Sign your name on the paper
Make it true make it so
Its official it cannot be changed
Unless
The fire rages
The smoke rises
and destroy the pages of untold ages

I wait
to be discovered
like the sun
chases the horizon


I breathe
in the morning air
and the crispness
of its kiss

I let go
of the night
and its darkness
and rise into today

and in the moment
when I first met you I died
and it was the sweetest of all deaths
all the longing that had ever been before
lay cold in the arms of the angels

and as heaven fell
into the depths of the ocean
and the birds sung the saddest of all songs
all the dreams that had not yet
even begun to be dreamt
lay still in the heart of the demons

and when the tears showered
on the leaves of the forgotten
and my words died on the lips of all people
all the souls swore ad oath so sacred
and lay it to rest in the bones of a child


and as the whispers faded
on the breezes of the island
and the farthest reaches of the land stilled
and all of time breathed its last dream
and lay to rest in the arms of the angels

and I awoke
like the soul
and the fire
kindled in your eyes
and ever so brightly we burn

Who am I to even long for sleep
When I have been given these stars in there ethereal beauty
For such a sight can only be given to a few in the dark
I must keep this secret
Or I to will be extinguished like a  candle to long in it's burning
Sleep is such a sweet comfort
If only the thoughts in my head were inclined as such
Yet I am resolved to this
That every night I look upon the stars in the sky
That I would remember you in my heart
For such a beautiful thought shall not be forgotten

I do not know what restful sleep is

I have to many memories that dance through my hair like little devils and climb into my ears to stab away at my mind during the quiet of the night when the moon is full

The radiance of the light shines into the sockets of my head and into the hollows of my heart, only to cast shadows in an empty cage that has grown cold in the absence of light

When I am awake my mind is like a pencil with nothing to put to paper only scratches of graphite so vain in there writing, so I do not know that as quickly as the sun sets a waterfall of feelings floods through my veins and bleeds onto the wallpaper in my head and down the walls

The tossing and the turning that my body does, a marathon of running, to get away from all that is chasing me and trying to peg me to a board of doubts and dreams, a torture rack of sorts

But, when I sleep next to you and my eyes pop open in the middle of the night and my hands shake with anxiety, when I turn over in the darkness and feel your body next to me, I have something to cling to besides the darkness eating away at me, just a little bit of light to get through the cracks in my facade

So I can close my eyes again, take a breath and sleep, and know that everything will be okay

you laid me to rest forever
under the light of the moon
you put me in my own box
and buried me under the willows

and you and the trees wept alike

We played with lighting
And I got struck

We played with lighting
And you had all the luck

Am I wrong?
Put me back in box.
Use some duct tape
And trap my lips
You are wrong.
We never should have* --
**kissed

Every tear bought with love
Every gift from above

You harden your hearts
And stand before my throne
You stand tall
But stand alone

You don't know my power
You only see my face

I take away all that you have
Everything you hold near
Everyone you hold dear

A child you are, weak and ignorant
You can't find what you look for

I hide your treasures
And let go of your hand
Just so you can understand
That everything
Everything
Happens for a reason

The world
She tried to break me
But she just broke me in

I cling to you
As though you were
The edge of a cliff
And all below me
Such a great distance
If I were to fall

I wish to let go
Of this ledge
At the same time
I grasp at it
For all that I am

These thoughts run
Through my head
Like sirens in the night
But never reaching me in time

I have no sure footing
Not a single leg
That I can stand upon
Oh how weak I am
In spirit and in stamina

What is this life
That I hold on
Why even try to stay
In such a ethereal existence
I am but a fool

My mind is filled
With everything that I loath
These memories that trace
Their stupid scars across my mind
Over and over
Like a beaten path

Only thorns.
You cannot claim roses
In this garden of rocks
In this garden of thoughts.
And oh the weeds
That you would pull them up
By their stubborn roots

Such a tangle is this
My life
My head
My heart
Like a sweater cast off the needles
I unravel
I am undone
All my efforts in vain
Again I say
I am but a fool
But a wise one at that

If I could make stars
I would not put them
In the northern sky
I would hold them in my hands,
For you to see such thing
Because if I cannot give it to you
I do not want such a thing

If you are not part of it
I want no part

Still as a small child
Oh though,
she had the biggest of hearts
To match her wide eyes
And to her
All the earth was wondrous
Yet appearances have great deception

Now she cannot,
Even see the same light
Her heart was touched
By cold, dark hands
Her body broken
By those sworn to protect it

And lies
So many lies
She them keeps woven in her hair
And under her fingernails

She sleeps with both eyes open
Or not at all

She walks with both feet
Upon the ground
But never with her head
In the clouds

And a knife strapped to her fear
To stab at her thoughts
As they try to run away

But into the night
She whispers,
"Do you know what it is like?
To watch yourself die?
To have little pieces of yourself  broken off and throw away?
And still make everyone believe that you are, okay.

I'm fine.

Have you ever felt like the whole world was sitting upon your shoulders? Because those who are meant to carry the weight, pushed it off, onto the frail shoulders of a child.

Have you seen it?

Have you felt it?
The hollowness inside, when everything that brought you fires of joy ... dims like a candle to long in it's burning."

Because I have.
I know many secrets.
I have traced them into my skin
Which is why,
Now.
I cannot forget them.

They are a part of me
This is why
I cry every night to sleep
Such a salty sentiment

But there is no rest for the weary

look at this heart
and feel it beating
see the time
and how it is fleeting

we have made
the sweetest of worlds
so many we forge
beautifully swirled

what did you think
would happen this time
it was better than before
but still so far to go

your words gurgle out
like a brook in the spring
and they spill over
into my thoughts

when I was like that
what did you think
was going to happen,
what did you expect?

I thought I should tell you
even though its been days
it not a cry for help
just a bandaid over wounds

wounds that are better left still
still and unremembered
for they are like dust
let it settle in layers

because once disturbed
your lungs would choke
and the balance would be broken
and I would be uneven

so gently tilt me
to the right angle
so I stand a little straighter
when you ignore me

Stop ignoring my screams
Can you hear my plea
I need you to set me free

Ugh!

That moment when you boil over
And the edges of your vision turns purple
And the warmth of you heart, cools
The lines in your face deepen and the
Smile on your lips fade
The happiness extinguished
Like a candle
And the stone cold impassible mask
Sets on your face
The lies pour forth like water
And truth is but a scam
And all the people who said
I will be there
Are not to be found
**** this choice, **** this pain
Maybe one day I will be the same

Depression is a side affect of living
The pills don't solve the problem
Asthma kills the life inside my lungs
And I am sick of being here
Without anyone to care
Far away from fear
Trapped inside my head
Just shoot me now
And put me in an endless bed
To sleep undisturbed
With none to keep me warm
Just put me to sleep
And the dead will keep
Their own

Yes
It's true
As much
As I wish
It to be
A lie
On the verge
Of dying
But alas
It is not
And I cannot
Breathe
Into this expanse
For it
I do not own
So just as a kiss
Id stolen
So this life
And now it rots
Off of my bones
And covers the stars
In life
Wasted
And tears
Much to salty
For life if fragile
And weak
But you
And your heart
Are strong
So pull me in
To your embrace
Lest I poison
The cosmos
With my selfish
Selfish agony