Remember the fun days with no money in our wallets?
Finding ways to hustle & stretch money to buy drinks like we’re alcoholics
nowadays we’re living luxury, smiling and laughing about it
Funny how that year changed us together, every time we talk about it
Memory flash, when I close my eyes at night
Waking up to a bright sun to a new day at life
Trying to remember that good dream before those flashing lights
Rest assured, my bond for you is right
Get no rest days, work 80 hours in 6 days
Never settle for temporary short-change
Improved to upgrade, therapy session really had me locked in
Time flies like a man in his dream sleepwalking
Went from Club “Lit” Saturday nights, to club “Life”
Club “Life” to creating a club at home with family and kids
My priority change when I decided to pursue this
Intentions will come at you at the highest expense
Especially actions that represent the real me
And frame a reflection, in the mirror, to really get a good look at me
Whatever helps cut down my image flaws to bloom a better me
No one knows my flesh that harm me, trying to build a lesser me
But God’s love armored me successfully

Up 5am with urgency, sticky note on the mirror reminding me
“Be good to people, be good to yourself organically”
Aiming to let go of the past that has burden me
Focus only towards today vs tomorrow and tread carefully
Another chance to shine, in hope my enemies take it personally
I take it to heart, demonstrates the desire to succeed fearlessly
The vision board written for God will create wonders for me
My legacy will leave a legacy, a generational love
A blood line of chosen angel warriors build ready to serve throughout eternity
A fearful reflection for my enemies who develop insecurities
Behind closed doors, falling short in hatred worshiping
Don’t need to worry, cause their views doesn’t concern me
The faithful ones will learn how to strive for peace through me
As I continue to strengthen my obedience in discipline maturely
Living everyday as my last under purpose with authority  
My ambition is centered around competition & collective security
Take some time off to focus more on recovery
I hope someday the grind retires me & the reward humbles me
By the end of 2023 I’ll give you a full summary

Haunted
Even midnight dreams are shadowed by
The most humiliating failures
And the inability to cope
In areas where I formerly excelled.

Tormented
By my need to get it right
While watching myself get it wrong
And race in all directions
In the hope of fixing things.

Ridiculed
And made to answer for
The things I used to do so well
And now can’t do at all
While there’s no place to hide.

Waking
From another graphic vision of
My inability to do the things that I did best
That specter follows me into the day
Eliminating any hope of joy.

Crying
One more day begun with tears
And lack of understanding of
The reason for the torture
That my dreams inflict on me.

Thinking
Was I bad and evil in my youth
Has it come back to haunt me now
No, I do not think that’s it
I am my own worst enemy.
The one to blame is only me.
               ljm