Some say it's love
that when someone cares more
for another than themselves
it must be love.

I told myself I loved you.

I put myself in harms way for you
because your needs mattered most
What you wanted, I must give
What you desired, is my duty to fulfill

It wasn't until you asked me to leave
go away
simply disappear
that I knew it wasn't love.

I was never in love.
Love is a word reserved for the lucky, the few
never in love, but addicted

I craved your attention,
whatever glances you deemed me worthy
I ached for your touch,
your fingers pressed so roughly against my thighs
those lips.
well those lips were my own special line of ecstasy
they never failed to hit me hard and fast

my body went through all the typical signs of withdrawal
I trembled as our memories replayed in my mind
I laid restless because I still smelled you upon my sheets
my heart races, failing to catch up with yours,
failing to see that's its already lost

I know I'm addicted
yet I can't find it in me to care
they say I'm a user
abusing the substance
addicted to the pain
but how can I let it go
when it's the only source of feeling I have left.

I'm pathetically addicted
suffering of
you
us
to what could never be.

g.a