The word itself
The word itself
The word is lost,
And I am
In its shadow, its very being.
On, the, word - open
The word itself
The word I shreek from
I want to stay from....
The very word, the word that I will never be close to, the word,
My mind is looking
For an answer.
I'm not sure anymore. Because,
When I look up, there you are.
And I..... lost it.
Those thoughts that make me - an individual.
Those thoughts that me me - unique.
........... End so quickly - with you in my presence.
My own being - lost.
My own mind - lost.
..........You can be too much.
To many thoughts, emotions, ideas for my being to
And I am losing what I need.
Who I need to be.
- One Day, I will not need question marks (?)
One Day, I will not need last minute calls...
- One Day, I will not need confusion
One Day, I will not fall so deep into my delusion
And I will not hold onto a faint, loose, illusive - idea
To be in your presence -
I will, one day, not feel the need to be beside you -
Because I hope.
You're are no longer a hope......
And I will stand with my own two feet -
I will be planted in my own being, not hoping - for an idea.
I will be brave!
And I no longer wait for strength from other's before I ask it from myself.
I will no longer wait for their question marks to become my ideas of romance.
I will no longer wait for an idea
I will become the idea - of who I am meant to become
So I will never lose again.
So you did, listen.
And winds - blew me over.
And waves sucked me in.
And you did, hear me.
And you did, see me.
And all the stars collided - once and for all.
The ands, and ands.
Coming in unison - coming together.
The moment is the vase, the bowl, the pool of collections of moments
All rushing, together.
And I see how you cared, over and over and over.
Now, over and over and over,
one moment is the collection of how you - saw, believed, hear, watch, care.... how you want me,
How I want you
And a moment is not what is one moment
The moment is, now, how everything before and everything in the future is making this moment seem greater and
More, you look beautiful.
Nervous tick, like a beating drum, thumping, dumping.....
Pouring, waves, into your chest, waves of pure blue.
And electricity shoots through like a power surge
A fluttering heart cracks open ideas, waves of amazement
And dreams of vulnerability
And dreamers of fleeting ideas, caught in one giant (tornado)
Always a mess, undressed - eyes of green, blue, sage, summer days - wasting away
Are the feelings reciprocated?
Until a physical touch, is no longer caught in the distance. Until a physical touch is mentioned in your prescience
And all your tornados became storms of grey, black, and darkness shrouded your thoughts until you were touched with hesitancy.... with consistency.... with assurance
Stuck in time
Pinching, wishing, and waiting
Wishing there was another way, but it seems like time is stuck in between your hands
And there is no trick to move forward
And as backward as I feel
I still think of your in fondness
The tightest grip on a loose tether string
I want to lose control
Be in control
How can they happen twice - at once?
I feel you, I see you, and its pounding.
And I can't lose myself, I can't lose control.
Oh You - and how I stand alone again.
And when I do, lose control, I lose you.
But I need to lose control to get you.
Do I know what to say, do?
How to act....
How to feel...
I want to stay away.
I want you to stay away.
Or I may lose control, and I mean control over my senses
Yet, I need to stop worrying about controlling you or me.
Controlling how I want everything to happen.
You to happen,
Me to feel
So let it flow, free fall, tumble and take its wave.
Tumble on the shore, and pull back into the current - once more, it splashes down on the wet sand
And each curvature in the wave is so different, pushed by wind, and shaped by geography
And each push and pull towards you, should flow
As I realize this, I may lose my grip