This fire inside me Burns
Like Sticks in a fire
The color of ember
The smell of black smoke
Filling my lungs
Fueling my anger further
All i can think is
I
Hate
you
when i know its not true..
This fire inside is growing
Almost too big to control
Enough to consume
More then just me or you
But enough to consume
Every light thats near and every shadow close
I wont let it take control though
I wont
I wont
I cant
But how do i stop it
When the flames Rise at every
Word or sight of you
Every time i hear your name
The flames grow wild
The heat unbearable to hold in
The smoke making it impossible breathe
How can i control this

Sometimes you irritate me
But I can't tell you
You will tell me how I'm not entitled
To an opinion about my parent's behaviour
You will tell me how I should do anything you say
Regardless of what I actually want
Sometimes you do things
Or don't do things
But I can't ask why, or why not
You will tell me how other things are more important
You will tell me that I shouldn't question you
Or that that's being extravagant
While the truth is that you can afford it
You will not admit your mistakes
You will not admit that you're wrong
You will not admit that you're hurting others
You will not accept that you didn't do your duty today
You will not admit that you were not careful buying groceries
It will be someone else's fault
Just. Not. Yours.
It will be someone else's mistake
Just. Not. Yours.
And how you are always being negative
About everything, and everyone
It. Just. Gets. To. Me.

be angry,
be furious.
a storm of torrential rain and hellfire.
but when you’re done
and your seas have calmed,
come home.

— i'll be waiting by the docks

Have you ever had the feeling
your heart had just bursted one too many times
maybe this time
it truly won't recover
from the wreckage
but oh my darling it will
your heart was never intended to be collateral damage in the warpath created by those who aren't brave enough to love you
& i'm so sorry they destroyed you in their wake of self destruction
but now the choice is yours
remain down in the dirt
bruised knees and angry tears
or
you can rise up
wipe the ashes from your skirt
piece your heart back together
take back the stolen bits
then keep on walking
until you find somewhere far enough
to remake your story
you have the choice to no longer remain collateral damage
instead
become the damage yourself

I have learned how not
To deal with fury -
From my mother,
My father,
And so on,
And so forth.
I have learned what inside
I don't want to be.
Left untamped
I would be fire.
Left unexamined,
I would own my rage.
Instead, I turn it over -
Laugh-crying at some,
Numbing at others,
Until I've far surpassed fury
And settled in even rockier
Despair.
I shake at injustices too great
And I heave my sobs
Into a furious ocean
Of everyone else's.
Better to quietly, privately drown
Than actually burn it all down
As would my mother,
My father,
And so on,
And so forth.

How dare you.
How, DARE, you.
Try to talk to me...
as if you don't remember anything.

I trusted you back then
when I needed a friend,
you were nothing of the sort!
You were the opposite.

I try my best, I try really hard
to leave grudges in my past...
but I have a dreaded feeling
that this grudge for you, may last.

Pretending to be there for me,
patting my back so comfortingly.
When really all you were doing
was luring me in.

Down to last second.
Before I was faint,
I swear I remember
the smile on your face.

I can't stand it.
How easily you decided my fate.
How do ******* live with yourself?
You make me feel things I can't bare to say.

What right have you
to tell her she's not beautiful
to press her till she can't breathe
to make her believe she's nothing?

What right have you
to push her around
to deflate her self esteem
to carve her heart out?

What right?

None.

So *******.

I’m poisonous, detrimental
I will destroy you and I won’t
even glance back to throw
Pity your way.
I am the tornado that sweeps
up the city without hesitating
Lightning crashes that shatter
The sky, thunder that shakes
Rooftops and terrifies small
Children laying in their parents’
Beds. I am the monster that
Hides underneath those beds
And grabs small feet as they
Hang down, I am the eyes in
The closet that haunt you
When you’re sleeping and I
Am the nightmares that keep
You awake at night. I seek
To demolish, I seek to scare,
I seek to tear apart your pieces
And fling them into rioting flames
I will mutilate, decapitate, violate
You without sympathy and I will
Watch as you cry out in pain
And wither away.
I am everything you’ve always
Feared I would be
And worse.