In the daily quarrel
When words fall upon ****** and deaf ears
Repetition is agitating
Boiling beneath the flesh
Festering like a toxin of lingering potency
Snaking its way into the corners of the mind
Push it down, cast it away
Do not allow the flames to become you

Gripping tightly
Perhaps too much so
As it snaps beneath the pressure
Only a fraction made visible
The rest to be silenced
Only audible for one mind
Screaming and thrashing
Just beneath the surface

Stain the paper
Clutch the fragments
Dispose of the now useless thing
Punishment surely to ensue
For breaking things isn’t the answer they like

Purse your lips
Bite your tongue
Until it bleeds

Clench your fists
Knuckles white
Ding your nails into your palms

Walk away
Hold the chaos at bay
Pull the chain
For fighting would only be in vain
Causing nothing put pain
None, of which, for the enemy

Seething in a soundless cage
Is the inextinguishable rage
Fed in every passing day
Relentless, and you know what they say;
There is no rest for the wicked

Push me far enough
And I will not hold back
Break me enough
And I will become the monster you made me
Uncaged, unleashed
My tongue dripping acidic poison
My eyes visions of flames
My arms stained with well-worn lies
My hands red with “discipline”
My feet tired from running
My hair wild and untamed as a storm cloud
My clothes holding me tighter than a withheld breath
My will stronger than the iron fist wielded upon me

Let me go
Let me walk away
Before I let it all go
The raging fire I hold at bay.

- Jay M
April 6th, 2021

I’m waiting patiently to wake up
a living nightmare where I’m always stuck,
this thing called life that I have no desire for,
there’s a million exits but only one opened door.

So I raised my happinesses tolerance
now referred to only in the past tense.
Two sides and two faces; who decides which is best?
I just don’t know which one I recognize less.

My only saviour has been running late
but I promised that I would always wait.
She says I’m acting too stupid when she knows that I’m smart,
it’s these little contradictions that rip all apart.

I’m trying on all shades of purple and white,
I’ve gotten bored of only blue and red each night.
Why say so long when we can just say goodbye,
all that’s right is wrong and we feed truth a lie,
that’s the similarities and differences of you and I.

From a monstrous storm
A monster is born
With monstrous horns
In a monstrous form

The genesis
Of my nemesis
Who venom spits
Left me with
A hefty myth
Of demonic gifts
Through which to sift
In that dark abyss
I found I missed
A beautiful kiss
To unclench my fist

I give monsters a wide berth
As wide as the Earth
To avoid all the hurt
Of being buried in dirt
Once I learn my worth
To them is the worst

Through the monstrous night
It takes a monster to fight
Against this monstrous plight
When the monsters have might

Don’t tell me I’m fine
Or tomorrow’s a new day
Just say never mind
And send me on my way
Into the world of grey
Through which I wade

My inevitable metamorphosis
Put me on negative courses swift
Now I can’t abort this
So my phone cordless
Provides a rather short list
So when I try to import bliss
I receive misery’s scorched kiss
In the form of crippling loneliness

I see the end of times
From severed ties
And clever crimes
In my never mind
I forever climb
While I’m left behind

In this monstrous land
I become a monstrous man
Because of the monstrous sand
Falling from this monster’s hand

the city is beautiful until it corrodes.
the city is beautiful until you are trapped.

send me home,whispers your heart beneath
a grey blanket,but the city is where love and

genius live,we can't leave,we can't go
send for home,it yells,and now it is tearing

you apart it is picking through the sinews of
your warmth it is shredding you out

you push it peels you stop,it peels,
the book of chaos sits next to you

should you open it now?where does wisdom lie?
is it in your palms,or beyond that,somewhere

hidden, unfolded?
you don't know because the city is still beautiful to you.

you don't know because you never open that book.
(but your heart peels on.)