I sit in the car,
my dad driving to my left,
i watch the grass go by
because i like the blur


*He tells me, "ill pray for you".

The scariest thing
is not being able to trust your own mind.
It is my woeful enemy
shooting me from behind.
Filled with nerves and harsh thoughts
i battle salty streaks and stomach knots.
I have no appetite and get no sleep
maybe its why i seem and feel so weak.
And while i try to understand this corruption
the anxiety and depression continue their introductions.
So theres a reason my mind and heart weep
over my broken thoughts that run so deep.
My doctor tells me this is "common"
that "others have it and are doing awesome".
But even though i know the stats
it doesn't make me feel any less like shattered glass.
And at the end this monster will take over
its slowly growing and getting closer and closer.
So dear friend, watch out for your mind
or you'll end up with a monster who is incredibly unkind.

I have numb thoughts
A murky mind
and clouded eyes

Im searching blind
Scratching shallow skin
Looking for bits left behind

I will do what the stinging tattoo on my ankle says
The one that i stabbed into my skin all by myself
The one that says breathe.

Breathe for the belief that everything will be okay
Breathe because scars heal faster that way
Breathe for the sake of renewal, health, and love
Breathe because thats what i was once taught as a small child

Breathe for the sake of not falling deeper
and deeper
into panic.

Breathe because even though i am scared of falling
of hurting
of not knowing
I will be OKAY

Breathe because it is our ******* right to do so
and breathe because my tattoo says so

maybe i have too high of hopes
for someone who is hopeless

do you not understand
the pain i receive

from your harm
and heart beat

for someone who is so supporting
i feel so disrespected

i would never tell you why
i feel so depressed

but please
just take a wild guess