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No matter how hard I try to put myself out there
to get my foot in the door,
I always end up on the outside looking in.
I can’t seem to get out of this cycle.
I can’t take this anymore.
When will I get my big break?
Not anytime soon.
With all of this rejection that I am getting,
it’s tough to put myself out there.
Samm Marie Jul 2016
I am a minor miner girl
Living in a go and get 'em world
We come in by the dozens
And I think you all know how this story goes
I try to please everyone around me
Forgetting what's important
And as we all know that isn't the best
I should use my mind more often
To guard my sooty heart
All you other minor miner girls know what I'm saying
But I love and I love and I love
Never stopping to think of the consequences
Sure to follow
I just dive in heart first hoping to not hit the ground
And minor miner girls you know it's true
We try so **** hard
And we always fall
Straight on through to the hellish pain that awaits
I'm sorry if I upset you
My dear fellow minor miner girls
But we need to grow up
And we need to exhibit some sort of conceit
Not to the point of egotism and bigotry
Just to the point of safety
To the point where we aren't always stepped on
And can roll in the Major Miner Girls league
I love you all
Because that's who I am
But as by unspoken and now finally written law
We minor miner girls abide by
I'm still learning to love myself
So minor miner girls
Raise your pickaxes and your shovels
Toss off your hardhats
Because we are about to rumble with
The world outside our mine
We will be
Major Miner Girls
A follow up poem to my previous poem "As Bailey So Elegantly Put It" which was a response to Bailey Martin's "Coal"
"I'm going to kiss you"
but the hands were already reaching for my throat
committed to misery
a year of asking to be choked
"I'm going to try to have *** with you"
but thats why I came to his bar
moral compass might have been against it
but the experiment had already come too far

It was awkward the first time
but I could tell how bad he wanted it
both drank too much
he was nervous--i was loving it
For no reason, I persisted
stayed in the lab for a year
for so long it was one sided
it was forcibly impersonal, a text and a beer

"Come with me to this"
but i knew i shouldn't
tagged along a few times
tried to stay objective--couldn't
I loved him then
****. no ***** to undo this
experiment ruined, cruel and casual
doomed, mediocre bliss

                        Then any eloquence ended. Science overcame reason in ways I thought impossible. He was consumed by insecurities and double standards and my revulsion only drew me deeper in. He left me once for being offended when he was outwardly rude to my friend. I cracked and was pulled back my arm in another bar--at least if he's this angry it means I'm having an effect, it's evolving. Didn't want to say the words but I begged for forgiveness.
                        He joked about ******* my friends; he recalled "girls" from his past. I tried to reciprocate and was met with the usual onslaught of hypocritical rage. I disdained this behavior but considered it a victory when it ebbed--I do not recognize what the past year has made me. I did all of this for something I was only ever capable of being half-vested in. When he screamed over me in public and the hands came reaching up for my neck again, I felt a comic guilt for first noticing it was a callback to when I first committed myself to this work. It was an escape that I manipulated into becoming a mad doctor's monster. I'd taken a repugnant mess and given it life, and was somehow mistress and mother. It hopped up off my table here. I spent the end of my days with my beloved abomination trying to save it from the townspeople.
                       Instead of saving anything, I killed us both, beautifully. Neither deserved love. I don't deserve anything, except the things I brought on myself. I can't eat or stop eating, I can't sleep or wake. I'm in constant pursuit of *** when any touch feels inherently wrong. I drink to feel worse to feel better and I watch the kind of **** that I swore to advocate against when I was a nineteen year old feminist. I don't even touch myself, because the smell of my own body isn't mine anymore. The curve of my hips isn't mine and neither is my done-up face. My monster's face is now anyone, though, and I'm much beyond the fear that nothing will be the same for me.
Kagami  Dec 2013
Interrogate
Kagami Dec 2013
Psychopath, questioned and played with, complex mind games with
Paper fortune tellers and crystal ***** utilized by con artists.
Chrome decorated room filled with trippy, grippy, grabby men
With blue cats swimming around their head. Coherent words do not exist to them.
Sucrose breaks you down, sweet creature, and thieves the antimatter in your empty scull.
Your favorite song no longer passes through your hollow ears.
Notes and the beats... A heartbeat. The thrum of a low piano key in a house supposed
To be isolated and abandoned. You are not alone here, child.
The demons summoned her because of the lettered board between a mattress
And box spring. The springs are broken from too much activity,
Don't jump on the soiled mattress. That's how you receive punishment.

