Have you ever taken a ride
to the sad side
where the tracks
lay buckled and bare
where the ones
who are born to trust you              
look up in quiet despair
at the face that says  
I love you
with eyes
that don't really care

You tell me you regret her, that you wished I was your first,
I look at you with distain because you know the mistakes I've made,
I wonder,
Will you say to the next one,
"I wish you were my first."
It seems to me quite strange because you once loved her like you did I,
But Ill tell you this,
I will not regret you, I will not tell them Id wished you were they, because although we loved and lost, all that matters is the first.

I love  "A"
I love the moment I saw you
The way your brown eyes meet mine
How the winter  wind moved your curls--
The moment was so perfect
the same way
The moment was perfect
When you said
"I love you."
For the first time
I love you, my love <A3

When you kissed me
I tasted him on your lips
You didnt say it
But I knew:
I was always just backup

everything is dead
anxiety in my chest
I just want to bleed
I'm not of this world
scream at me some more
hit me till I break
there is no escape
demons claw and bite
I can barely breathe
tell me what you see
I only see blood
I only fear you
there is no more pain
scream at me some more
tell me what you think
obviously its truth
everything is dead
I just want to bleed

Step 1: Smile.
Step 2: Forget why.
Step 3: Keep your voice steady
when your soul is not.
Step 4: Pretend it’s fine.
(Everyone else is.)

Step 5: Fold your feelings
into paper birds.
Set them loose.
Watch them burn mid-air.
Clap softly.
Repeat.

There is no final step.
You just keep going
until you don’t know
what breaking feels like anymore.