authenticity. the overwhelming affection from my two tuxedo cats after coming from from a long day from work. my father's love. my mother's embrace. the way poetry makes me feel. my favorite childhood memories with my grandma. the magic my grandpa taught me to believe in as a child. "if you wear these slippers to bed, you'll fly in your dreams." the nostalgia from an old ticket stub. (you loved me then.) trust. the beautiful people i stumbled upon in life that i now call best friends. the ride or die love i give to my friends, and receive from my friends. love. tender love. the kind of love that consumes me, driving me to the point of madness. intuition. heartbreak; a loss that imprints itself into my soul so deeply that it changes the way the world spins around me. kindness. (the authentic kind.) self-awareness. the gentle wear from a well-loved book. co-workers that make those long work days seem shorter. the sun's rays that feed my soul, and my plants. the smell of a rainy morning. the warmth radiating as our bodies intertwine. addiction. irresistible desire. recovery. the feeling of sand between my toes. (the part of me that didn’t die was filled with love.) interrupted silence of the mind. euphoria in a dream like state. the miracle of human experience.

- m lang

with a kiss
sever the chords of my throat
play a melody while i choke
take my breath
somewhere far away
beneath your skin and your face

i feel 2018
the way we breathe
as our spines collapse
and fall beneath

and i pray
to no one
that you and i
will still be
after all

-

Is my car really that good on gas?
I mean think about it...
And, what's that spltoch on the ceiling that's been here since I moved in a decade ago, and is now starting to look like a gigantic two-headed cherub? What is that brownish stain actually made of?
I mean think about it...
And, is Philip Michael Thomas still alive?
I mean think about it...

Mind blowing

he loves me
he loves me not

He loves me not

Never in a million years did i imagine this,
sensation of lonely haunts me.

                                         *consumes me

becomes the true identity of what it means to be me.
                  Alone.
                           Forever more.
No love to give,
No love to share,
No Love, that's it.
                           Nevermore

she loves me
she loves me not

She loves me not

you just haven't met the one,
oh you're young,
there's plenty of time,
                              stop stressin ***.

but that's not the point.

Used so much my soul screams for protection,
had people walk out,
judge me for my choices,
                               Like they were my choice

She loves me
He loves me not

*They love me not

sinking ship.
iceberg ahead.
I'm going under.
Ready to give up instead.

My walls are up,
Don't need to take cover.
Put the gun away.
Spare me of this final blow.