I found solace within a rock.
It encapsulates sunlight, a greedy absorber of:
Toxins, poisons. Maladies of an internal kind.
As it took whatever fear I gave, whatever fault I could find.

I found 31 and wrapped them around my wrist

To glance- remake, remind me:
That all fears dissapaite
In an amber coloured sea.

**** these tiny butterflies,
that rest in my stomach,
and expand in my chest...

like little paper knives,
i choke.  

and
ill block my lungs one day,
and ***** them up,
coughing out each wing
and eyeball and
tooth
.
.
.

even if theyve got my tongue twisted,
and my brain scattered,

like paint,
it is venom to my
squeezing, breathing heart
and
one day
ill rip out my
intestines
just to see them
gone.

what's difficult is that you can't tell the
difference
between
a prince
and
a toxin.

the toxin is dressed in bright blue eyes
and jet black fluffy hair.
he can sing,
write,
play drums,
and is troubled.
he drags you in with one smile.

he is everywhere
and tells you enough so you'll stay.
his words aren't followed by actions,
but you believe him anyway.
he drags you in with enough to hook you.

he makes you feel guilty
because you did something small that
one time,
yet
he has done far worse
he drags you in with your own flaws.

he says sorry like its a daily pill
and means it
as much as a used piece of gum, on the underside of a table,
means to a stranger.
he drags you in with a minimum performance

he wants your body
and your body only.
you say no for so long,
you finally give in.
he drags you in with hot breaths.

he is bad for you, and you know it.
yet you take another
spoonful
of the toxic waste he is and

you drag yourself in.