I told you that you gave me scars
And the look upon your face
Was that of deep despair.
Your eyes met mine and I watched
As pain and guilt filled them
I couldn't help but smile.

For scars are what we receive
When damage to our bodies heal
And the pain we felt starts to leave.
I had many open wounds
Across my tattered soul and heart
I could barely manage to breathe.

But you wound your arms lovingly Around my waist and you held
My shattered soul together.
Your kiss upon my once shy cheek
Seeped deeply into my aching chest
As the salve my burnt heart needed.

You gave me angelic scars of which
Are the product of your touch
Weaving together my brokenness.
The scars you gave me
Have made me whole in every way
I love our intricate scars.

-ARI

Like butterfly she is,
Forever in your mind.
You see her in all,
The pieces in your life.
Though she wasn't yours,
She was your true love.
You wanted to go away with her,
And you will leave all you troubles here.
You wanted to run away with her,
And you will bring all you beauties and fears.
You wanted to start again with her,
And you will leave all your worries here.
You wanted only her as she is,
You know that you felt with her.
Like Dragonfly you are,
The guard of her dreams.

Tenderly  now  He's calling,
Weary  one, hear Him say,
"Why will you doubt and falter,
Why will you cease to pray?"
Aching with pain and restless,
Life be a burden too,
Look there's a fount of healing
Out of His heart  for you.

i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"
   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"
so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"
i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"
before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"
   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."
and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried