only with loss with you realize how important everyone is around you. you will learn to treasure everyone's presence a million times more when you finally know how much the absence of the one you love can **** you. but still somehow no time spent in the world is ever enough to make you feel like you've given your all to them. you live every moment making sure you're not taking them for granted while they continue living their lives totally void of the memory of loss. nothing makes you feel more alone and hopeless than this.

from moon to sun. from being beautiful and harmless, to illuminating & burning everything on this path that will hurt me, but still warm enough to give light to the ones i love.

To my first love.

the one who made me feel important. the one who made me feel cared for. the one who made me realize what it felt like to have someone genuinely want to get to know me. the one who never failed to show me so much affection and care. the one who showed me what mutual love was. and also the one who broke my heart. the one who made me feel the worst betrayal of my life. the one who showed me how disposable a person could be. the one who made me realize words could mean absolutely nothing. the one whose heart changed till i no longer recognize. the one i cried many months for. but also the one who taught me independence. the one who made me realize there's more than just one person i can love wholeheartedly. the one who helped me grow to be the person i am meant to be. the one who made me realize i am strong and fine being all by myself.

i will always love you, you will forever be in my heart.

what do i do with all this love left in my heart for you?
what do i do when i found my favourite person but the world doesn't want us to be together?
why did we meet only to be separated?
grief is love with nowhere to go
and with all this love left in my heart for you
i will never stop grieving

We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love

What we had wasn't something they would call normal
Chaos resonates in our eyes
We made impulsive decisions
We both didn't know if we would have the chance again
The chance to have someone to love
So we claimed to love each other when all we wanted was something else
Genuine or not, it was something I would never forget
I wouldn't say it was love, but it definitely taught me what love shouldn't be
It all ended as quickly as it started
But there were good times
And if given a chance
Those are times i'd live through again and again, and again
Our chemistry together was remarkable
And I have never felt so comfortable with someone
It's like we've known each other for years
But our chemistry was too strong
We both wanted what we couldn't give each other
But that's just life, right?
We never keep what makes us whole
And that's just the way it goes.