I so want to tell you.
I so want to dream with you.
I want you know me better.
I am strong daydreamner, loneliner,
So full of kindness and loving feelings.

I know how to make you and me happy.
So happy to scream it to the whole world.

I can see ordinary life like full of
wonderful details.

I know how to make you feel so lively.
I am person who is always on foot.
Going through and exploring.
I will take your hand and go out to show you
how my seeing of life is
How you can be happy in details.

This is me.
Daydream is my drug for you.
Everything with me is sweeter.
My Daydream.

Meet me among the numbing fields
where the cream narcissus grows.

Where my desperate human voice sings
against the flow of the autumn winds.

Do you hear the pillars of my empathy crumbling?

The wicked Imbolc has passed,
leaving me naked and sick in the light
of longer days.

Yellow-trumpeted blooms of each joss flower
are caught swaying to the emptying sounds
of my apathy.

Where I have been patiently waiting for
the flowering blood of hyacinth.

like a drug,
i just can't get enough
the side effects are
this numbness.
the pain of looking
your addiction in the eyes and
being reminded of how
you first died.
but there's no more
a reason to relapse,
no more season for sobriety:
so I stare at
my human addiction
in the eyes,
hoping he's also
the remedy.

shevaun stonem

I've had my time in bars.            Rather,
Parked out back in cars.  Chasing
Dragons through the stars. Destination
Far from Mars.      Cross eyed
Painless fearless heart.                       Cut

                 frame

Welcome, here we are.    Presently
Manifesting Arden far.              Dancing
Feasting ******* hard.  Creating
Broken blemished hearts.     Tarnished
Famished far flung stars.


Tarnished famished far flung stars.

The one who’s behind you is the one you love.
Something else calls you’re name, tickles your ear.
But what happened to the intuition of what was and is so true?
Ticks on your shoulders, did they wait for you?
Left you in corruption, an unsound view.

The trade is so strong, kills your brawn but what can you do? The pain never ends, when no one wins, you can only die in this life. The paper god on your tongue melts you into glue.

It’s agonizing as you bind the world.
Nothing splits you but your pulled by all.
Reality stretches your skin, your mind loses sight and you’re paranoid. It will never end.

And it never ends
And it never ends
And it never ends

A woman evolves from the colors on the wall.
Strange and hairy, lament grows as her fur.
Scintillating messages of life and death they call.
Who am I, and who are you?
I’m speaking in tenses contradictory to a single point of view.
I can hear her scream, as she shaves her pits.
So beautiful it serenades my mind and scars my eyes.

I’ll never have her, and she dissolves into the bars of this cell again. I’m coming down or I’m blasting off, so hard to tell when god digests so well. Release my mind. It will never end.

And it never ends
And it never ends
And it never ends

Pierced skin, stained skin, ripped skin, all over her.
She’s broken and odd, but so close to me, I can’t help but connect.
The cover of her book is blank and new.
Pages are torn and ******, nothing to awe but still novel inside.

It drains me as it’s end never finds an end.
I can’t belong here when I’m rinsed of life and I dry as glue.
Bound and confound I can’t decide what voice to choose.
You’re on the right and I’m on the left, in the middle is me and we are you.
The nurse draws a bath and I am rinsed.
Drooling in comatose they wipe your lip.
Who new god had a price and came in a sheet.
That little square is the key to become like me.
So free from what’s contrived when you can’t decide the difference in truth.

The days go by and the years turn to seconds.
The nurse whispers in our ear, your mother is here and we start to cry. She holds our hand.
And it ends.

And it ends
And it ends

It ends.

Drugs, yes... I’ve tried them. Hell, I’ve almost done them all. Been up and down and round and round like a kid playing on an old playground. Drugs take you places you don’t ask to go, they teach you lessons that will force you to grow.  Drugs are hard teachers, and not many pass the test. However if you do, you’ll stand out above the rest. You’ll have mental fortitude and blessings for the rest. Continue pursuing greatness and be humble till death. But Drugs let me tell you... I’ve had the best.  Socially accepted but probably the worst, forced love and alcohol truly hit me where it hurts. There was a hole in my heart and **** I tried to fill it... with anything I could grab or people to fit in it.  I used them and abused them like drugs... because they were. There are many things I regret, but I cannot reject, for these are the things that helped me project. I had to do wrong so that I could learn from it. I’m only human with fire like a comet. These days I prefer the best drug of them all... cartoons and snuggles, my son fills that hole. Being his father takes higher than I could ever desire. Now I see of what I’m required. To teach love instead anger, yet prepare him for danger. Pass that fire to all that desire to learn and grow from the lessons perspired. The future has been written, and to understand what’s coming, you must look behind it. The past repeats itself, unless you can change it. For the wisdom you seek you already hold, dig deep inside and look into your soul. That is where you’ll find your glitter and gold, it hides itself in talents untold. We all have them, and they’re all different... they’ll take you places you couldn’t imagine.

I'm not afriaid to die, I don't necessarily wanna be alive
I used to think I could never take my life and leave my family hanging, but I can't help this pain from my heart aching
One day it'll be alright that's what I keep hearing, but they ain't there when my mind is goin crazy
I didn't ask for this but if you did I'd say its ******* *******

Speeding through traffic, thinking to myself I want to let go of the wheel
My thoughts are suicidal, my manic mind is my one true rival
I didn't grow up with the best role models, hold up gimme a sec, I gotta finish this bottle
Faded as **** to numb my mind, with every sip I unwind
Blurred vision, slurred words, that's my negative grind
Turn around look up and feel the vibes, starry skies are my favorite nights.

Mary Jane and Tina ease the daily pain, but I also love smokin c
It puts so much strain on my body, and thoughts on my mind that're draining me
Thank the higher power or whatever the ***** out there for my family
The love they have for me helps me spiritually and emotionally
I'm talking about my mom mostly, she's my person

I appreciate it, through all the conflict
There's no resist when I need somethin
I can always count on her, I know I can get overwhelmed in this realm we call life
But that's when I grab my pipe and break a bud off the stem, smoke it, become myself again
I'm not stuck anymore, I'm free to be me  
I've dreamt of this reality because my childhood felt like an eternity
It's gonna be alright cuz the people all around got me
All this anxiety and in constant panic mode,
Some days you just gotta breathe and get through, just do you
No counting the seconds or minutes, stay present within your surroundings even if you feel like you're drowning
Deep breathing to know that you are okay, and that your soul is at peace for the day
My feet standing their ground, I'll make it sound with each step
Just let me do me, just let me breathe.

numb numb numb
oh dear drug
break up the pulver
line it up with my card
numb numb numb
oh dear drug
make me feel
make me flee
take my pain
bring me feels
line up another one
just to feel numb
you took my pain
you took my love
oh dear drug
anestethize me
tell me how you feel
tell me do you feel
tell me you feel
they still believe i feel
numb numb numb
smoke one more
play me more
take my pride
take my pain
numb numb numb

'''She is becoming  more addictive ☺️☺️
Maybe she is heroine
She smells funny
That's why I call her bunny ☺️☺️☺️
Simple round full lemons🤲🏽🤲🏽
**** am grateful to the farmer
Okay with then I like them more than melons😂'''