never mind
it's not important
I'm not important
it's okay*

it's not okay.

these drugs aren't strong enough
I can still think clearly enough
to feel the pain pouring over
I said goodbye but it wasn't my choice
so sunshine forget I lied and come back home
to my heart and my lips
and I will give you again
*my one and only first kiss

Even the angels would want no part in this
If they could feel as I have felt

Stop
Hold your breath
I need time

Wait
Don't you leave
I need time

Keep
Your hand in mine
I need time

Stay
Don't walk away
I need time

Walk
With me now
I need time

Mine
If you give me time
You will eventually be mine
Mine Mine Mine
Mine

Sign your name on the paper
Make it true make it so
Its official it cannot be changed
Unless
The fire rages
The smoke rises
and destroy the pages of untold ages

I poured the glow stick into the bubbles
And blew you a kiss

*From my palm to your heart
It wasn't far apart

you laid me to rest forever
under the light of the moon
you put me in my own box
and buried me under the willows

and you and the trees wept alike

and in the moment
when I first met you I died
and it was the sweetest of all deaths
all the longing that had ever been before
lay cold in the arms of the angels

and as heaven fell
into the depths of the ocean
and the birds sung the saddest of all songs
all the dreams that had not yet
even begun to be dreamt
lay still in the heart of the demons

and when the tears showered
on the leaves of the forgotten
and my words died on the lips of all people
all the souls swore ad oath so sacred
and lay it to rest in the bones of a child


and as the whispers faded
on the breezes of the island
and the farthest reaches of the land stilled
and all of time breathed its last dream
and lay to rest in the arms of the angels

and I awoke
like the soul
and the fire
kindled in your eyes
and ever so brightly we burn

this paper is so thick
your judgements much to quick
just one blink so still
our eyes, the tears fill

you stamp it down
into your mind
those evil words
mixed with kind

you try to sort
inside your fort
you never let walls down
building up and around

you bite your teeth
into your hand
seep the screams in
like you planned

marks you leave
webs your weave
everywhere you go
but no one will ever know

what's in your head
between your sheet
where the lies
and the demons meet

a pile of sparkling gems
roses without their stems
left alone, left to rot
what is alive and what is not

in a garden
made out of thorns
here the flowers
grown like horns

to sting your palm
and break the calm
less than yesterday
more than today

never thought out
not thinking ahead
just afraid of the night
and filled with dread

like drops of white snow
that gently go
inside a crack
and fill the black

I hold your heart
inside of my own
I can't let you out
to be all alone

the protection you desire
the fear you hold like fire
every tempest hotter
without a drop of water

and so we burn
and get stuck
and bind ourselves
in ribbons of bad luck

closer to a core
what you're looking for
my sweet friend
is this the end

shredded to the bone
an empty shell
we build ourselves
a living hell

an imprinted thought
what I am not
maybe we just forgot
or took a wrong breath, and got caught

I swear if you ever left
I would care
If you died
I might not know you
But I have felt your pain
I would care
If you gave up
I would understand
And I would also cry
For I was not able
To give you my strength
So you could keep on breathing
I would
I swear
I would
I will
Always care <3

Am I wrong?
Put me back in box.
Use some duct tape
And trap my lips
You are wrong.
We never should have* --
**kissed

Every tear bought with love
Every gift from above

You harden your hearts
And stand before my throne
You stand tall
But stand alone

You don't know my power
You only see my face

I take away all that you have
Everything you hold near
Everyone you hold dear

A child you are, weak and ignorant
You can't find what you look for

I hide your treasures
And let go of your hand
Just so you can understand
That everything
Everything
Happens for a reason

Glide to the center
In your ghostly form
I could walk right through you
Like a wraith

It was a deeper shade
Than all the purples, all the purples before
They snuck in the edges
Of my vision

Like the sun
Setting into dark
They filled the abyss
With their chaos and color

If I was the lightning
Reflected in your eyes
I would be content
For I would always be with you

You crackle with electricity
But everywhere on this earth I touch
Turns to fire and ash
I dare not make you shine

For if I did
The world would burn
Into ashes and memories
And the tallest trees would crumble

You don't have a clue
How storms are made
Like your temper
They rise and fall

And like your dreams
They fade
Into a distant memory
A cold past

Every time I hear it
My spine shudders in recognition
My shoulders tighten like a rope
And I spark

Down the wires
I dance so merrily
Into your home, and heart
Through the walls I course

Nothing, but trouble and beauty
Like ice and salt I burn
When crushed in your hand.
A challenge.

You provoked me
Into the night and its darkness
I will return
In tenfold of clouds

And rain down
Until I reign!
You pull the reigns
And my tears rain

Like a bit in my mouth
These words are so sharp
I spit them out
And they foam

Like a rabid monster
I bit your heart
I wormed inside
And found my own way out

The small of my back
Damp with the sweat of my fear
The whole world
Thinking I am a star

I shine brighter
But not for you
Like a diamond on your hand
That you can't hold

But I found my courage at the bottom:
The bottom of the glass
The bottoms of the chasm
The bottom of your heart

I walked many halls
And the keys of your piano-forte
And then I fell
Like a crescendo

Black and white
I saw stars
Blue and purple
Around my eyes

They serve as a reminder
On my wrist
In your letters.
And every day

We don't forget
We just don't remember
Less and less
Until it's gone

When it's wrong its allowed
But we wouldn't say it out loud
So loud I couldn't hear
Until I got it out

We try to make it right
Wouldn't take what's left
Scared of what's behind
And the future much to near

So comfortable with the chaos
We hate it, until it's lost
I wanted so hard to find it
When that time came, you had changed

Your tentacles reach
And sting my skin
The lightning bites back
But it's to cold

Cold in my head
I can't shake out
Like a snow globe
With a pounding melody

I'm the wild one
With the blue eyes
With the knife
And the disguise

A mask of emotions
Ripped away
And the anger crackles forth
And wraps the earth in fingers of light

Go to sleep
With a solid belief
That love doesn't exist.
Awakened to a reality,

Where it was here
But it is destroyed
I know I had it
Now it's gone

It left it's mark
Like a hammer in my heart
And it got stuck
It wouldn't get out

I bite into the truth
And the regret trickles down my throat
The taste to bitter
To swallow

I checked
Every three minutes
For a new way to survive
But my patience wore thin

If you had a heart attack
I could jump you back to life
Rub my hands together
And dissipate the fates

But I do not think the fates
Would meddle with something as black as your heart
Like chalk on a white wall
You drew me in

And spit me out
Like you had swallowed fire
But I was already in your veins
Racing for your heart