But one without two does not match the storybook your mother read to you.
The nauseating tale of role,play and *******. Everyone knows the story, seen the Disney.
You can run, but you can't hide from the memories of horrible visions
Given to you by the gods. Hold on, child. You will grow to be a man one day
Despite the nightmare of being a wolf child who clawed his way out of his mothers womb.

Jolt and sweat, forgotten top bunk , and a concussion;
The dreams are back. The recurring realities of a twin long lost, but somehow inside.
Dream catchers don't make the callback list, can't act for the life of them, but
They are beautiful against the scenery.
A porcelain doll holds the demon that hacked my system and took controll of my history,
And once again, she takes my place, fooling everyone into thinking I am here
When, in reality, I am buried six feet under.

Blood dribbles from the letters chilled into my stone, I curl and let them add more letters into
My back to symbolize the life I led. The collection of poems I wrote about you are the ones they
Cut into the skin on my legs, permanent reminders of what I have felt.
"What have you felt?"
***Everything.***
Mayah Seals  Nov 2014
Losing Hope
Mayah Seals Nov 2014
I was always told to hold onto hope if nothing else
So, I hoped I would make it to hollywood
But I never got my callback
And I lost a little hope
I hoped to meet my idols
But I turned out to be another face in the crowd
And so, I lost a little hope
I hoped someone would stop and see behind my mask
But everyone kept walking
And I lost a little hope
Now, I just hope to make it through a day
But everything keeps falling apart
*And I realize I've lost hope
Jackie B  Dec 2014
Tales of Time
Jackie B Dec 2014
every year
is a month
that happened twelve times
every month is a week
that happened four times
every week
is a day
that happened seven times
every day is an hour
that happened twenty four
every hour
is a minute
that happened sixty times
every minute
is a second that happened.

so this second
this tiny little fleeting thing—
my dear, that’s your minute, hour, day, week, month year—
just the replay, callback, repeat buttons are a little bit stuck
so everything happens a whole bunch

but in the end its all the same

so fight
with your dear god ****** life
to make them different.
repair yourself. unstick the replay repeat callback buttons
and dont let your time be a series of play backs.
make each one a new route through the park
a new journey

to a new star
a new poem
a new sentence

lose the order of time.
you have the power to make every second different from the next

you can turn each second into an experience
a journey
a song
a rhyme
a hug
a smile
a new friend.

so dont let each year be a year

make it a scrapbook
of the world and you
a constant evolving friendship
with endless things to do.
Robin Carretti Feb 2019
Oh! Heaven no back path
         To Hell*
Those down days bills
No Jack and Jill 
Up for love of Venus  
Going down memory lane
Here's to our future
       Arthritis

The love walk special
treatment  
Guilt with love
resentment staying
resilient
Washed up Queen
  Parliament

  OH! hey  RIP_to VIP

Who named my plot
Calling all girls last shot

Is anyone  *Up For Love*
lovesick from your Ex
Or the *Fed Ex* trucks
A big kick in the pants
   
"Backing Up" words
We cannot hold
them forever
__
They swing like Tarzan
Good posture "Mighty Jane
Yes we have" Bananas  
Where to elope

Getting licked through the envelope


Watch your back
Engraved love
impression
Love is healing
Do you want to know
a secret confession
Backing up Love Gods  

 *Strawberries eye patch  
   Stay loyal that's a match"
 Not getting your money back
 I'll be back but he's not
    coming back
     I'll back your
     Wedding steps


  "I Cloud" backup
just ******* 
* Recovery file back up
Slingback Stress-free
Wearing  low back
The camel-back coffee cup
Android never avoid callback
*

I wish I was back
Pat on the back praise
Top notch raise
Tree grows* in* Brooklyn*
How can I back the world up
On a tablet Duracell
Goes on and on message

Can be a bad habit?

Somewhere over the
    "Rainbow Hobbit"
Being a servant a butler
Your personal trainer
True lover four leaf clover
Or writers block
*Is love always by the clock
We all need a back up plan life can be sweet counting all the hearts love can be the biggest performance  love is fierce like a truce throw of dice backing up love we all need the right advice
Neal Emanuelson Feb 2015
Love Function

Love function.m
------------------------------------------------------­----
function ***= hopeful (pain, pleasure)
% ***                        A romp through the meadows below
%                               perceived as a token invitation to
%                               the gates of heaven and hell back, enjoyed.

