Trigger Warning*

She sits home alone at night
Silently listening to her demons' fights
She's on the verge of tears
Thinking of her deepest fears
Her demons are loud
They sit around her head like a cloud
Razer blade to the right
Bottle of pills to the left
She picks one up
Then sets it down
She picks the other up
Her mind is so clouded
They both look the same
Both a way out
Both a way to ease the pain
She only knows she now has the blade
By the way the light
Sparkles off the crisp, sharp, edge
I like to draw* she thinks
Art is beautiful
She slowly drags the cold metal across her skin
Once, twice, three times, four, five,
She stops
Looks at her master piece
And says
*Now I'm beautiful, too

When complimenting my appearance,
Call me unique before pretty
Bold before beautiful
Confident before ****

Compliment my style rather than my looks,
The choice of colors rather than your opinion if it looks good or not
The choice of patterns, accessories, prints

Mother,

I'm sorry I'm not skinny enough to wear clothes you want me to. I'm sorry I'm fat. But being fat is not bad. Fat is just a describing word. Just like skinny and chubby, short and tall. I'm sorry the music I listen to gives you headaches, I try to keep it down. I know how much you hate the screaming. Maybe sometime you could listen or search up the lyrics, please? Maybe you will know how I'm feeling after a few songs. I'm sorry my favorite color is black, not pink or purple. I'm sorry I don't wear dresses. I'm sorry I like dying my hair different colors and that I like piercings and wish to get some tattoos some day. What I'm not sorry about is my sexuality. Don't try to put me down because I'm bisexual. I will come back stronger and just rise again. I'm not sorry about what I believe either. I may not be catholic like the rest of the family but I still have a heart. Even with everything you dislike about me, you will never break me.

You cannot break me.

Sincerely,
Your daughter

She paints the galaxy purple and blue with little bright specks that reminds her of you.

She paints the galaxy purple and blue with little bright specks that reminds her of you
She was covered with purple spots polluting her skin
She was always feeling down, always feeling blue
But when she saw you she would light up, even if just for a moment
And you would light up her world
Like the little bright specks
Lighting up world
and the galaxy

Why do you kick me when I'm down?
I'm just going to find a way to get back at you
I'm going to find a way to bring you down
'Cause if I go down, you better ******* believe I'm not going alone,
without a fight,
without a chance.
I won't give up
You're coming with me.
We go together or we don't go down at all.

I can take you down memory lane
I can show you my highs,
I can show you my lows

Purple was the color of the shirt you wore when we first met
Purple was the color of the flowers you brought for me on our first date
Purple was the color of the sky when we first kissed
Purple was the color ink you used when you wrote me love letters every week
Purple was the color of the hickey on my neck
Purple was the color of my dress and your tie at our first school dance

Purple was the color you left my skin after our first fight
Purple was the color of hand prints around my thigh, on my back, neck, stomach
Purple is the color shirts I started wearing,
hoping we could go back to the first day we met,
when you wore

a purple shirt

"You make me want to slit my wrists and play in my own blood."

Living or dead,
You'll be in my head

Don't ask me what i want to be when i grow up because ill look you in the eyes and repeat "dead" until you cannot hear anything else

Driving to school,
couldn't see far
through all the fog
but I couldn't tell if it was fog
or tears threatening to fall.
I listened as drops of water
fell from the leaves
above on the trees
Were they crying?
Or were they plummeting to their death?
I turned up the radio as it started to thunder
so I turned it back down
'cause storms remind me that the sky
cries sometimes, too

It was the like room was filling with smoke and my eyes were burning while breathing became harder

I should be thinking about math, reading, social studies,
but instead all I'm thinking
about you
in school,
after school,
at night,
24/7