Nightmares steal the sleep from me.
My mind is my, worst enemy.
The monsters are inside my head.
Where torture comes, in sheets of red.

I toss and turn and cry all night.
But no one hears, my mental fight.
Is this what's left, of reality?
When I run to find, my sanity.

I bang my head against the wall.
When the monsters, in my mind do call.
There high pitch screech is what I hear.
But the crimson, left behind I fear.

There's a battle going on, inside my head,
If I don't run, I will be dead.
Walls are tumbling, all around.
And bodies cover, the ****** ground.

I wake up all drenched in sweat.
A cup of coffee, I go and get.
No more sleep for me that night.
Sleep will come with strength to fight.

I'm sick of waiting,
I'm sick of this.
                   Free me from my suffering!
                   Save me from my abyss!
I'm sick of lying about myself,
I'm sick of pretending to be ok.
                    I'm not like everyone else.
                    I'm not ok!
I'm sick of hearing people talk about me,
I'm sick of people not caring.
                   I'm not what you think!
                   Why don't you care?!
I'm sick of remaining silent,
I'm sick of the thoughts that break me inside.
                   I'm not defiant!
                   I'm not going to stand aside!
I'm sick of being trapped,
I'm sick of it all.
                   I'm freeing myself from this
                   trap!
                   Im not going to fall!!!
I'm sick of being me
                   Don't judge me!
I'm sick of everyone
                  You're not the only one!!
I'm sick of life
                   All I want to do is die!
I'm sick of it
                   Let's end all this *******!

There's a little boy
Drawing in his room
Momma comes and sees
A vibrant ocean blue

He says mom would you like to know
Why this painting is my life
And why this image in my head
Haunts me every night?

When you look at the ocean
You only take the time to see
What's on the surface
You don't know what lurks beneath

You see blue skies and birds
Hugging the salty water
You don't see the shark below
Devouring someone's daughter

And over in that corner
A ship has sunken down
It took a family with it
All the children drowned

But over on that beach
So many people play
They won't acknowledge the danger
For that would ruin their day

I feel much like the ocean
People only come when all is calm
But when everything is upside down
Suddenly they're gone.

Doctors post videos of me laughing
And photos full of smiles
But when I need the cure
There's silence stretched for miles.

They say I am a warrior
They call me brave and strong
But for this I've had no training
They've never been more wrong.

-ARI