What if I told you I was dead inside?
That when I fall asleep, I feel the need to hide.
Hide from all the shadows that lurk around my bed.
Shield myself from voices swirling in my head.

What if I told you my life was stolen?
Had only I been miscarried while her belly was swollen.
I was never child. I had never had the chance.
But I keep telling myself, "All you can do is dance."

What if I told you I used to stay locked inside a room?
To avoid what's called a family as their presence would loom.
To hide in the bathroom after dinner almost every night.
Because every meal, offered a fight.

What if I told you the bathroom floor is my home?
The only safe place. Better off alone.
Hot water and porcelain friends.
It's the only place my pain ends.

What if I told you of blood soaked wings?
You wouldn't understand any of these things.
Maybe I'm crazy. I guess it's okay.
I never had hope you could stay.

I went into your room last night.
My intensions truly pure.
But when I opened the door,
Your scent was no longer near.

I crept into your bed again.
But you weren't by my side.
If I hadn't been so drunk,
I wonder would I have cried?

Your bed's no longer soft.
The sheets no longer warm.
No stuffed animal to lay beside.
No arms to shelter me from my storms.

I woke up in the morning.
There's not a trace of you.

The walls are bare.
Your belongings all gone.
This place is lonely.
I played your song.

This is goodbye again.
The thing I hate the most.
Time keeps moving forward...
Leaving me behind...

How do I say farewell to these images that keep lingering in my mind?

I don't want to call you, you.
I want to say your name.

You're not just a you to me.
Even though we can't be together,
I can't complain.

Even though each time we meet,
I think it rips us both apart.
You for being disloyal.
Me for my fragile heart.

Your face...
It's pure beauty.
Your jawline, smile, grace.

Your hair...
It melts through my fingers,
Whenever I'm in your embrace.

Your lips...
They seem to know me.
How they pull me closer in.

With you, being bad never felt so good.
For you, I'd always sin.

Your touch sends sparks right through me.
I wish I could have you any time.

But just like I can't force this poem...
I can't force you to be mine.

7:56 p.m.
I fell asleep to the thought of you.
Are you okay?
What's wrong?
What did I do?
I want to sleep beside you.

12:30 a.m.
I woke up to the thought of you.
Is he sleeping?
Did he cry?
Did he send a message?
These thoughts.. why?

1:00 a.m.
I'm restless with the thought of you.
I just want to sleep.
I don't want to picture your face,
Or the next time we can meet.

1:30 a.m.
I can't sleep to the thought of you.
You are poison in my mind.
Everything's a game for you.
I'm the piece that's left behind.

2 a.m.
I don't know where I'll be..
Can I drift peacefully to sleep?
Or will you haunt my dreams?
In my sleep, will I shed tears?
Thank for this pain...
I'll cherish it all my years.

Have I intoxicated you?
Wrapped my body around yours?
Taken you to places you've always wanted to explore?

Have I charmed you?
This sad little lonely girl..
Who is she? Why do I care?

Have I awoken you?
Do you see your dreams?
Can you hold them firmly?

Have I inspired you?
To be a better person...
To try your best.

I'm a curse and a blessing.
Both at the same time.
You won't realise it as our bodies are intertwined.

When I kiss you, you'll thinj it's just that.
But give it time..
The image of my face will keep coming back.

I will haunt you when you disappear.
When you think life will be normal again.

You'll remember this girl.
Who just wanted to be your friend.

Why did she do this?
Why is she that way?
Why is she crazy?
Why did we play?

Why did I fall for her?
Why did she fall for me?

Your head will search for answers...
But there won't be any...

Yeah... I am poison.
My kiss a deathly weapon.
My time a ticking bomb.

But my heart is the potion.
I've held so much love all along.