Heard what happen
They say it couldve been
Anyone
But it had to be you
Dont worry
I'm not mad
Not even dissapointed anymore
I've learned to accept the enevitable
Its much easier that way
Science has helped me with this
They call it
The law of inertia
Its an objects resistance
To change its state of motion
Unless
An external force is acted upon it
No wonder than that you kept leaving bruises on me
The older we got
Except sometimes they werent always
Physical
And sometimes
They didnt always heal right


I used to think
That whatever happened in the past
Were just accidents
Something that wasnt ment to happen
But it did
Right there was an accident
That maybe
Maybe our world ran out of external forces
To stop me
From losing my security
And my freedom

A lot like that night
When the knock on your
Car window wasnt for spare change
On hand
Instead
They asked for your hands
Behind your back
For a minute
And a half
But that half never came
Guess you couldnt do that math
With all that smoke stuck in your
Single minded brain
Your friends
Werent gonna bail you out
This time
No smooth talking
Clever lying
Was gonna get you out
Of the cold steel grip of these metal bars
Holding you down to where you
Seemed to belong
But you called
Called the next afternoon
Another wave of Im sorrys
And I forgives yous
But this time was different
it wasnt the sound of grown
Men crying
But somehow
I knew you were broken

My brother
You lived your life feeling like the sibling
That was always the failure
But Im here to tell you
The appel doesnt fall far from the tree
Because there were so many times
I couldve helped you
So many times i couldve hugged you
So many times i couldve heard
All your problems
And maybe even thanked you

Because its not just called a mistake
When youre doing something thats wrong
Sometimes
Its not doing whats right

So if any here should say sorry
Dont think youre the only one




Because inertia
In latin
Means lack of art

Or the act of
Unskillful hands staying idle far too long
To be called
Artists block
And
Im sorry brother
But i think Ive
Lost the art of
Loving the broken
Can see the beauty in
Human flaws anymore
I wish i could just see things
From a different angle
Like some holy mosaic
Only God could see from a far
But Im too near sighted
To see all the little broken pieces come
Together
Ive got to be up close
To see anything clearer
and I promise you
Theres no beauty from where im standing
Especially when its infront
Of a mirror

Some might say
Im wallowing in seld pity
But all ive done
Is just show all of me
Even the parts that arent so pretty

My brother
Used to call me a trophy case
With all my achievments
Out on display
Hed say i was showing off


But brother you are right
I am just a trophy case
See past all the glittering
Statues
And fancy certificates
And youll see something thats empty.

You left me alone.
to walk this path carrying your burden.
Why are you walking away?
was it something I've done?
will I be judged alone?
you never said sorry
will I ever feel the same?

REALEASE YOUR SCREAM

why should I endure this pain alone?
I now grieve for what could've been.
am I not good enough?
am I just a toy?
for your amusement?
enjoyment?


you left me alone.
to walk this path carrying your burden.
why are you running away?!
why don't you help me?!

am I  nothing?
am I just a body
for your delicate fingers to touch?
to burn your eyes across my skin?
to use me?

RELEASE YOUR SCREAM

why should I be silenced!
the guilt eats me alive
to my bones.
I am so ashamed.
WHAT HAVE I DONE!
I COULDVE STOPPED IT!
I COULDVE SAID NO!
but I didn't.
I am selfish
in it for my own pleasure.

RELEASE YOUR SCREAM

I feel the force of air rip through
my throat.
and the pain feels too good.
Understand this now.
I made a mistake.

I RELEASE THIS SCREAM

by Arcassin Burnham



why are all of you putting more weight on my shoulders,
waiting for the years of long pain and suffering to be over,
you all put me in a very messy mind state,
where i cant maintain,
suicide was the answer,
but it was never questioned,
out of all the ****** up things in my life,
all the exs and broken friendships,
i now realize that i cant be what they want me to be,
i can only be me,
get rid of some of this stress,
cant loosen up,
cant shake this phobia,
when all i do is shake,
like bruce banner looking for the cure to stop the hulk,
how can life go on from all my mistakes,
with bad people,
that i couldve impressed,
but failed miserably,
to know ive always hated myself,
father figures burned out of the picture,
if he could have been here my life wouldnt be like this,
deserving to die,
deserving not to live,
deserving not to care,
to live in anxiety,
probably for the rest of my life,
i hate myself.

it is warped, a flash, altered fast,
a hummingbirds heartbeat
glances in mirrors reveal
what couldve held elegance,
but now holds no potential.
a rose stripped of petals,
cities smothered in fog,
we are hurling questions into canyons
hungry for echoes, imaged answers.
on february nights I discover
tight smirks and smiles.
vampires to paper,
my thoughts hold no reflection,
I could capture syllables
dripping like acid from your sick, posioned lips.
loud apologies, pleading, forgiveness,
and yet, I sense no guilt.
love stories of bruises and scars spell beauty,
murals, pansies of purple and yellow
flourish, fill the curves of my hips.
sighing at the blades trail,
you kicked and shamed me.
six months pass, marks splatter your arm
needles now plant promises, whispers,
lies you starved for.
fingers dance against the pistol, never pulling.
empty shivers, applause from the crowd,
twisted approval only you could hear.
eyes that once wept at my sickness
glaze and fall heavy, water beaten, eroded valleys.
syringes drain the handprints I left.
three a.m. brings shaded skies
your cries for help glow, a crescent moon.
but I am asleep.