I wish when you drank
you could be happy.

I'm afraid when you drink,
because you get snappy.

At first you dance,
then cry because your life is ******.

If you're sad, why shouldn't I be?
after all, you're the woman that had me.

Soon, I cry and drink too,
like mother like daughter, I do what you do.

reject me once
cool,
it was probably my fault.

reject me twice,
hold on,
something is not right.

reject me three/ times the charm
you'll regret it sugar.
I'll make you wish you were never born.

I remember you hugging me
as I inhaled the scent of masculine cologne
you didn't want to leave
and I did not want to sleep alone.

I remember you making me laugh
as I held my stomach like a small child
I wanted that moment forever
my cheeks hurt afterwards for a long while.

I remember you calling me 100 times a day
checking on me no matter how close,
no matter how far away,
you pleasured me often, I always wanted to stay.

but adolescent rules I had to obey.
a child I was and what we were doing seemed okay.
Now at night I think of you all,
rain in my heart, in my puddle of memories

I drown in our sorrow, I hopelessly lay.

my last crush was a Virgo,
no Angel but you gave me wings,
no musician but when you spoke,
I heart the sweetest birds sing.

You gave me hope,
to be who I was,
confused, deranged, and all
5'4 but you made me feel tall.

Then I got all crazy as I usually get
and you said enough,
you said that was it.
And like those before you...

you gave up on me,
you quit!
Now I'm like a ****** addict
when I think of you, I itch.

I wanted to see you smile a little more bit,
kisses, gifts, and picnics
at the park, romance and silly sh^t
it never happened, it was never meant.

It's all over because you're
a selfish little b^tch!
Cheers to you A-Hole,
and your zero tolerance temperament.

I had one chance
and I blew it.

You wouldn't look at me,
it was over, I knew this.

you ignored me and I wanted to cry
another lost lover, another goodbye.

I **** up often and don't know why.
you wished me well with life,

but without you, I may as well die.

she will always be gone,
by your side, but alone.

she will always stray,
always searching for a better day.

she will always leave
so cherish her now please.

she will remember you the most,
love her now, or haunted will be her ghost.

it's like being that kid
at a candy store
they smile at me,
I flirt more
flatter them until
my mouth is sore.

it's like hide in seek
in the dark
not knowing whether you'll find
a teddy bear or shark
afraid is my heart.

I keep driving down dead ends
I keep swimming in sin,
I keep seeking out men,
yet I find no one, nothing,
not even a friend.