Your eyes are as green as the forests that you love
And I know that you
Would spend every second of every day in them
If you could

The way you come alive in nature
I'm almost sure
That you're actually a nymph of the woods
Lost in the trees, flitting here and there
Friends with all of the forest

Examining the strangest fungi
Eyes lit up, voice excited
It makes me smile
Watching you where you love to be

A squirrel darts across the ground,
And your attention shifts
For just a second
Before you're back to the trees

This, right here
Is where you belong
And I'm lucky
To see it

I still haven't gotten used
To sleeping alone
With just your stuffed animal
Where you used to be

Every night I sleep alone
I think of you
And I die a little more

Breathe in
Breathe out
Monotone, dull, routine
Get up, dress, work

Flash a smile
Drop a laugh
Don't let anyone
Not one, see

Behind this mask I'm dead
Breathing isn't a sign of life
Not anymore
I move, I work, I talk

But it's robotic
Autopilot
Happiness, joy, fulfillment
Sadness, grief, pain

Gone
Replaced by
Grey

You're it
You have been for so long
If I believed in love at first sight
It would be you

No matter what I do
You're always the one
On my mind, in my head
All around me, no matter what

It's you
Only you
Always you
Forever

I am lopsided
I always have been
But I've never felt it so sharply
As I have since you left

Now I feel like I am tipping
Barely balanced on one foot
Waiting for a brisk wind
To ******* over

You aren't here
And I don't have anything
To keep my equilibrium
So I tip, tip, tip

Things falling off
As I desperately try
To keep them all balanced
And I tip, tip, tip

And wonder
What will finally knock me over
And I know
I won't get back up

I can't tell you
That every single day
I wake up and I think
"Maybe today"
"Maybe I'll do it today"

Maybe today I'll end it
Write my goodbyes
Make a phone call
And then **** myself

I can't tell you
That I feel like half a man
That without her, I am missing
All the best parts of me

You don't understand
That for years, these demons
Have been in my head
And she saved me from them

She saved my life
I was going to die
Young, and at war
But she gave me hope

I can't tell you
That I am an inch away
From just drinking and drinking and drinking
Until I can't remember her face
Or her laugh, or how it felt to hold her in my arms

Until I can't remember how happy I was
Until I forget how she made me feel
How we would just stay in bed
And talk

I am so close to giving up
But I can't tell you that