Sometimes reality will unfold
in such a way that
you actually wish it was a bad dream
that you could wake up from...
that isn't the case
and although life tends
the most unexpected situations our way,
more often than not,
we are only ever left with one ultimatum...
...and that is
to brave through it all,
as best as we possibly can.
buried in the comforts of pillows
smooth between rough palms
cheeks pressed ears hear ruffles
crackles sanding away sleep
or what is it i seek?
one toe forward foot after foot
around the room step over chairs
the air is thick with my sealed lips
hear it in the hairbrush combing
harshly through my roots repeated
again and again for soft holds no
split ends but hear the frizz in the
fizz sizzling tension to shoulders
being stretched forehead massages
try not to pop pimples or crack
knuckles, truly, what is it i'm feeling?
in the emptiness, the dark is my shrink
illuminating the messed up thinking
about how i'm thinking like this
i'll trace the little bits of light managing
to reach into my little box
caressing my walls like your voice
sweeping through the hair falls and dust
settling on my rigid bed the fuzziness
of awaited rest never seems to lie
There are times when I...
feel like I want to feel so badly,
feel like I'm feeling when I'm not,
feel like feelings are even congesting my
Wishing they would even detach
themselves from my very being.
Where one moment I almost have a
complete grasp over them,
only to have them slip right through my
Caught between the thoughts rushing past
and the confliction my heart has to bear...
There is no point of mutuality
that is on the brink of finding it's way to me....
(at least, not just yet)
Under the bridge is your favorite red hot chili peppers song.
You hurt your head skating the other day.
You kissed a girl and she didn't call you back.
You smoke Marlboro reds like they're good for you.
You drink beer like it's water.
You drink water like it's liquor.
Your cigarette burns will go unnoticed by the new girl you're talking to.
You flash a smile and my stomach drops.
It's not fair you know.
Leaving a girl alone so late.
The lights are dimmed and music plays.
You could be here, where I lay.
Poison to me.
But your lips pierce deeper than any spear.
Your skin is electric beneath my finger tips.
My skin melts like butter under yours.
Your eyes are simple.
Full of confidence and determination.
Timid and shy.
But the way you make me feel inside...
When your hands run down my body,
The air escapes my mouth.
When my hands are in your hair...
I want nothing else.
Your looks, they kill me.
Your smile alone.
I hope one day I look at you and feel nothing at all.
Every night is another session of inception
My mind distorts and alters my perception
What-if scenarios now a trained intercession
Is it me? Is it my views or my skin complexion?
Took a long time to reply, that's fine
It's all good, it's all good Mrs. Fine wine
Girl, I'm back for a few more rounds
No complications; this a "stress free" sound
Everything rides the windy coasters
While I try to cross life into a beautiful floater
I've thought about my golden childhood
"Why can't the world be like your childhood?"
No pain, no drama, no confrontations
Such a chilling sensation down my spine
Now all people wanna do is smoke and drink
I didn't think illusions would make us sink
trying to sleep
so much in my head…
get my heart broken
& this is how i end up..
wide awake with my phone
& music blasting in my ears…
Thinking about everything:
-memories from 2014
-how i made it out of high school
-how i came out to of the closet
-how i fell in love with this girl & got my heart broken by her in just 3 months
-how will my life be this year
-how i met a new girl but shes leaving in a month & i want her to stay but i have to let her go
A LOT of things just running through my head
sometimes its like a riot
& i dont know how to stop it
Late nights are just every night
where my thoughts are more active
i cant control them
sometimes i just wanna shut my mind off
& sleep until im all healed
wake up all new and ready for anything again
Late nights are so quite
my thoughts are too loud
the most honest thoughts come in the dead of the night
no one around, no one listening
alone but not lonely, apart but not parted
remembering the day, the month, the year
regretting everything and reliving the memories
routinely happening, again and again
nothing can stop them, these times of reflection