***.plans=...
['kiss', 'touch', 'play';
'hug', '*****', 'nookie'];
duration= 45.00;
awk.silence= 480.00pleasure;
rest= 0:1/pain: duration;

love = [ ];

for i= 7:length(pain)
pain = pleasure (u);
if (pleasure= 'kiss' && pain= 'touch' &&  pleasure= 'play' && pain= ''*****' && pleasure= 'hug' &&  pleasure= nookie')
         %checks for comfort
         continue
    end;
    [ii,uu] = find(pain==pleasure);
    moan = cos(2
pipain(ii,uu)duration) + cos(2pipleasure(ii,uu)awk.silence);

love = [love, hate(2,awk.silence), callback]

end;

maybe(yes,no);
relationship(love);
For the geek/nerd in all of us... (no, it doesn't run properly, the variables are incomplete, like love supposed to be).
MV Blake Apr 2023
I don’t want to talk to angels,
Not for me, the bleeding priest.
I want my ****** doctor
So I can find some peace.

I want a ****** expert,
Not a hippie with some tea,
Charging excess for the karma,
And no money guarantee.

I can’t take ****** ginger,
It brings me out in hives,
And you can take the Echinacea
And stick it with the chives.

I want the ****** doctor,
Tired eyes and cynic smile,
Who’s seen it all before
And has my details on his file.

Pull out your cold machines,
Test me to the hilt;
Try to find what’s wrong with me,
Before I ****** wilt.

I don’t want to wait for callback,
I’m not interested in online;
It’ll only tell me that I’m dead,
Dying,
Or I’m fine.
E Townsend  Oct 2015
Ghost of Her
E Townsend Oct 2015
The scary thing about
how time heals
is that I forgot
the only person I wanted to remember.
I force myself to be okay with that.
I started to lose

all the details about her, all the fights I knew I'd lose
before the arguments began, because I couldn't stand to think about
her being upset with me. I was quick to let her think that
the tension between us healed
that neither of us could remember
the reason we were fighting in the first place. I forgot

her coffee order when she's sad, I forgot
how she freaked out when she lost
the callback to someone we despised. I forgot how she remembers
that I counted how many chicken nuggets I ordered. She was all about
knowing the little things that kept me at ease, that healed
my stress away from her. But then I knew that,

with the poison I kept on the tip of my tongue, that
would be impossible. She tended to forget
even though she was the one to heal
me emotionally when no one else could, she would lose
me at the same time with disappointment. It was not her fault. About
four years now, I'm still alone in pictures. I remember

that we were always together in a single frame. I remember
I kept my mouth closed and she smiled with her teeth. That
passenger seat remained empty, beneath a full moon about
to transform into new. Once I forget
eclipses only last a few hours, I lose
the nostalgia that never did get me healed.

Replaying my memories will not heal
what I once had. I will not remember
everything I thought I'd never lose.
Once it hits, I am on the floor, pressing into the cold tiles, so close that
I can reimagine her skin, and I will never forget
all of the things I thought about.

I believe she can no longer heal me and that kills me.
I can't remember to forget her.
I constantly wonder about her, and the universe I lost.
Swirls of green and peach adorn me.
Bubbles tickle at my lips.
Nectar purchased near absorbs me.
Where did you learn to do this?

Superficial little beverage--
Undercover influence.
On our mouths and used for leverage--
Well, we've never made much sense.

Four lips searching sugared contact,
Be it from a can or kiss.
Stretched between our every callback
Lay a smile or a sip.

I can't think what you would taste like
Without citrus as pretense.
Sweetened drinking was our limelight--
No, we never will make sense.
Who cares, making sense is for other people. :)
AavelinaJaden Jan 2016
I am made of wood and nails.
I am made of porcelain and a mirror.
I am made of mattresses and late night thoughts.
I am a flower who's through tears you water and through words you feed.
My petals will rise up to the rafters to give you a life to lean on
I will not boo you, or creep insecurities up through your feet and into your lungs, it is my soul that is the curtain that hides you from the misery, my echo that gives you the final callback, so callback the audience and give it one more try.
Stage fright? It is I who should fear you.

— The End —