I find death fascinating
I guess it's because we won't know where we'll go or what will happen
The few good things I could think of are:
You won't have to feel invisible because you already are
You won't have to do things you don't want to do
You can be alone and no one would care
You can haunt people for fun
You'll have peace
You won't have to please people
They can't hurt you physically

But:
words would sting
Memories would fade
You can see them...
You can see them happy without you, okay that you're gone
You would know if they cared or if you were just some measly being that could be replaced

No, it doesn't happen
Through secret glances
And shy smiles

Nor does it happen
When you gaze into ones
Deep crystal eyes

It doesn't happen
In the midst of flashlights
Or romantic background music

It happens
When you see deep within
Ones soul
Not just the window
But the whole house of emotions

It happens
When he grows meadows of daisies
Inside the ugliest parts of you

It happens
When he caresses your tear stained face
In 2 in the morning
And holds you like you're gold

It happens
When you're upset over him
Not being there for your little fits

It happens
When the suitcases under your eyes
Are packed
With thoughts of him
And only him

It happens
When you're too young
To fully comprehend
What the universe holds for you and him
But what if
At a tender age of fifteen
You know he's the one?
The one
That holds the perfect fit
To your broken soul

It happens
When you least want it to

I'm your distraction
I'm going to distance myself
I'll let you focus
I'll be okay for you
People have said so, people know so
I noticed it too
These people has a team
They're against me
I didn't do anything
Did I?
Why?
Don't fight for me
Give up on me
I need to isolate myself
I want to escape this labyrinth
I want to give up
not on you but on life
please forgive me
I am physically and emotionally drained
The world was strong enough to break this spirit
I hope they won't do the same with you
Can I go now?
Would you let me?
please let me
Let me put a blade
let me slash some skin maybe some flesh
let me bleed
let me be *free

In our own little world
We've dreamed about our future
We've hoped for brighter days
We've shared our plans
And we swore to stay
At times we wished to be free
To cast away from these rules

Things would have been easier if it would just go according to our plans

But I don't regret
These hidden moments
The intimacy
These unfathomable emotion

now I have another thing to keep
A secret
Just
You
Our hearts
And
Me

I wish I could just stay there

I waited for you
Till my eyes turned white
Till the dusk became dawn
Till I froze at night
Till the rain poured then stopped
Till the wind blew and settled
Till I can't stand no more
Till your call where I've rehearsed my every word, every response, every negotiation
That I won't move
Till I'm in your hold
I won't go until you find me
I won't leave until you come
I would've stayed longer if you asked me to  
I would've surpassed all those things for you

But all I did was wait.
*I waited, waited for nothing.