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In my need for control,
I became the monster —
Why didn't you
Say no
Why didn't you
Wear more clothes
Why didn't you
Push him away
Why didn't you
Not lead him on
Why didn't you
Stay sober
Be more strong
Tell the cops
Make it stop

Why is it always
Why didn't you?
And never why did you?
Why did you
Violate her
Why did you
Strip away all her strength
Why did you
Act like a monster
Why did you
Not believe her
Why did you
Judge her
Tell her she's a liar
Make his life more important
Blame the victims for everything
Why did you
Make her cry
Why did you
Victim shame
Make her the blame
Never let her say his name
Make her feel shame
Everyday
Let his hands crawl her way
Always to stay
Yet she's the one to blame?

Why is it always
Why didn't you?
I can forget the man who violated me but i can't put down my pen, my anger still. Because of everyone who blamed me. everyone who shamed me. Everyone who told me to *******.
Never mind… a few more starving civilians that were gunned down to quench their hunger…
A few new gas chambers…
A few more parasite bombs dissecting the flesh of youngsters…
It will all sort itself out soon…

A few less teachers…
A few less writers and reachers…
People that can tell us what life means to us…

Never mind….
It’s too late now to turn this around… At least in the interim…
Soon there might be another intermission…
That’s fine, that will work in my favour… buy me some more time to waver… I can deal with this global assumption that I’m a monster…

I can quieten this down, phase this one out…
I don’t need collective cohesiveness, understanding and education…
I just need a good lawyer, some good half truths, a suit and tie and my foolproof patter…
CantSeeMe Sep 2
stay away
it's time to ****
I'm mentally ill

I'm going to destroy
this place you call home

look me in the eyes
everyone dies
at the end of time
but-
I'm a monster with a soul
I'm already whole

just with another kind of hole
"isn't kindness a weakness?"

you can be speechless

just wait for my tears
you'll know my fears
I just felt this way, had to get it all out, probably lying to myself again, I thought people might relate, but I guess we’re not monsters, just trying to figure things out, maybe
Bekah Sep 1
When I was little,
I used to lay beside you,
ear pressed to your chest,
hoping one day
our hearts would beat the same.

Now I know better.
That was never love.
The man I called my father
was nothing but a monster,
hiding in plain sight.

I remember the day I learned your secrets—
your truth carved into me,
still etched beneath my skin.

That was the day I understood
not all monsters live under beds.
Some tuck you in at night,
and press a kiss to your head

Some of them build a home
only to haunt it
with their secrets.

But now I know the truth.
That our hearts never matched,
and I was so stupid
for ever wanting them to.
silence Aug 29
Our hearts are monsters, that's why our ribs are cages—

Bone bars built to hold the wild thing beating,

The creature that would devour whole cities

If we let it loose upon the world.
Behind these ivory prison walls

It thrashes with each pulse,

Clawing at the spaces between,

Hungry for what it cannot name.
Some days I feel it growing stronger,

Testing the limits of its cell,

Pressing against the architecture

That keeps us civilized and safe.
What would happen if the bars bent wide?

If this feral thing broke free

To prowl the streets of daylight,

Leaving chaos in its wake?
Perhaps we'd finally understand

Why evolution locked it up—

This beautiful, terrible beast

That loves too hard, wants too much,
Dreams too big for any body

To contain without breaking.

So here it stays, behind the ribs,

Our monster, our salvation.
Monsters have to be tamed for our safety, right?
**** you out
Your broken beliefs
Your desire to extinguish the very thing that makes me me...

**** you out
Your empty words
Your fraying suit
Your fear...

**** you out
Your insistence to destroy anything that makes us happy and human

**** you out
Your dangerous perception that in order to protect a child you must never become one again...

Which leads to suppression, self-harm, oppression, augmentation and homogenisation...

And when the whole world has shat you out
Showed you that they won’t be controlled anymore by your projection...
Yes, when you’ve truly ****** your freedom -

Who will you turn to?
When even your inner child has closed the door on the monster you’ve become...

****; you’re so out.
Arii Aug 18
I have signed a form
That I can’t turn back from.
I have raised a hand

Of which

cannot be undone.

I have held a blood-stained blade
That’s ruined another,
Scars, wounds, words and all,
Isn’t red a horrible colour?

Isn’t red a horrible colour?

I have made a deal with the devil
And it's given me a choice:

Be the monster
I always have been
Or
Fix myself
With a roll of dice,

Stain my hair
Bronze, silver and gold
Or
Dig through the dirt
At my feet,

Bite my tongue and
Hold my throat
Or
Clasp my hands together,
On my knees.

Isn’t red a beautiful colour?
Are being a bad person and doing a bad thing really the same?
Anxiety.
It eats you from the inside out.
It claws and tears its way through your ribs,
Like a staving hyena desperate for food.
It is chained inside with no way out.
Chains that drag you deep into the water.
Deep into a dark void.
A void that is suffocating,
Forming a lump in your throat
Like hands wrapped around your neck.
A lump that strangles you,
And holds you down.
Causing the inability to know up from down.
It’s the monster lurking in the abyss
Grabbing you to make you one of your own.
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