
i'll always see u as lost -
never ready to be found.
i'm ready to be made new -
on the road to rebound.
02.12.18 • 4:30am
nim Jul 2018
i had learnt that
a "today" has to be blurry,
filled with gray clouds, and painful,
so that your "tomorrow" can be bright;
happy, without worries,
full of hope and delight,
but
every day is "today"
and "tomorrow"
is always out of touch, out of reach,
painfully untouchable
because tomorrow is always
the next day, postponed,
as every joy turns into dark,
as every tomorrow becomes
a today.
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